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09-23-2010, 10:39 AM #1
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
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- Crystal Lake IL
- Age
- 47
- Posts
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Pewter- 2001 Camaro Z28 M6
Grosser than Gross, joke thread. NWS for text
Since my Dirty Nasty Offensive Joke Thread was locked up and forgotten about like the child you never wanted!! due to someone being offended.
Time for a new thread..
All of us have heard Grosser than Gross jokes, so lets hear them.
!!!DISCLAIMER IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED DONT PROCEDE!!!
***grosser then gross jokes, can be nasty***
I will start with some old school classics..
Whats grosser than gross?
Kissing your grandmother and she slips you the tongue
Whats grosser than that?
When your grandfather does it
Whats grosser than gross?
Finding 10 dead babies in a tree
Whats grosser than that?
One dead baby in 10 trees
What's grosser than gross?
Three dead babies in one trash can.
What's grosser than that?
One dead baby in three trash cans.
What's grosser than gross?
A trash can full of dead babies.
What's grosser than that?
A baby at the bottom trying to eat it's way out.
What's even grosser than that?
He goes back for seconds.
What grosser than gross?
When the head cheerleader does the splits and 5 class rings fall out.
Whats even grosser than that?
When one ring is her brothers.
You know what's grosser than gross?
Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
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09-23-2010, 12:45 PM #2
I got one to put in for:
How many dead babies does it take to cover a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
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09-23-2010, 02:24 PM #3
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
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- Milwaukee
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Liquid Red- 2008 Pontiac G8 GT
What's funnier than a dead baby? A down syndrome baby sitting next to it.
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09-23-2010, 02:32 PM #4
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09-23-2010, 04:27 PM #5
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09-23-2010, 04:35 PM #6
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09-23-2010, 04:42 PM #7
lol
I just wanna know what I can post without getting in trouble
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09-23-2010, 04:49 PM #8
It's a sticky at the top of the AAG forum index.
That said,
One night, I was in bed, beating my wife, when phone ring. I beat
phone, then pick it up. I hear voice. Voice says;
"What you do with my daughter?!"
I turn to wife and demand to know why her father interrupt me beating
her. But she say, her father is dead!
Then, KGB break into house and arrest me for illegal possession of phone.
Such is life in Moscow.
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09-23-2010, 04:52 PM #9
Toys are made by loyal factory for amusement of the children of the motherland.
Toys are of baby, and have realistic crying function.
Soon, it becomes difficult to distinguish baby and toy.
Both are burned for warmth.
Such is life in mother Russia
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09-23-2010, 04:53 PM #10
I check into small hotel a few kilometers from Kiev. It is late. I am tired. I tell woman at desk I want a room. She tells me room number and give key. "But one more thing comrade; there is one room without number and always lock. Don't even peek in there." I take key and go to room to sleep.
Night comes and I hear trickling of water. It comes from the room across. I cannot sleep so I open door. It is coming from room with no number. I pound on door. No response. I look in keyhole. I see nothing except red.
Water still trickling. I go down to front desk to complain. "By the way who is in that room?" She look at me and begin to tell story.
There was woman in there. Murdered by her husband. Skin all white, except her eyes, which were red.
I tell her I don't give a shit. Stop the water trickling or give me refund. She gave me 100 ruble credit and free breakfast.
Such is life in Moscow
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09-23-2010, 04:55 PM #11
Once I hear story about girl in Chaplygin. She was asleep in her bed, when she feel lick on her hand. She thinks it is dog and goes to sleep. Next morning, she finds note on dresser with dead head of dog. It says "Capitalists can lick too." She screams.
The girl was sent for re-education in Estonia, her parents sent to labor in Siberia. One must always be watchful and never let American spies into one's house.
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09-23-2010, 04:56 PM #12
Is said in Stalingrad, in poor sector where prole lives, there is house. If comrade will knock on door, it will open. Beautiful girl lead comrade inside by hand. She have sexy bottom if comrade thinks like American pig.
She lead comrade deep in to the house, past door with secret sign for getting in, make promise of lustful treachery in exchange for ruble, surpassing comrade's love for motherland! Comrade rejoices.
She-bitch kills comrade. She is vile serpent from the dark places and feasts on steaming entrails. This is proper punishment for one who would compete with glorious government rape camps.
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09-23-2010, 04:59 PM #13
Soviet scientists conducting experiment about comrade test subjects following squares with eyes across screen. It being curious how big variations on landscape being unnoticed by comrade test subject following square on the screen. Similarity is found on how the Capitalist is now entering your room as you are reading this.
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09-23-2010, 05:01 PM #14
Try this. Turn off music. Turn off TV. If you are greedy capitalist and have machine, turn off computer. Go to next room, and sit, do not dance, do not drink, be as quiet as Jew during pogrom. Does Comrade Russian hear sound? Itsy bitsy ringing? Glorious People say it is brain making up a sound to explain reason why Russian is not drinking or dancing.
People lied.
Silly Americans can not tell you what making sound, Smart Russians can because are not silly bourgeoise with book and film.
It is wail of gypsy. If gypsy is planning to steal item in house, evil gypsy wail alerts holy Russian Orthodox Church. Find gypsy, hit gypsy with hand, then drink Vodka until sound go away. Then hit gypsy child until child is no longer gypsy.
Such is life for gypsy in Russia.
And no amount of running will save you.
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09-23-2010, 05:03 PM #15
Russian man is at work alone. Copy machine begins making copies. Man did not make copies. He goes to look. Copies show him dead at desk.
He curses bad Swedish machines. Shoots copier, and begins making all copies by hand.
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09-23-2010, 06:45 PM #16
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09-24-2010, 05:10 AM #17
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09-24-2010, 05:31 AM #18
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09-24-2010, 05:32 AM #19
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
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- Charleston, SC
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- 35
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- 321
2010 Nissan Sentra SR dd- 2001 Pontiac Trans Am WS6
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
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09-24-2010, 05:33 AM #20
- Join Date
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- Charleston, SC
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2010 Nissan Sentra SR dd- 2001 Pontiac Trans Am WS6
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
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