Deleted text messages

**Art99SS** · 08-31-2010, 10:26 AM

We've been together 13 years, married 8 and have a 5 year old son. We have been going through alot financially, emotionally and our marriage has been strained latley. I am not rushing to any decisions just yet. I always thought if she ever cheated on me that I would be gone in a flash but her I am and dont know what I am going to do yet.

**0rion** · 08-31-2010, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by Y2KPewterSS

Deep down, you already know the answer, there really is no need to see those messages. Start the divorce process.

Originally Posted by Detroit Power

From a guy that's been there, please trust me on this. If you already know for a fact she cheated, the details will not help you....they'll only hurt you more. Better off not knowing.

Good luck man. Time to lawyer up.

listen to these guys.....been down that road myself with my first bitch of a wife. Couple things you need to do. You need to mentally prepare and lay 100% of the blame on her. It's all her.....not you. She'll try to twist it into being your fault but you have to believe that she made that decision...not you.
Since you're laid off she's probably going to be able to "out lawyer" you. That means she'll most likely get whatever she wants of the stuff you guys have. Let her have it. I kept everything from my first wife and ended up selling or giving it all away. The only thing it does is remind you of her for months afterwards. Let her have that issue. Monetarily though if you can cornhole cash under a mattress start doing that right away before you even say anything to her about a divorce. As soon as it's clear you're wanting a divorce she's gonna transform into the biggest bitch you've ever laid eyes on. Good luck and keep your chin up. It's gonna get much worse before it gets better but I can promise you it gets a lot better. Cheaters are as bad as thieves. Have no use for either group.....shows severe lack of character. I wouldn't trade the wife I have now for 10 of the first one.

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 08-31-2010, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by Art99SS

Murder? Mmm... J/k Good thing is, we are going through bankruptcy, since I got laid off. The F'en guy is almost half my size(Im 6foot 230ish). Cant kick his ass Ill probably kill him. Just found out Sexting, that I didnt know about lead to infidelity this past Saturday. I'm lost.

I know how you feel but really it's not the guys fault he's just trying to get some ass. I'm sure he knows she's married and he's a complete douche for that but don't take it personal...if it wasn't him it would be someone else. She's not worth it bro.

Originally Posted by 0rion

Cheaters are as bad as thieves. Have no use for either group.....shows severe lack of character.

Damn skippy...cheaters/liars/thieves are all the same IMO. They all start as one and eventually become all three.

**korndawg** · 08-31-2010, 02:40 PM

Once a cheater, always a cheater. If you give her a pass this time, she's just gonna do it again.

**Art99SS** · 08-31-2010, 03:51 PM

Thanks for all the advise guys. I will take it all to heart. About this guy, I kind of dont blame him because he is a guy and she led him on, but he knows she is married and he knows me. Should I do the macho thing and confront him, to make myself feel better, or let it be?

**Y2KPewterSS** · 08-31-2010, 04:13 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

listen to these guys.....been down that road myself with my first bitch of a wife. Couple things you need to do. You need to mentally prepare and lay 100% of the blame on her. It's all her.....not you. She'll try to twist it into being your fault but you have to believe that she made that decision...not you.
Since you're laid off she's probably going to be able to "out lawyer" you. That means she'll most likely get whatever she wants of the stuff you guys have. Let her have it. I kept everything from my first wife and ended up selling or giving it all away. The only thing it does is remind you of her for months afterwards. Let her have that issue. Monetarily though if you can cornhole cash under a mattress start doing that right away before you even say anything to her about a divorce. As soon as it's clear you're wanting a divorce she's gonna transform into the biggest bitch you've ever laid eyes on. Good luck and keep your chin up. It's gonna get much worse before it gets better but I can promise you it gets a lot better. Cheaters are as bad as thieves. Have no use for either group.....shows severe lack of character. I wouldn't trade the wife I have now for 10 of the first one.

Whole hearted truth!

Originally Posted by korndawg

Once a cheater, always a cheater. If you give her a pass this time, she's just gonna do it again.

to the extreme!

Originally Posted by Art99SS

Thanks for all the advise guys. I will take it all to heart. About this guy, I kind of dont blame him because he is a guy and she led him on, but he knows she is married and he knows me. Should I do the macho thing and confront him, to make myself feel better, or let it be?

Fuck no! Its going to make you look like an idiot, like you give a damn about it all and possibly land you in legal problems(jail for assault etc.). He has nothing to do with the matter. Its all on her my man. The guilt is 100% on her. You are not married to him, why give a damn what he did. If anything, thank him, he has done you a favor. He revealed the true character of your wife.

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 08-31-2010, 04:57 PM

Originally Posted by Art99SS

Should I do the macho thing and confront him, to make myself feel better, or let it be?

Is SHE worth it? Is she worth not being there to turn your son into a good man because you lost your temper and killed this guy...or hurt him so bad you're a felon and you won't see your son for years. Only you can answer that but most would say hell fucking no.

Concentrate on making yourself better for you and your son. It'll piss her off knowing you're doing so good and you'll feel better at the same time. Let her bounce from guy to guy while drowning in her own bullshit because that's where she belongs bro.

**0rion** · 08-31-2010, 05:01 PM

Originally Posted by Art99SS

Thanks for all the advise guys. I will take it all to heart. About this guy, I kind of dont blame him because he is a guy and she led him on, but he knows she is married and he knows me. Should I do the macho thing and confront him, to make myself feel better, or let it be?

just let it be. Nothing good can come out of it and no reason to even bother. So what if he knew she was married. He didn't take the vows...she did. The worst thing you can do to him is run her ass off and then she'll land in his lap. Then she becomes his problem and that's the worst thing you can do to him.

**korndawg** · 08-31-2010, 05:20 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

just let it be. Nothing good can come out of it and no reason to even bother. So what if he knew she was married. He didn't take the vows...she did. The worst thing you can do to him is run her ass off and then she'll land in his lap. Then she becomes his problem and that's the worst thing you can do to him.

Exactly. I've been in that guys position twice. Not proud of it, but it's happened. The married woman is the one who chooses to cheat and its not my fault (his) that they chose to do so. My situation is prolly a lil different, cuz the hubbys were HUGE asshole and divorce was imminent anyways, but still. Can people change? I'm not sure. I've lost hope in humanity. You're better off just cutting your losses now and moving on to better things. Save yourself more misery down the road. Don't blame the other guy. He didst make her cheat, and if it wasn't with him, she would have just found someone else to cheat with.

**TARZAN** · 08-31-2010, 05:38 PM

Don't lie....you deleted a nude pic and regret it.

-Will

**pajeff02** · 08-31-2010, 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by SScott

Infidelity is no longer grounds for a divorce nor is it worth anything in court.

To the contrary, it is grounds for divorce and may make a difference on the division. Granted, it is all too common these days and the courts no longer get as excited about it as they used to.

In answer to the OP's original question -- I tried to get text messages from Verizon for use in a case. Next to impossible as they purge everything from storage every 3-4 days. By the time you get a subpoena signed and served the messages are already gone.

**ls1camino** · 08-31-2010, 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by pajeff02

To the contrary, it is grounds for divorce and may make a difference on the division. Granted, it is all too common these days and the courts no longer get as excited about it as they used to.

In answer to the OP's original question -- I tried to get text messages from Verizon for use in a case. Next to impossible as they purge everything from storage every 3-4 days. By the time you get a subpoena signed and served the messages are already gone.

You're useful to have around sometimes...just saying.

**67CamaroRSSS** · 08-31-2010, 06:37 PM

To the MODS P & Orion: Didn't both of you state recently that in threads of this type it's "Pics or Ban"?

Well????

To the OP: I sympathize with ya bro. Been married and divorced 2x. Currently living the life of a free and happy man....

**walterchang** · 08-31-2010, 06:37 PM

Set her ass up, if you can grab her phone, reprogram your number as his number. This would work with an iPhone, don't know about others, it would only work if he is a contact though. If that is possible start sending her dirty texts. Oh you would need to remove your number from her contact list.

In theory it could work?

**86 IROC-Z** · 08-31-2010, 06:41 PM

Originally Posted by walterchang

Set her ass up, if you can grab her phone, reprogram your number as his number. This would work with an iPhone, don't know about others, it would only work if he is a contact though. If that is possible start sending her dirty texts. Oh you would need to remove your number from her contact list.

In theory it could work?

shit if you want to go to that trouble, might as well just clone the phone.

Your own handset that holds the cloned sim card will give you all text messages sent to the number, and you can even listen in on calls that are happening in real time.

**pajeff02** · 08-31-2010, 06:45 PM

Originally Posted by ls1camino

You're useful to have around sometimes...just saying.

Always happy to help... but I much prefer automotive related questions.

**0rion** · 08-31-2010, 06:47 PM

Originally Posted by 67CamaroRSSS

To the MODS P & Orion: Didn't both of you state recently that in threads of this type it's "Pics or Ban"?

Well????

To the OP: I sympathize with ya bro. Been married and divorced 2x. Currently living the life of a free and happy man....

not really in that category I believe.......the ones that earn a thread ban are "met this hot chick" or "blah blah is hot". A text message thread really doesn't fall into that same category. Plus.....he never said she was hot or even good looking so you might wanna be careful what you wish for.

**TLS_Addict** · 08-31-2010, 06:51 PM

If she cheated call it a day and start the papers.

A friend of mines brother processed papers over the computer about two weeks ago....lol He got up and was pissed and had enough of it. I find it quite funny what he did.

I am sorry to hear this OP, with a kid involved its tough to make the right decision. Good luck.

**TLS_Addict** · 08-31-2010, 06:53 PM

Originally Posted by 86 IROC-Z

shit if you want to go to that trouble, might as well just clone the phone.

Your own handset that holds the cloned sim card will give you all text messages sent to the number, and you can even listen in on calls that are happening in real time.

Another idea would be to get another cell phone and call AT&T and get the number swapped to the new phone and then text those numbers and see what happens. It takes about 15 minutes to do........

**Y2KPewterSS** · 08-31-2010, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by 67CamaroRSSS

To the MODS P & Orion: Didn't both of you state recently that in threads of this type it's "Pics or Ban"?

Well????

To the OP: I sympathize with ya bro. Been married and divorced 2x. Currently living the life of a free and happy man....

Different type of scenario like Orion stated.