Relationship Advice...

**35th-ANV-SS** · 12-05-2010, 07:05 AM

Originally Posted by c5z28

Op get a hobby and let it take over. Not something like model planes, something active. Dance class, join a team, something physical to get your mind off the stress and something that forces you to be around people. You can understand having idle time to dwell in your thoughts is only making things worse. Right?

Yes. That is the major problem right now. When I go out, I don't think about her THAT much. I was out Friday night with friends and again last night and had a blast.

I am home alone though a lot, and that is when it hits me the most.

Stolen - She was from the bay area...and for the record, she wasn't a "natural" redhead

**nhraformula** · 12-05-2010, 07:51 AM

Originally Posted by 35th-ANV-SS

Yes. That is the major problem right now. When I go out, I don't think about her THAT much. I was out Friday night with friends and again last night and had a blast.

I am home alone though a lot, and that is when it hits me the most.

Stolen - She was from the bay area...and for the record, she wasn't a "natural" redhead

Your in Indiana, buy and shoot lots of fireworks, then grab a rifle and shoot some more, lol

**35th-ANV-SS** · 12-05-2010, 08:03 AM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

Your in Indiana, buy and shoot lots of fireworks, then grab a rifle and shoot some more, lol

Haha, now that you mention that I think going to the shooting range does sound like a good way to have fun and actually let out some frustration. I only own a 9mm S&W, but what the hell. My dad has an arsenal.

I live right next door to an Izaak Walton League and pretty much hear guns going off all the time.

**nhraformula** · 12-05-2010, 08:09 AM

Originally Posted by 35th-ANV-SS

Haha, now that you mention that I think going to the shooting range does sound like a good way to have fun and actually let out some frustration. I only own a 9mm S&W, but what the hell. My dad has an arsenal.

I live right next door to an Izaak Walton League and pretty much hear guns going off all the time.

9MM is a great all around gun plus its somewhat inexpensive to shoot when compared to others.
I would advise you get yourself a nice 22 handgun or this gem (which im getting for x-mas)
http://www.gsg5rifle.com/item/77083_...MP5_Carbi.aspx

**tnthub** · 12-05-2010, 09:02 AM

The best way to get over someone else is to become happy with yourself. Find a new hobby, write a blog, get into a new sport, join a bowling team, donate time to a food bank, try a new online game... Whatever yanks your chain... Discover some new interests.

It is never "easy" to get over someone and after you drink too much and boink some strange things, you are ultimately left with yourself. become happy with yourself and you will be less dependent on others for happiness.

**KMdef9** · 12-05-2010, 09:04 AM

I'd follow the advice that many have given, let her be and find a new one. This has worked for me in the past, and has even given opportunities to get back with past ex's, which I found fun to turn down. So it's always the better option. Not a single txt, e-mail, call or anything.

I can't remember who brought it up with FB lying thing, but when women (and I'm sure guys too) hear about all the new and exciting stuff your up to, they get jealous. I wouldn't necessarily post that your hooking up with randoms, but things like your ski trip and so on. If you can't actual take a vacation, just say your planning a trip to somewhere fun, i.e. Vegas for New Years (which you should anyways). This has also worked out in the past for me, I can't say with FB (b/c I don't have it), but by word of mouth.

I know it'll be hard to get her off your mind, all of my ex's, no matter how it ended were in my head for a while, but be persistent to keeping them out of there pays off. I always have so much work to do (house/car/favors for friends and family) that it helps keep my mind off of it. I'd also suggest keeping friends close and try to not hang out by yourself as much as possible. I have alot of good/close friends that helped keep my mind off of it, so the time when by faster.

Getting your mind off of her is the best possible thing for the both of you, IMO.

**35th-ANV-SS** · 12-05-2010, 09:18 AM

Thanks for the comments guys. I agree with becoming happy with yourself is an absolute must. I need to start committing my time to more constructive things I've been putting off for a while.

I have some project to get done around my house and some cosmetic things I want to do to the Camaro (paint the calipers, clean the engine bay, etc)

I'm going to be putting the things I'm doing on FB regardless and will continue to keep a positive attitude about things.

Everything happens for a reason so they say.

**c5z28** · 12-05-2010, 09:54 AM

Getting rid of facebook is the start for the road to happiness. Seriously..

**KahanaReef** · 12-05-2010, 09:56 AM

Originally Posted by c5z28

Getting rid of facebook is the start for the road to happiness. Seriously..

I would have to agree. I don't understand the need for twitter either

**35th-ANV-SS** · 12-05-2010, 09:56 AM

I don't really go on it that much, if at all through a computer. I usually post through my BB and stay clear of going to other people's pages.

**KMdef9** · 12-05-2010, 10:37 AM

Originally Posted by c5z28

Getting rid of facebook is the start for the road to happiness. Seriously..

x3.

<--- One better, never getting it in the first place.

**35th-ANV-SS** · 12-05-2010, 10:56 AM

FB us a way I stay in touch with many people's lives that don't live around me.

I don't use it as some people do...to write about drama in my life or to talk about my personal business other than exciting things going on in my life. Ex: promotions, vacations, getting a new puppy, etc.

The last time I posted was a week ago and it was about getting NFL tickets and attending my first game.

Don't really see how having FB would make ones life miserable unless they used it as a tool for such.

**tnthub** · 12-05-2010, 11:19 AM

FB is how I stay in touch with my brother and his family, Aunts, Cousins, friends who live out of state... For me, it is purely social and keeping in touch with people in a more personal way.

The twitter thing is simply "work". I am in IT and sometimes twitter can be a useful tool. Same with LinkedIn... Business contacts and connections with very limited crossover to FB.

My clients all are interested in making FB, LinkedIN, and Twitter effective tools for their business models so I utilize these tools myself so I can get paid for helping them figure things out.

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 12-05-2010, 05:08 PM

FB is a good tool to weed out the cheaters...speeds up the process.

**Blackbird WS6** · 12-05-2010, 05:09 PM

Originally Posted by SeVeReDiStOrTiOn

FB is a good tool to weed out the cheaters...speeds up the process.

hahaha good point

**35th-ANV-SS** · 12-06-2010, 06:10 AM

3 days and counting

**jiveass** · 12-06-2010, 06:41 AM

you broke up a few months ago, and were talkin and texting until a week or 2 ago, and now she dont answer you, in my mind, she has found someone to occupy her time, perhaps a new bf or something. im not sayin this to be a dick, but i have been there. and i have also done this to women. id string em along even after the break up until someone new comes along. good luck, and dont let this shit stress you. youre too damn young to be worried about one piece.

**Soltakr** · 12-06-2010, 08:32 AM

-My heart goes out to you OP. There is some solid advise given here. I was in a 8 year relationship that ended and it almost ruined me. Not going to get into that but I understand what your going through. Like others said, making yourself happy is right move. But know that it is OK to feel sad and relaps IS a part of recovery. Don't bother putting a time line on it. That's pointless because everyone is different. But time is your friend if you let it be.

- How to get the girl back? Dude, that's why songs are written. Nobody has that answer. Heartbreak is a required course for adulthood. Believe it or not, NOW is a great time in your life. Your scope on the world has changed and you're learning more about yourself. If you make the healthy choices, in the end, you'll be better and your next relationship will be even richier....or you'll turn into a pyscho and my department will have to take you down.

-There is a great book you should read called "Men are from Mars, Women are from Planet Stupid"

**35th-ANV-SS** · 12-06-2010, 09:43 AM

Originally Posted by jiveass

you broke up a few months ago, and were talkin and texting until a week or 2 ago, and now she dont answer you, in my mind, she has found someone to occupy her time, perhaps a new bf or something. im not sayin this to be a dick, but i have been there. and i have also done this to women. id string em along even after the break up until someone new comes along. good luck, and dont let this shit stress you. youre too damn young to be worried about one piece.

She never led me on in any fashion. She made it clear she wanted time apart and she was the one who wanted to try to just be friends several months ago.

Recently I said some stupid shit again and that is when the communication totally stopped.

She is active on a dating site I'm on. When I log in to it and do random searches her profile always comes up and it shows when she's been online, which has been almost everyday, multiple times a day.

She is definitely looking for someone, but she isn't with anyone as far as an actual relationship goes.

She was in Cali when this happened. I haven't tried to contact her since she's been back in the area.

**stolenthunder** · 12-06-2010, 09:43 AM

Originally Posted by 35th-ANV-SS

3 days and counting

No counting allowed. That's like watching the clock all day while things are slow at work. Re-assign the conscious to something else, let the sub-conscious work this one out for you. Don't think. Go work on your car.