Wife wants separation..

**bandit95** · 12-20-2006, 04:24 PM

sorry to hear that man. before my wife started cheating on me she was holding out on sex. not gonna say yours is doin the same but when it gets rough you cant overlook anything. good people get shit on, just hate to see it happen to anyone cuz i know what your going through. best of luck to ya and your in my prayers.

**snaggeltooth** · 12-20-2006, 04:53 PM

You know Trouble that is when me and the ex had our falling out .. When I had my shoulder surgery... I was all messed up and laying in bed with a sling thing .. she says I didnt take her out anymore ....Im like look at my arm....and yea she was seeing someone ...
But still sorry to hear about stuff like that ...

**astyles** · 12-20-2006, 06:14 PM

damn............nothin like kickin a man while he is down

**Dax** · 12-20-2006, 07:00 PM

Like others said, it does sound like some cheating is going on. However, you might just have one of those woman who doesn't really like or need sex all that much.

Either way, better off getting out while you still can, if you can do it without hurting the kids. There is some excellent advice in this thread about the importance of lawyering up and getting a separate finanical account set up.

Good luck

**Bigrus** · 12-20-2006, 08:08 PM

Originally Posted by Trouble maker

Thanks for everbody's advice and opinions.This actually has been a long time coming,so the possibility of someone else in the picture is very remote.I never rule out this though..She is one of the type that gets tired early,suffers migraines.All of her time is accounted for,and we communicate on a daily basis.I really don't have a trust issue,its more of a thing where she says she just doesn't have the feelings,and feel that we would be better off seperate.Time will tell,and I think she is making a big mistake.I will consult an attorney tommorrow to find out if she is entitled to a percentage of my work comp claim,but my understanding is if I settle this case out before any legal action is taken,the complete amount will be mine.It will be at this point,if I decide to share any money,etc..but then again,I am not a lawyer.It really sucks,because there will be a time when I am going to be fully released from the doctor,and my work comp benefits will cease.Then there is the no-income period between the settlement time.At this time I will get my disability rating from the doctor,and this will determine what type of job that I can go into.I am lucky that I was making around 1300.00/week for the last 18 years at the same job,because that is how they base my weekly comp(TTD)of 730.00(tax free)I guess I got lucky in that instance.I am not looking forward to any of this,but I've been hitting curveballs for about three years now..Thanks again for everybody's support,and I will keep you posted on my soap opera..I wish these holidays were over...that makes it worse. Jim

Things will change when you guys go your seperate ways. If she is saying everything is fine now do not take it and just leave it up to her word and the courts. Women have the courts on thier side period.

The only way for a man to have the edge is to prove she has a drug problem, and is seeing someone else on the side. You need to be worrying about yourself and what you own/will have if she is smart an attorney can get her some of your settlements.

I feel really bad for you and seen some friends dragged through the mud when they thought thier wife was just gonna leave and be civil about things.

**dock** · 12-20-2006, 08:10 PM

After your kids, a GOOD lawyer and quick financial separation should be your top priorities. Let any of those slide and you may have your entire life to regret it.

**Trouble maker** · 12-20-2006, 09:05 PM

Originally Posted by Dax

Like others said, it does sound like some cheating is going on. However, you might just have one of those woman who doesn't really like or need sex all that much.

Either way, better off getting out while you still can, if you can do it without hurting the kids. There is some excellent advice in this thread about the importance of lawyering up and getting a separate finanical account set up.

Good luck

she really doesn't require sex that much...she was always this way...I am going downtown tommorow to seek consult,My work comp Lawyer got me an advancement on my case,so I will pick up a check in the morning,and consult with another Lawyer later on that day.I will hobble on down and make the best out of it.Damn this sucks.Its seems like it is hard to breathe and when I drink things,I got a big ass lump in my throat..this sucks...

**Trouble maker** · 12-20-2006, 09:06 PM

I might as well have him make out the check payable to the other Lawyer..Lol....I hope better days are coming...

**Trouble maker** · 12-20-2006, 09:12 PM

Originally Posted by astyles

damn............nothin like kickin a man while he is down

thats what really gets me..you know ,I asked her if she can hold off a little while,let me get some conditioning and therapy,get my back feeling better,settle this thing out,and maybe we could help each other out..I'm not a monster,or an ass.but let me get secure in a house where the kids can have some security,and not worry if they have to move out again.She is going to need a new vehicle soon..her minivan is on its last leg..you would think if we work together..why sink both of us..this is what really pisses me off..sometimes they don't think at all..

**Trouble maker** · 12-20-2006, 09:14 PM

the one thing I do see out there is alot of single moms,and just plain single girls who are struggling like hell.I would make one of these girls pretty happy,but I am damn scared to go through this type of situation again..

**94z28l** · 12-20-2006, 09:36 PM

damn man, i'm really sorry, i couldnt imagine how that shit feels, just wow. i dont even know. definately get a lawyer and set up a seperate bank account thats for sure.

**Dax** · 12-21-2006, 07:49 AM

Originally Posted by Trouble maker

the one thing I do see out there is alot of single moms,and just plain single girls who are struggling like hell.I would make one of these girls pretty happy,but I am damn scared to go through this type of situation again..

Things will all eventually work out for you- and it's good to see that you still have the right attitude towards women in general even if this particular woman is a flop.

**Danger731** · 12-21-2006, 08:01 AM

Originally Posted by Trouble maker

the one thing I do see out there is alot of single moms,and just plain single girls who are struggling like hell.I would make one of these girls pretty happy,but I am damn scared to go through this type of situation again..

Yeah their called strippers !

**69MyWay** · 12-21-2006, 08:07 AM

Tough medicine...but this thing is a two way street.

Taking the high road, searching what you can do to make things better, and giving her the flexibility without heaping guilt on her to work things out will get you a long way.

The short term solution does not outweigh the long time damage to the kids, future...etc.

I have had two shoulder surgeries, one neck fusion, and am facing another. I know this time is full of much depression, frustration, and second guessing of your own worth. She is your sounding board. She has to see you in good and bad times...and right now are some bad times. She is just human too, so you have to expect her to grow weary...and you have to step it up to keep the balance.

My wife is supportive, but it is up to me to make her feel valuable.

If you don't already...find a good church and some Christian counsel. Not always the popular thing to suggest...but it works.
It also costs a whole lot less than a lawyer and years of court battles over the kids, your settlment...etc.

**98-LS1** · 12-21-2006, 08:48 AM

Just hang in there man, I went through the same thing this past year. There is alot of good tips on here, trust me, these guys lead me in the right direction. That stupid bitch of mine has been a thorn in my side all year but now she's cut off from the bank account and all financial support from me. If she wants to go have sex with every guy in Nashville then she's more than welcome. Our divorce is final on the second week of January, THANK GOD! Just hang in there and be the better person, sometimes things happen and you just have to be strong and move on past them. Life doesn't end just because a relationship has. Good luck.

**Bigrus** · 12-21-2006, 10:12 AM

Originally Posted by 69MyWay

Tough medicine...but this thing is a two way street.

Taking the high road, searching what you can do to make things better, and giving her the flexibility without heaping guilt on her to work things out will get you a long way.
.

The problem is there was a thread on here where everyone said "try and work it out" When someone has made up thier mind and say outloud "Im done" you pretty much need to realize its over. If she is giving up while in a rough spot what will she do when life goes down a rough road again?

I have always noticed men go down the road of "Maybe its me and if i change she will stay" not realizing women do not make fast decisions on things like this. Stuff like that builds up for months and by the time she says it outloud she has everything already moving ahead for her future.

**dock** · 12-21-2006, 07:47 PM

Originally Posted by Trouble maker

the one thing I do see out there is alot of single moms,and just plain single girls who are struggling like hell.I would make one of these girls pretty happy,but I am damn scared to go through this type of situation again..

Slooooow down. One thing at a time. You don't want to compound your troubles.

**SLIM_DURST** · 12-22-2006, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by Trouble maker

I will be with a friend (lifetime friend who is going through similar).

you can change your names to oscar and felix.

no , seriously that sucks. some women have cold dead black hearts.

**Trouble maker** · 12-22-2006, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by dock

Slooooow down. One thing at a time. You don't want to compound your troubles.

Oh I know...I won't jump into anything like that..I just meant that when you look at stuff like this that happens,you wonder why the hell do you put yourself through this when there are people that will support you through good and bad out there.......