Its Time Again for Favorite Jokes

**Aerialist** · 05-05-2006, 08:06 AM

One day the court jester insulted the king about the growing bad news of the kingdom.
So the king decided to hang him.
On the day of the hanging, the king had a change of heart and decided to give the court jester another chance.

*Say something funny and I shall grant you amnesty*

Looking up at the rope around his neck the jester stated:

*No news is good noose*

So he hung him anyway.

**97PredatorTA** · 05-05-2006, 01:12 PM

**98LSGUN** · 05-05-2006, 01:29 PM

What do you call the hair in between your grandmothers tits?

Her pussy

**whitelightnin99** · 05-05-2006, 02:23 PM

Originally Posted by 98LSGUN

What do you call the hair in between your grandmothers tits?

Her pussy

**KyleLs1** · 05-05-2006, 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by 98LSGUN

What do you call the hair in between your grandmothers tits?

Her pussy

that just ruined my afternoon

**sassy** · 05-05-2006, 07:07 PM

Q: Whats the difference between a "wife" and a "girlfriend"?

A: About 45lbs.

**apache** · 05-05-2006, 07:27 PM

Originally Posted by sassy

Q: Whats the difference between a "wife" and a "girlfriend"?

A: About 45lbs.

LMAO!! Good one!

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady,

"Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?”
"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replies.

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replies, "We just love the chocolate around them."

**310stanger** · 05-05-2006, 07:48 PM

how do you circumsize a redneck?

kick his sister in the head.

**310stanger** · 05-05-2006, 07:49 PM

how do you know your at a gay picnic?

all the hot dogs taste like shit

**310stanger** · 05-05-2006, 07:50 PM

why do italian men wear mustaches?

so they can look like their mother

**apache** · 05-05-2006, 08:14 PM

How was copper wire invented?

Two Jews found the same penny.

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

**sassy** · 05-05-2006, 09:21 PM

How do you clear a trailor park?

Sale on Southwest

**sassy** · 05-05-2006, 09:22 PM

What do air and sex have in common?

Neither one of them are that big of deal until your not gettin any!!

**spdfrk69** · 05-05-2006, 09:59 PM

Q,,, what did the man say to Micheal Jackson while they were on the beach?

A,,, get outta my sun(son)!:

**Vee 6** · 05-06-2006, 12:42 AM

3 fags were sitting in a jacuzzi when a blob of cum floats to the top.

Then one of the fags says, "Alright, which one of you farted?"

**Vee 6** · 05-06-2006, 12:44 AM

Whats the difference between a bowling ball and pussy?

You can only stick 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

**Kevin91Z** · 05-06-2006, 08:05 AM

Originally Posted by sassy

Q: Whats the difference between a "wife" and a "girlfriend"?

A: About 45lbs.

Why are married men fatter than single men?

A single man sees whats in the fridge and goes to bed. A married man sees whats in the bed and goes to the fridge.

**apache** · 05-06-2006, 10:50 AM

A black man gets shot in the leg and is rushed to the hospital. While the doctors are working on him, they need to cut his jeans off just above the knee to get to the site of the bullet wound.

As they cut and tear off the jeans on one of his legs, to their amazement they see the head of his penis sticking out almost at point where his knee is.

The entire team of doctors and surgeons starts laughing wildly, hollering so loudly it can be heard down the hall and in other rooms of the emergency area!

Suddenly the black man is startled from all the laughter and awakens from his state of unconciousness.

Black man looks around and immediately realizes everyone is laughing at the length of his penis. This makes him both very angry and shocked. With a mean face he blurts out, "Why are you m/f's laughing for, if you got shot your dick would shrink too."

BOOSTD · 05-06-2006, 03:46 PM

Two cannibals are sitting at the table eating a clown. One cannibal looks to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?"

**sassy** · 05-06-2006, 04:13 PM

Originally Posted by Kevin91Z

Why are married men fatter than single men?

A single man sees whats in the fridge and goes to bed. A married man sees whats in the bed and goes to the fridge.

Q: What is the difference between and "husband" and a "boyfriend"?
A: I have found about 3 inches