Grosser than Gross, joke thread. NWS for text

**02ragtop t/a** · 11-28-2010, 09:10 PM

What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
.........."Say, we DO taste like chicken!"

What did one black lesbian say to the other black lesbian?
.........."You da man!"

What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
.........."fur traders!"

Why are there no lesbian carpet installers?
..........Because they can't lay carpet, they can only munch it!

Two lesbians opened up their own bar: " Ye Olde Tongue and Groove "

What do you call a lesbian with thick fingers?
..........Well Hung!

Why couldn't the lesbian talk?
..........She had a hard-on!

What's a lesbian's favorite Soul-Train song?
.........."Shake That Groove Thang"

Did you hear about the group of lesbians that started their own sneaker line?
..........They called them "Dykies", but they had to send the first 10,000 of them back
..........because the tongues were too short!
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**nhraformula** · 12-01-2010, 09:15 PM

Why are pubic Hairs so curly?
So they don’t poke her eye out.

**AfterYou** · 12-02-2010, 02:01 PM

There is a 10 year old boy named Billy. Billy is hiding under the bed while his older sister Kristen, and her boyfriend Kyle are sitting onto of it, And they both want to have sex, But they want to be quiet because they dont want Billy to hear them... So they come up with a way to make it sound the like they are making sammiches... So "Go faster means Lettuce, and Go slower means Tomato" As the two are having sex, Kristen is yelling, Lettuce, Tomato, Lettuce Tomato!!!!! then all of the sudden while having sex, billy gets up and yells STOP MAKING SO MANY SAMMICHES, YOUR GETTING MAYONAISE ON MY FACE!

**MKevin3** · 12-03-2010, 05:45 PM

What is the worst part about sex?

Getting the blood out of your clown suit.

**Y2KPewterSS** · 12-03-2010, 07:50 PM

x-40oz-x has been removed from the thread.

**02ragtop t/a** · 12-06-2010, 08:42 PM

Rose are reddish,
.......Violets are bluish,
If it weren't for Christ,
.......We'd all be Jewish!

**02ragtop t/a** · 12-15-2010, 08:26 PM

...........A little boy goes up to his father one morning, "Daddy, why does Mommy rub her eyes in the morning when she gets up?"
...........Daddy replied, " Because she doesn't have any balls to scratch!"

...........What do chicks and milk cartons have in common?

...................You have to open the flaps to get to the good stuff!

..........A woman is looking in the display case at the adult bookstore. The clerk comes up to her and says, "Perhaps you would like to look at our most realistic dildo?"
........."Oh, you mean one that is just like a man's penis?", she says.
........."Yes, the clerk says, it's just like the real thing!"
........."Oh", the woman replies, "so after you use it for three minutes, it goes limp?"

**Smkn_TA** · 12-16-2010, 05:14 AM

I walked into the club last weekend, went up to the hottest girl in there. I looked her in the eyes, and said, god your so pretty, your definitely going to get some tonight. She looked at me, half delighted by my compliment and half turned off by it, and asked, how do you know that. I leaned in, and whispered into her ear, because I'm stronger than you.

**Smittro** · 12-16-2010, 06:21 AM

Originally Posted by Smkn_TA

I walked into the club last weekend, went up to the hottest girl in there. I looked her in the eyes, and said, god your so pretty, your definitely going to get some tonight. She looked at me, half delighted by my compliment and half turned off by it, and asked, how do you know that. I leaned in, and whispered into her ear, because I'm stronger than you.

You are a strange young man.. But I lol'd..

**LeadFarmer** · 12-16-2010, 04:10 PM

Originally Posted by Smkn_TA

I walked into the club last weekend, went up to the hottest girl in there. I looked her in the eyes, and said, god your so pretty, your definitely going to get some tonight. She looked at me, half delighted by my compliment and half turned off by it, and asked, how do you know that. I leaned in, and whispered into her ear, because I'm stronger than you.

LOL reaction?

**wheeliE-maxx** · 12-16-2010, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by Smkn_TA

I walked into the club last weekend, went up to the hottest girl in there. I looked her in the eyes, and said, god your so pretty, your definitely going to get some tonight. She looked at me, half delighted by my compliment and half turned off by it, and asked, how do you know that. I leaned in, and whispered into her ear, because I'm stronger than you.

might work irl if you weren't an elf

Originally Posted by LeadFarmer

LOL reaction?

copy paste

**02ragtop t/a** · 12-18-2010, 01:57 PM

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

....... The one that can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts!!

**Smkn_TA** · 12-25-2010, 01:52 PM

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly put his flying skills to the test.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and even Rudolph's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the check ride. Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for?!?" asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this ahead of time," as he leaned over to whisper in Santa's ear, "but you're going to lose an engine on takeoff."

**02ragtop t/a** · 12-30-2010, 09:56 AM

What is 12"s long and white?

..... Nothing!!

**Hi-Po** · 12-30-2010, 10:18 AM

Girlfriend called me a pedophile the other day, I responded...

"That's a pretty big word for a 13 year old!"

**Hi-Po** · 12-30-2010, 10:20 AM

Whats the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly your dick into your girlfriends ass.

**02ragtop t/a** · 01-01-2011, 11:27 AM

A 40 yo man and a 10 yo boy are walking through the woods at night. The little boy says, " I'm scared, mister! "

The man looks down at the boy and says, " YOU'RE scared, I have to walk out of here by myself!!"

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A man gets out of prison after 5 years. His wife and kids pick him up. First thing he says to his wife is, "FF".
She says, " No, EF"
He says, "NO, FF!!"
She says, "Absolutely not, EF!!"
One of the kids in the back seat pipes up, "What the hell are you two talking about?"
Dad replies, "Your mother want to eat first!"

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Ralph and Edna are both patients in a mental hospital. One day while walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph jumps in and sinks like a stone to the bottom, where he stays for a while.
Edna jumps in to save him. She swims to the bottom and pulls him out.
When the hospital director hears about this, he immediately orders Edna's release as he feels that she is now mentally stable.
He finds Edna in her room, "Edna, I have some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is you're being discharged, because you were able to rationally respond to a crisis and save a man's life. The bad news is Ralph hanged himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him"
Edna replied, " Oh, he didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. Now, when do I get out of here?"

**suede** · 01-01-2011, 01:34 PM

bravo

**02ragtop t/a** · 01-14-2011, 04:01 PM

What kind of bees give milk?

BOOBIES !!

**02ragtop t/a** · 03-06-2011, 01:26 PM

I met a hot chick in the park the other night. There was an instant spark between us and she instantly laid down on her back in front of me.

So, as I was making mad, frantic, passionate love to her I thought, " Damn, these tazer's are definately worth the money!"

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A penguin walks into an Irish bar in Antartica and said, " Have you seen my brother ?"
... The bartender replied, " What does he look like?"