What would you do in this situation

**jad628** · 04-25-2008, 11:08 AM

Originally Posted by 00 formula

I realize that and I have seen the flip side of the coin where the guy was falsely accused.

In this case the guy who she was trying to report was already a convicted child molester so I was extremely upset when the police officer she spoke with made her feel like the criminal.

It's reasons like the above that sometimes I fully believe that you need to take the law in to your own hands. I by all means don't expect you to agree with that statement

It might surprise you then to know that I for one feel that more people should do MORE than just let the law handle it. I'm a realist, and I know that law enforcement can't always do what has to be done, or before it's too late.

I'm not advocating vigilantism, but I do think people need to better protect themselves as the first - and best - line of defense.

**00 formula** · 04-25-2008, 12:27 PM

Originally Posted by jad628

It might surprise you then to know that I for one feel that more people should do MORE than just let the law handle it. I'm a realist, and I know that law enforcement can't always do what has to be done, or before it's too late.

I'm not advocating vigilantism, but I do think people need to better protect themselves as the first - and best - line of defense.

So would wooping the guys a$$ after he beats on a girl fall in to the second paragraph?

**JHayesLS1** · 04-25-2008, 12:32 PM

I talked to her today she said he hasn't spoken to her at all today. He usually text's her with something to tell me. The longer he waits the worse it'll be for him. I'm still MMA training but he doesn't know that

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 04-25-2008, 07:04 PM

I'd leave it alone, unless you wanna go to jail and have a record your whole life over something that isn't your business...and for a chic you probably won't even be in contact with in a few years.

Now if he hit her in your presence then you could beat his ass and get away with it...you have the right to defend yourself and others. Even that has boundaries though...

**MysticZ28** · 04-26-2008, 03:55 PM

Originally Posted by JHayesLS1

This guy that works with one of my friends literally hit her. He thinks he is the shit and she wouldn't go out with him and he sunk to the level of punching her. She has a bruise on her shoulder the size of a baseball. ....

She works with the guy??? This is so fucking simple it's ridicules ... No cops necessary ... she just goes to her employer and has him fired. If the employer, doesn't, she just gets a good attorney and files a hostile work environment suit.

If it's as you say, this pretty much open and shut ... even if the kid's parents own the company, they have to can him or they'll pay through the nose.

**JHayesLS1** · 04-26-2008, 04:28 PM

I brought that up to her already but she's scared to say anything. She said she put in her notice and wants to just forget she was ever there

**MysticZ28** · 04-27-2008, 04:13 PM

Originally Posted by JHayesLS1

I brought that up to her already but she's scared to say anything. She said she put in her notice and wants to just forget she was ever there

Then she doesn't have to say anything to her employer ... go directly to an attorney.

But trust me, the employer will take her side in a heart beat, if she goes to them first ... the employer knows that if there is a lawsuit and they refused to take action, they'll be lucky if they get out with only 6 figures - particularly since it involved physical assault.

One other point ... what's she afraid of? Losing her job? She's quitting anyway.

**jad628** · 04-28-2008, 03:27 AM

Originally Posted by 00 formula

So would wooping the guys a$$ after he beats on a girl fall in to the second paragraph?

In some very specific cases, yes.

Too many requirements for me to list though.

**00 formula** · 04-28-2008, 05:40 AM

Originally Posted by jad628

In some very specific cases, yes.

Too many requirements for me to list though.

See and that's the difference, personally I don't have that many requirements if the guy hits a woman (especially if the woman is a friend or some one close to me, ok so that in itself being a requirement).

**jad628** · 04-28-2008, 05:54 AM

Originally Posted by 00 formula

See and that's the difference, personally I don't have that many requirements if the guy hits a woman (especially if the woman is a friend or some one close to me, ok so that in itself being a requirement).

Number one has been covered though:

Is she asking for your help?

Don't be too quick to assume she wants you to intervene, it's still her choice.

After that is confirmed, you can proceed in different ways. Some of those choices ignore the possibility of criminal charges, some don't. My advice is be very careful before you risk your own freedom.

I'm not saying I feel any different about the situation than you do, but I have seen how the mindset of some "victims" changes as a little time passes. Imagine two months after a "fight" you see her walking arm-in-arm with the guy? Guess who she will "favor" then. It happens dude, all the time.

**00 formula** · 04-28-2008, 06:07 AM

Originally Posted by jad628

Number one has been covered though:

Is she asking for your help?

Don't be too quick to assume she wants you to intervene, it's still her choice.

After that is confirmed, you can proceed in different ways. Some of those choices ignore the possibility of criminal charges, some don't. My advice is be very careful before you risk your own freedom.

I'm not saying I feel any different about the situation than you do, but I have seen how the mindset of some "victims" changes as a little time passes. Imagine two months after a "fight" you see her walking arm-in-arm with the guy? Guess who she will "favor" then. It happens dude, all the time.

True it can happen but in that case screw them, anything beyond the initial point they are asking for it. In which case I don't need the drama of associating myself with them any further.

I wouldn't kick the guy's a$$ to win over the favor of the girl, more so because he deserves it for beating on a girl and/or hurting someone I care about.

**00 formula** · 04-28-2008, 06:10 AM

To add to that, I realize that there are situations where you can't just kick the guy's a$$ but in the scenario listed in this thread. He should have beat the hell out of him, as opposed to just talking shit to the guy and opening the girl up to even more harrasment because of it.

**jad628** · 04-28-2008, 06:15 AM

Originally Posted by 00 formula

To add to that, I realize that there are situations where you can't just kick the guy's a$$ but in the scenario listed in this thread. He should have beat the hell out of him, as opposed to just talking shit to the guy and opening the girl up to even more harrasment because of it.

All good points. Still, the end results have to include what the woman feels is appropriate.

This is gonna sound bad, but too many times I've seen the woman turn on the guy who was chivalrous. Always, ALWAYS, consider that. If the guy is willing to accept the results - good or bad - to do what he feels is right, more power to him. Just don't feel you get a guarantee that all parties will agree with that....especially months later.

**86 IROC-Z** · 04-28-2008, 06:20 AM

Who cares. If she wants to continue being the reason guys think it's okay to hit women, so be it. She has to actually want help before anyone can help her.

**00 formula** · 04-28-2008, 06:29 AM

Originally Posted by jad628

All good points. Still, the end results have to include what the woman feels is appropriate.

This is gonna sound bad, but too many times I've seen the woman turn on the guy who was chivalrous. Always, ALWAYS, consider that. If the guy is willing to accept the results - good or bad - to do what he feels is right, more power to him. Just don't feel you get a guarantee that all parties will agree with that....especially months later.

Agreed, I like to do what I feel is right. there is never a guarantee on the outcome do to action or inaction (as much as I should, I don't usually care about others opinions on my actions).

I've seen an incident where a girl was sexually assaulted by someone she knew (this is one of the cop scenarios I listed earlier). She was a friend of mine but had a boy friend (I would expect him to deal with it).

Long story short, she told him she didn't want him to react so he doesn't get in trouble, so he didn't (I ended up taking care of it). She very shortly after dumped him (and tried to hook up with me, because she fealt like I was there for her).

**00 formula** · 04-28-2008, 06:31 AM

Originally Posted by 86 IROC-Z

Who cares. If she wants to continue being the reason guys think it's okay to hit women, so be it. She has to actually want help before anyone can help her.

Yea but she isn't sticking around for the beating, she's trying to get away and is just scared to report him. If this was a domestic I'd be more inclined to agree, but this isn't.

**jad628** · 04-28-2008, 06:33 AM

Originally Posted by 00 formula

Agreed, I like to do what I feel is right. there is never a guarantee on the outcome do to action or inaction (as much as I should, I don't usually care about others opinions on my actions).

I've seen an incident where a girl was sexually assaulted by someone she knew (this is one of the cop scenarios I listed earlier). She was a friend of mine but had a boy friend (I would expect him to deal with it).

Long story short, she told him she didn't want him to react so he doesn't get in trouble, so he didn't (I ended up taking care of it). She very shortly after dumped him (and tried to hook up with me, because she fealt like I was there for her).

Which is a good example of the guy doing exactly what his girlfriend asked him to do, and then she dumps him. Go figure.

That's why guys have to be exceedingly careful in these situations. A woman who says one thing - but wants another - is the bane of a man's existence. And brother, there are a LOT of them.

**Nastyfoot** · 04-28-2008, 06:35 AM

what does every woman in a womans shelter have in common?

They didn't listen.

**00 formula** · 04-28-2008, 06:37 AM

Originally Posted by jad628

Which is a good example of the guy doing exactly what his girlfriend asked him to do, and then she dumps him. Go figure.

That's why guys have to be exceedingly careful in these situations. A woman who says one thing - but wants another - is the bane of a man's existence. And brother, there are a LOT of them.

In that case he was an idiot because if someone tries (or succeeds) to rape my girlfriend then at best they are going to the hospital and I'm going to jail, I don't give a damn as to what she wants.

As you said, most women have no clue what they want, especially during times of stress (which creates additional stress for us).

**jad628** · 04-28-2008, 06:47 AM

Originally Posted by 00 formula

In that case he was an idiot because if someone tries (or succeeds) to rape my girlfriend then at best they are going to the hospital and I'm going to jail, I don't give a damn as to what she wants.

As you said, most women have no clue what they want, especially during times of stress (which creates additional stress for us).

But look at it MONTHS later. She breaks up with him and tries to hook up with you because you were "there" for her.

Let's say b/f did go to that guy's ass. Would she still be with him, and then the biggest question of all:

Do you really think that the other guy "raped" her, or was it something else like she was caught cheating and came up with a story?

I'm not saying that happened, but I can tell you that I've lost count of how many times that was the case and I personally know of the real story. Now add "rape" to non-payment for whores and you are in the thousands, if not tens of thousands of BS cases.

A guy has to be careful is what I'm saying.

But physical abuse is another story, altogether.