Relationship Advice...

[cammed goat]

BAH!! Mind games suck!!! Just enjoy yourself...and that MONSTER SS once complete.

[jiveass]

Quite a few e-mails back n forth yesterday. I only am hearing from her during work hours right now though, which seems a bit odd to me.

been there....found out she was goin home to someone at night....mackin to me during the day...she got stuck into something and wanted a way out.

[35th-ANV-SS]

All scenarios are running through my head...she may very well be with someone and only e-mailing me through work e-mail so her phone is clear...dunno.

Her messages to me don't indicate that she is with anyone though. She's been telling me what all her summer plans are and such.

[cammed goat]

Sounds like she is dropping you hints in a subtle way. I could be wrong, but that's what's coming to my mind. Maybe she is apologizing in a subtle way?

[jiveass]

just ask her straight up...why is she emailing only during the daytime...

[35th-ANV-SS]

Well we just started to talk again after months. She knew I was out of town last weekend so she didn't contact me.

Last night she went and seen The Hangover with some friends of hers.

At this point, I DON'T want to question her motives. I had a history of always questioning shit she did in the past (after we broke up) and that made things worse.

I don't feel now is the time to start questioning her again...it will put me right back to square one.

[jrbonds]

Well we just started to talk again after months. She knew I was out of town last weekend so she didn't contact me.

Last night she went and seen The Hangover with some friends of hers.

At this point, I DON'T want to question her motives. I had a history of always questioning shit she did in the past (after we broke up) and that made things worse.

I don't feel now is the time to start questioning her again...it will put me right back to square one.

I still think she's toying with you, especially after what you have posted just last night and today. I'm a girl, I know. Although I don't think its intentional, just a woman's way of "feeling" you out so to speak.

And why would you question anything she did? Did she cheat on you in the past? Or do you just have trust issues?

[35th-ANV-SS]

I still think she's toying with you, especially after what you have posted just last night and today. I'm a girl, I know. Although I don't think its intentional, just a woman's way of "feeling" you out so to speak.

And why would you question anything she did? Did she cheat on you in the past? Or do you just have trust issues?

The whole time we were together I trusted her 100%. I never questioned anything. She was so into me it never crossed my mind once that she was cheating or would ever cheat for that matter. I know women pretty well after all the one's I've met and being I have a lot of g/f's as friends.

This girl is looking to meet 1 guy, and only 1 guy to spend her life with. She wants to be sure he is long-term material though.

After we broke up and some time went by, I started to question things that didn't make sense to me. At that point though, she owed me nothing in return. We weren't together anymore.

[cammed goat]

Yep. Seeing what's out there and she realized there is NOTHING. She has regrets, it sounds like.

[SSwt00SS]

i wish you the best, i really do.

if i were in your shoes, i would still walk away. you have to many questions and no answers. answers you have the right to hear, know and be explained to you.

i learned so much from my ex. she hurt me the most out of anyone in my life. i finally chose to walk away. it hurt, worse than i thought, but what she did to cause that hurt is something i knew i could not get over in order to be with her.

after i called it off, we relapsed into what you are going through for a couple months until i ended all communication, because all we were doing was going in an endless circle.

***HER ACTIONS AND WORDS WERE NOT MATCHING***

i simply said, "i will not put up with this anymore". i blocked her email, i changed my phone number, i moved apartments (lease ran up during that time), and my job moved to a different building. it was my chance to start fresh. i took advantage of it and found a great woman.

i have been with my current G/F for 4.5 yrs now. someone who puts up with my shit and knows im far from perfect. im just me...

[allbaugh_04]

If things don't work out with her, let me know...i kid, i kid.

I think so far, you are doing the right thing, but don't let her get away if you still feel for her.

[35th-ANV-SS]

She talked to me today for over 2 hrs...ugh!! Haha. I hear ya sweet. That's my biggest concern at this point. I just feeling her out right now. If she really is interested, she'll come to me...she did at the beginning.

Just taking it slow and playing by ear and again, no expectations!

[35th-ANV-SS]

Bonds - what do you mean by "feeling me out"?

Like she is trying to test the waters again to see if she wants to try to get back with me?

[jrbonds]

Bonds - what do you mean by "feeling me out"?

Like she is trying to test the waters again to see if she wants to try to get back with me?

Well, it would be her playing a "game" with you to see if there are any hard feelings, if you have a gf, if you missed her, how you still feel about her, etc., instead of just coming out and asking those questions straight. She is trying to get to know you again and seeing if that spark is still there. Generally, and/or it were me, I would pull this crap for 3 to 6 weeks before I knew if I wanted more, date night, sex, anything in between or if the guy wasn't what I wanted and start cutting back on the communications.

Being that you guys are in your early 30's and haven't been married with kids yet and experience things different than me, as I've already had all that. But whether you're in your teens or at our age, women are generally the same. And my point in this second paragraph was that shes being really cautious about finding "the one" because shes getting older and the time is ticking down on kids and such.

So if she keeps pulling this crap with no resolve in the next few weeks, cut her out of your life. No point in letting yourself get strung along.

[SiggyZ]

I know this is her question to answer, but I think that's what she means. This girl's seeing if you've changed and testing you to see if you'll slip up.

Bonds - what do you mean by "feeling me out"?

Like she is trying to test the waters again to see if she wants to try to get back with me?

[35th-ANV-SS]

So my next question...

I haven't heard from her now in 2 days. We were both on g-mail chat yesterday all day, but we didn't chat like we did the previous day.

Do you think I should contact her, or wait for her to contact me?

I know all of this is subjective, but my best friend is telling me to NOT contact her and do not ask her to do anything. He told me if she is really serious about this and is making a conscious effort to see if I have changed, she will continue to contact me.

Generally speaking, I give outstanding advice when it comes to relationships as I've experienced it all now, but I really am clueless on this one and how to go about it.

I DO NOT WANT TO MESS UP WITH THIS WOMAN...

[SSwt00SS]

do not contact her. wait for her to contact you. for some reason, i feel she is conflicted with something.

[35th-ANV-SS]

Alright guys/girls.

I REALLY do appreciate the feedback here.

I have missed this girl terribly and I know in my heart she's the one I want to be with. I've never met a female who I connected with so deeply on so many levels before. We just had that INSTANT click and our feelings for one another were crazy intense.

As a side note, about a month of not talking she sent my mother a Happy Mother's Day text. It was a few weeks after this that she initially contacted me again.

I will continue to play it cool and go about living my life.

I really do hope she comes around.

She isn't on either dating site anymore, well at least her profile is hidden. I hid mine as well.

[jrbonds]

do not contact her. wait for her to contact you. for some reason, i feel she is conflicted with something.

Agreed!!!!

Do not
Do not
Do not
Do not
Do not initiate any more contact with her!

Wait to hear from her our wall away.

[jiveass]

plentyoffish ftw!