Wife wants separation..

**Trouble maker** · 12-20-2006, 09:49 AM

Well as if things couldn't get any worse...wife of 15 years says she wants to separate..says she doesn't love me anymore..blah blah....I just came out of major back surgery after busting my ass for her the last 15 years,two arm,two hand,and a spinal back fusion surgery!I think she realized her gravy train ran out..It's like kicking a broken ass old horse in the ass.I just turned 39 yesterday.She is taking the kids to her mothers for Christmas,I will be with a friend (lifetime friend who is going through similar).We might get out of here for a day or two,hit the casino's and just chill.The worst part of this is that I have a six month to a year recovery.I asked her if she could wait until I am back on my feet,and wait till I settle my case,get into a house so the kids can have a stable environment to come to.Do you think this is being reasonable?We are not fighting,we can get along civil,go out to dinner etc.She is withholding sex and using this as a weapon,because I called her a bar whore.I meant that she is starting to be more than a social drinker.She took it the wrong way and now this is why she has withheld the sex.Damn I keep getting crapped on..and I am not a monster.I don't go out to the bars,don't drink,don't smoke..I like to gamble a little,but our bills are paid,kids get what they want..shit,this is going to be a screwed up 2007.Any comments or advice would be welcome.Anyone fellow camaro owner been through this?this sucks..It feels like someone is stepping on my chest and won't get off,not to mention the back pain that I still have....this sucks...Jim

**ZAPFOOL!!** · 12-20-2006, 09:52 AM

Originally Posted by Trouble maker

Well as if things couldn't get any worse...wife of 15 years says she wants to separate..says she doesn't love me anymore..blah blah....I just came out of major back surgery after busting my ass for her the last 15 years,two arm,two hand,and a spinal back fusion surgery!I think she realized her gravy train ran out..It's like kicking a broken ass old horse in the ass.I just turned 39 yesterday.She is taking the kids to her mothers for Christmas,I will be with a friend (lifetime friend who is going through similar).We might get out of here for a day or two,hit the casino's and just chill.The worst part of this is that I have a six month to a year recovery.I asked her if she could wait until I am back on my feet,and wait till I settle my case,get into a house so the kids can have a stable environment to come to.Do you think this is being reasonable?We are not fighting,we can get along civil,go out to dinner etc.She is withholding sex and using this as a weapon,because I called her a bar whore.I meant that she is starting to be more than a social drinker.She took it the wrong way and now this is why she has withheld the sex.Damn I keep getting crapped on..and I am not a monster.I don't go out to the bars,don't drink,don't smoke..I like to gamble a little,but our bills are paid,kids get what they want..shit,this is going to be a screwed up 2007.Any comments or advice would be welcome.Anyone fellow camaro owner been through this?this sucks..It feels like someone is stepping on my chest and won't get off,not to mention the back pain that I still have....this sucks...Jim

Damn that is low to leave a man when he is recovering from something like that

**Spaz** · 12-20-2006, 10:01 AM

when you are fully recoverd... kick her down a elevator shaft... fucking women like that...
sorry bro... things will work out... just think about your little ones...

**nhraformula** · 12-20-2006, 10:11 AM

chances are shes having an affair. ill bet she has disconnected from you awhile ago.
hate to say it, but get ready for the single life.

**transamprincess98** · 12-20-2006, 10:48 AM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

chances are shes having an affair. ill bet she has disconnected from you awhile ago.
hate to say it, but get ready for the single life.

Stop being such an angry, bitter piss head

**transamprincess98** · 12-20-2006, 10:49 AM

Sucks that she is being such a major bitch. Hope things look up and you recover better than new. Karma will bite her in the ass

tater_salad · 12-20-2006, 11:55 AM

Dude, that sucks, I really hate to hear that. Friend of mine is going through the same thing. He could be my dad, but we're hanging out like people the same age. Man, I really hate to hear that, especially around the holidays...

Just think of the kids in all of it.

**tnthub** · 12-20-2006, 12:36 PM

I know you do not want to hear it, but you cannot help someone who does not want help or perceive a problem. My family has a streak of alcoholism and it takes many many forms.

The bottom line is when the bottle replaces family people usually have a problem.

I do not know you or your circumstance, but a lady who withholds sex as a weapon, regadless of the situation, probably need some therapy. That just isn't "normal" behavior in a married relationship that has a chance to be happy.

My suspicion is your wife is moving on, and quite possibly in a way in which you do not approve or want.

My unfortunate feeling about this scenario is to start shopping for a good lawyer and see if you can have some counseling as well, perhaps as part of your treatment for your injury, with someone who is experienced not only in injury rehab but is also experienced with family counseling. That way you can receive some sage and confidential advice without running up additional bills when things are likely to be tight for awhile.

The only person you can fix in this scenario is you. I do not mean "fix" in that something is wrong with you... I mean it from the perspective of helping yourself adjust to what are likely to be major life changes ahead and from the perspective of not screwing yourself in the process.

**Neil** · 12-20-2006, 12:44 PM

It sounds like you are involved in some sort of legal action.... which you stand to collect some money? If so, dump her now so you don't have to share the settlement with her. If you win the case and get a payment, it will become maritial property and will most likely be split. If you dump her now, you stand a chance of keeping it all for yourself. Also, if she gets the kids, it would be better to have the child support rate set now while you are not working (are you working?)

**Bigrus** · 12-20-2006, 12:55 PM

If you are smart take this advice.

1. Lawyer up now and get a good one start filing paper work and get her off the bank account and credit cards.

2. Hire a P.I get proof of her drinking and driving, and being with other men (usually when they ask to seperate it seems another man is involved or will be soon).

3. I would also make sure to find all document on your healt problems and get those in order so the judge does not rape your settlement and give it to her incase the top two do not work (but they usually do)

**Nastyfoot** · 12-20-2006, 01:14 PM

bitches

**Spaz** · 12-20-2006, 01:16 PM

Originally Posted by Bigrus

If you are smart take this advice.

1. Lawyer up now and get a good one start filing paper work and get her off the bank account and credit cards.

2. Hire a P.I get proof of her drinking and driving, and being with other men (usually when they ask to seperate it seems another man is involved or will be soon).

3. I would also make sure to find all document on your healt problems and get those in order so the judge does not rape your settlement and give it to her incase the top two do not work (but they usually do)

+1...

**Tonik** · 12-20-2006, 01:20 PM

Originally Posted by Bigrus

If you are smart take this advice.

1. Lawyer up now and get a good one start filing paper work and get her off the bank account and credit cards.

2. Hire a P.I get proof of her drinking and driving, and being with other men (usually when they ask to seperate it seems another man is involved or will be soon).

3. I would also make sure to find all document on your healt problems and get those in order so the judge does not rape your settlement and give it to her incase the top two do not work (but they usually do)

Bigrus is the man...

+1

**Toneloc71sr** · 12-20-2006, 01:27 PM

Dude, I know it hard and its going to get harder later, but dont give up! All its gonna take is when you meet the right person, could be next month could be next year, but she will come and then you will thank your ex. It always happens this way. Listen to this radio station http://www.blowmeuptom.com/ He'll change your thinking and you will be packing her bags in no time. Good thing you guys are on good terms. Work out deals on who will keep what cuzz lawyers eat up money!!!! If you play your cards right, you will make out good and have some cash to dine the lil 20ish girlies that you'll have around u. Im 35 and I was dating a 19yr, 20yr, 21yr and a 26yr. One 21yr old I was dating then went on to date a 46yr old guy and moved in

They love STABILITY now a days, try the dating websites. Youre going to trade in a used beater for a new and improved model.

**Danger731** · 12-20-2006, 01:33 PM

She is withholdin, Someone else is tappin that ash. Time to move on , get yourself a hottie 20 something and tear it up !

**Crimson Sin** · 12-20-2006, 03:35 PM

Originally Posted by Bigrus

If you are smart take this advice.

1. Lawyer up now and get a good one start filing paper work and get her off the bank account and credit cards.

2. Hire a P.I get proof of her drinking and driving, and being with other men (usually when they ask to seperate it seems another man is involved or will be soon).

3. I would also make sure to find all document on your healt problems and get those in order so the judge does not rape your settlement and give it to her incase the top two do not work (but they usually do)

LISTEN to this man...
I have been right where you are 8 years ago, just got fired, car was trashed, and I was looking at surgery and my lady of that time says..."We don't want the same things in Life, we need to go our separate ways...." Found out later that she was doing the gas station jockey... You know the type, he could LIFT a ton, but could NOT spell it...
SAVE yourself, your sanity and your kids future and Lawyer UP man..

**Nastyfoot** · 12-20-2006, 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by 01T-TopToy

LISTEN to this man...
I have been right where you are 8 years ago, just got fired, car was trashed, and I was looking at surgery and my lady of that time says..."We don't want the same things in Life, we need to go our separate ways...." Found out later that she was doing the gas station jockey... You know the type, he could LIFT a ton, but could NOT spell it...
SAVE yourself, your sanity and your kids future and Lawyer UP man..

Damn man, that dude was pumping more than just gas huh?

**Trouble maker** · 12-20-2006, 04:59 PM

Thanks for everbody's advice and opinions.This actually has been a long time coming,so the possibility of someone else in the picture is very remote.I never rule out this though..She is one of the type that gets tired early,suffers migraines.All of her time is accounted for,and we communicate on a daily basis.I really don't have a trust issue,its more of a thing where she says she just doesn't have the feelings,and feel that we would be better off seperate.Time will tell,and I think she is making a big mistake.I will consult an attorney tommorrow to find out if she is entitled to a percentage of my work comp claim,but my understanding is if I settle this case out before any legal action is taken,the complete amount will be mine.It will be at this point,if I decide to share any money,etc..but then again,I am not a lawyer.It really sucks,because there will be a time when I am going to be fully released from the doctor,and my work comp benefits will cease.Then there is the no-income period between the settlement time.At this time I will get my disability rating from the doctor,and this will determine what type of job that I can go into.I am lucky that I was making around 1300.00/week for the last 18 years at the same job,because that is how they base my weekly comp(TTD)of 730.00(tax free)I guess I got lucky in that instance.I am not looking forward to any of this,but I've been hitting curveballs for about three years now..Thanks again for everybody's support,and I will keep you posted on my soap opera..I wish these holidays were over...that makes it worse. Jim

**Trouble maker** · 12-20-2006, 05:01 PM

+ it's no fun sitting home daily,and not being able to do nothing,and I have to wear this back brace that looks like half of a stormtrooper costume..

**Trouble maker** · 12-20-2006, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by Toneloc71sr

Dude, I know it hard and its going to get harder later, but dont give up! All its gonna take is when you meet the right person, could be next month could be next year, but she will come and then you will thank your ex. It always happens this way. Listen to this radio station http://www.blowmeuptom.com/ He'll change your thinking and you will be packing her bags in no time. Good thing you guys are on good terms. Work out deals on who will keep what cuzz lawyers eat up money!!!! If you play your cards right, you will make out good and have some cash to dine the lil 20ish girlies that you'll have around u. Im 35 and I was dating a 19yr, 20yr, 21yr and a 26yr. One 21yr old I was dating then went on to date a 46yr old guy and moved in

They love STABILITY now a days, try the dating websites. Youre going to trade in a used beater for a new and improved model.

this one I especially like..LOL...