Looks like Divorce is inevitable

[jad628]

98-LS1,

Glad to hear things are improving. Good for you trying to work it out. I've been married for twenty-two years and it hasn't always been rosey. Still, I wouldn't trade her for any other woman. I hope she reciprocates.


I wasn't sure about your kid situation. The one steadfast rule I have is that my kids will not be abused by anyone, me and the wife included. It's my opinion that when a parent abuses their own child they are capable of anything. That's when I see a relationship going south.

Forgive and forget is nonsense. Forgiving her is a good thing, but don't forget it. Neither should she. Blowing it off as nothing will make it nothing (then the act becomes repetitve). It was destructive and vindictive to trash your car like that. If she understands that, it's a lesson she should carry the rest of her life. You only get so many of those. If that's the case, move on and enjoy your time together.

Good luck to both of you,

John

[tnthub]

When my first wife and I were divorced it was my fault. I left because if I tried to be a Dad to her two girls I "had no right" and if I didn't try and be a Dad to her two girls then "I was not being responsible". There was a lot of other crap, like her maxing out the credit cards, spending child support from her ex-husband on useless stuff, sending her girls out to visit their real Dad without gloves and coats in the winter (so he would buy them new ones), and without bathing suits when they were going to the beach, but the bottom line was that as long as I was there, regardless of my intent, the lives of her two kids were going to be more screwed up than they would be if I were not there.

My first wife was "volatile". She would scream and throw things when she was angry. One time she slammed my jacket in the door of my own truck, locked the door, and tried to drag me down the main street in town. There is always more to the story, but when a buddy of mine caught her on her knees with two football players at a party one night that was it...

There are times when it is appropriate to call it over.

That said, my current wife of 15 years and I are great. I cannot think of a single day, even when she is at her worst, that the thought of not being with her has ever seriously entered my head. If she went crazy I would spend my life doing the best I could to help, no matter what. That is what I signed up for. Had my first wife not been emotionally abusing her daughters (in my opinion), I would have stayed with her regardless of her shortcomings.