Tales of Orion

[KahanaReef]

Hey, I'm just trying to buy some time while I search for more jokes

Cut me some slack!

[KahanaReef]

Sarge is on a business trip and is staying at a hotel. He goes down to the desk clerk and says " Where would I go to get fu*ked?" The desk clerk says " Go across the street to the apt. building and go up to the 3rd floor and knock on room 3G."
Sarge goes across the street and goes to room 3G and knocks. A deep male voice from inside the room says " What do you want?" Sarge says " I want to get fu*ked." The voice says " Slide $20 under the door." So he does and he waits and nothing happens and he waits a little bit more and still nothing. He knocks on the door again and the same male voice says " What do you want?" Sarge says " I want to get fu*ked" and the male voice says " Again?"

...

[0rion]

Nhrafirebird had never had any so a bunch of us got together and chipped in and bought him a hooker. He goes up to the hotel room and gives the hooker the money and she says " Ok, what do you want? Do you want regular, 69, Ragin' Rodeo, wheel barrow....which one do you want?" Nhra says " Ma'am, this is my first time and I don't know one from the other." The hooker says " Well son, I'm a pro so you have to tell me which one you want. Do you want regular, 69, Ragin' Rodeo, or the wheel barrow?" Nhra says "What was that second one you said?" and she says "69". He says "I'll take that one."
She gets in position and they start at it. A few minutes in and the hooker farts. I mean a peel the pain kinda fart. Nhra is about to yak but he keeps going. A few more minutes go by and the hooker farts again..... I mean a nasty one. Nhra gets up and says " Ma'am, I know you're a professional and know what you're doing but I just can't handle 67 more of them nasty ass things."

[0rion]

Nhrafirebird goes to a cat house and pulls one of the girs to the side. He says " I'll give you $100 if you do it my way one time." The girl says " We don't do nothing here for $100." So he says " Alright, I'll give you $200 if you do it my way just one time." She says " Ain't no telling what kinda crazy stuff you're gonna pull. I won't do it for $200." He says " Fine, I'll give you $400 if you do it my way one time." She says " There ain't nothing I won't do for $400." so they go upstairs.
He gets on her and starts doing it just normal. A few minutes into it she says " What is your way?" He says " On credit."

[96z28]

One evening his family brings Sarge to a nursing home and leaves him, hoping he will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe him, feed him a tasty breakfast, and set him in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. Sarge seems OK, but after a while he slowly starts to fall over sideways in his chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch him and straighten him up. Again he seems OK, but after a while he starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring him back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how Sarge is adjusting to his new home. "So Sarge, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" They ask. "It's pretty nice," he replies. "Except they won't let you fart"