Hard time dealing with a friends death...

**Red97GTP** · 04-20-2012, 09:12 PM

How do you guys cope?

**blackSS01** · 04-20-2012, 09:29 PM

Remembering all the good memories that I've shared with them over the years. I also like to think they are watching over us all. Plus a lil booze and good friends never hurt to have during this time.

**Z28Thunder** · 04-20-2012, 09:36 PM

I always think of the happy times with said friend. I had a great friend fall asleep at the wheel which killed his fiance as well. I grew up with both of them and they were great people. They would do anything to help someone. They always had a smile on their face. They never fought that I could see and were always happy. That made me think they would not want me sad about the accident. I still think of the good times today. They would not have had it any other way.

**5.0THIS** · 04-20-2012, 09:51 PM

The grieving process is going to be different for everybody. Surround yourself with other friends and family. Focus on what that person would have wanted you to do for them in grieving. Celebrate their life, remember them, and do right by them. Lastly, never forget them. Some amount of grieving is a healthy and necessary thing, but dont let it go too long. At some point you have to let them go and move on with your life.

**blackSS01** · 04-20-2012, 10:12 PM

/endthread

Pretty much doesn't get any better advise then that. Don't be afraid to shed a tear OP

**Schmalgar** · 04-20-2012, 10:49 PM

Indeed. Not being alone probably is the best advice. It's so easy to fall into despair when alone. Keep other friends around you as much as you can, it really does help to talk amongst friends and share memories...

**tnthub** · 04-21-2012, 11:44 AM

When my Mom died I had my head up my butt for a couple of years. No matter what I did or didn't do I just had a hard time dealing. My Dad passed in 1983, and my grandparents are long gone, along with aunts, uncles, and two first cousins with whom I was very close. Several friends from high school and college have passed on and a few years back one of my very good buddies from the drag strip died of prostate cancer.

It never gets any easier.

What I can say is that for me I now don't give a crap about how I deal, as long as I deal with it. If I need to cry I let it out. If I decide I want to see a shrink I go see a shrink. If I want to get depressed and lazy I let that happen (within reason).

What I will not do is all ow my personal grief to negatively affect my family, my friends, my job, or any other core part of my life. If things get too much for me I let other people know about it. At age 53 I have long gotten over my ego in terms of asking for help, time off, or even just asking for company if I think I need it. Grief is something we all deal with from time to time.

I have found that by attending funerals for people I know I can share my grief with others and sometimes have even developed new friendships. Nobody can replace a friend who has died but sometimes the death of a friend can create a common bond with other people who sometimes become friends.

Let it out. Deal with it. On May 5th I will be planting flowers at my parents grave. I may shed a few tears, and "talk" to them while I do it. I might talk about the weather, work, my wife or brother, or anything else that pops into my head. I do not dwell on the sadness but I take spiritual joy in releasing my feelings and have gratitude for all I have been given by those who have passed before me.