Love or Happiness?

**Kmcrlyn** · 03-11-2007, 01:01 PM

Originally Posted by zbizkit

She is smart, she make me laugh, We have fun together, she is determined, she wants the same things out of life that I do, oh yeah and I can speak to her parents with out a translator. I am not sure what to do about the Hispanic girl. As we move further down the road it seems that our views are completely different. She comes from a different world than me. I am not sure if these differences are enough to cause problems down the road but we may see.

Defintely not. I am sorry to say she deserves better than someone who is unsure that they want to be with them. I am disappointed in myself and am really hating on myself right now. I really didn't think I was that kind of person. Guess I am. I think it also goes to show that I still want to play and am not mature or ready for a serious relationship. I think right now i just want to have fun but with out ruining things with my current g/f. I think I am going to just take a break a see what happens. who the eff knows. I'll just spend my weekend getting the camaro ready for car season.

Well one thing that is perfectly clear for you is that you already have ruined your current relationship. I hope "take a break" means you'll be breaking up with your current girlfriend. You conveniently went from saying you could see yourself being happy with her to finding all kinds of obstacles to your staying together once you "saw" your ex. Don't kid yourself. You're right - perhaps youre not a bad person but you certainly are showing zero respect for someone who seems to deserve nothing short of your total honesty and respect. You dont deserve and are not ready for a committed relationship with your current gf. Hate to be the one to tell you but - very seldom does an old relationship turn out better than the first time around. All the things that were wrong the first time only have new problems to compound it the second time around. I would try to make better decisions from now on. And at least do the next best thing by your current girlfriend and cut her lose so you can "have fun". By the way - none of this is advice. This is all obvious.

**nhraformula** · 03-11-2007, 01:09 PM

Originally Posted by Kmcrlyn

Well one thing that is perfectly clear for you is that you already have ruined your current relationship. I hope "take a break" means you'll be breaking up with your current girlfriend. You conveniently went from saying you could see yourself being happy with her to finding all kinds of obstacles to your staying together once you "saw" your ex. Don't kid yourself. You're right - perhaps youre not a bad person but you certainly are showing zero respect for someone who seems to deserve nothing short of your total honesty and respect. You dont deserve and are not ready for a committed relationship with your current gf. Hate to be the one to tell you but - very seldom does an old relationship turn out better than the first time around. All the things that were wrong the first time only have new problems to compound it the second time around. I would try to make better decisions from now on. And at least do the next best thing by your current girlfriend and cut her lose so you can "have fun". By the way - none of this is advice. This is all obvious.

he didnt ruin anything, hes not married.

**Modulistic** · 03-11-2007, 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

hes not married.

irrelevant

**nhraformula** · 03-11-2007, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by Modulistic

irrelevant

very relevent.
if not married its alot more easy to walk.

**Kjz99z28** · 03-11-2007, 01:14 PM

Originally Posted by Modulistic

irrelevant

agreed

**whoa guy** · 03-11-2007, 01:19 PM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

very relevent.
if not married its alot more easy to walk.

its always easier to walk when you think only about yourself.. but then again, everything happens for a reason.

**Kmcrlyn** · 03-11-2007, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

he didnt ruin anything, hes not married.

LOL. Marriage is not a necessity for a committed relationship nor is it the only condition which demands being respectful of those that deserve it. I suppose some people have different ideas what is proper within the confines of a committed relationship (which is what he HAD) marriage or no.

Ruin - destroy or cause to fail
an event that results in destruction

I think being respectful, truthful and decent are essential for a committed relationship. By my standards, he undoubtedly ruined what he had. I'm sorry I dont feel like glossing over the obvious.

**nhraformula** · 03-11-2007, 01:31 PM

at times you need to think about yourself

**Kmcrlyn** · 03-11-2007, 01:31 PM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

very relevent.
if not married its alot more easy to walk.

I agree it's easier to "walk" if youre not married. However, severing ties is not the issue you brought up. You stated he couldnt have ruined his relationship because he wasnt married. which is not a prerequisite for being able to ruin a relationship.

**Kmcrlyn** · 03-11-2007, 01:33 PM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

at times you need to think about yourself

well, he thought about something. the point is that in doing so (thinking about yourself) - who you are is formed by how you handle the decisions you make. Conscientious would have been to break up with current gf if he wanted happy time with his ex...

**nhraformula** · 03-11-2007, 01:34 PM

Originally Posted by Kmcrlyn

LOL. Marriage is not a necessity for a committed relationship nor is it the only condition which demands being respectful of those that deserve it. I suppose some people have different ideas what is proper within the confines of a committed relationship (which is what he HAD) marriage or no.

Ruin - destroy or cause to fail
an event that results in destruction

I think being respectful, truthful and decent are essential for a committed relationship. By my standards, he undoubtedly ruined what he had. I'm sorry I dont feel like glossing over the obvious.

by your standards he may have fucked it up, hell even by mine he messed up.
people have different standards. your or my point of view may work for us, but not for the next person. what you consider wrong may not be for somebody else.

**nhraformula** · 03-11-2007, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by Kmcrlyn

well, he thought about something. the point is that in doing so (thinking about yourself) - who you are is formed by how you handle the decisions you make. Conscientious would have been to break up with current gf if he wanted happy time with his ex...

why break up with her over seeing the ex?
he didnt know where that was going.
and he still doesnt.
human nature to fuck as many partners as possible.

**nhraformula** · 03-11-2007, 01:37 PM

Originally Posted by Kmcrlyn

well, he thought about something. the point is that in doing so (thinking about yourself) - who you are is formed by how you handle the decisions you make. Conscientious would have been to break up with current gf if he wanted happy time with his ex...

above is your standards, not everybodies

**Kmcrlyn** · 03-11-2007, 01:38 PM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

by your standards he may have fucked it up, hell even by mine he messed up.
people have different standards. your or my point of view may work for us, but not for the next person. what you consider wrong may not be for somebody else.

Hmm, sounds good in theory, but no. Some things are moral certainties. Disregarding someone else's trust in you when you can easily avoid it is never a GOOD quality. It's never okay. Lets not try to be TOO understanding. Some things are just wrong.

**Kmcrlyn** · 03-11-2007, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

why break up with her over seeing the ex?
he didnt know where that was going.
and he still doesnt.
human nature to fuck as many partners as possible.

I'm going to call bullshit on that. He knew where it was going. LOL. Knowing that, he should have broken up with his "committed" girlfriend.

I agree he still doesnt know where its going, but its already gone somewhere.

Ummm human nature... nature isnt the issue. How we choose to deal with it is.

**Kmcrlyn** · 03-11-2007, 01:43 PM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

above is your standards, not everybodies

I agree, not everyone has an idea of how you behave decently.

**nhraformula** · 03-11-2007, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by Kmcrlyn

I agree, not everyone has an idea of how you behave decently.

decent means nothing in todays world.

btw, spare me any decent/moral rants , i divorced my wife cas of her messing around.

everything happens for a reason

**Kmcrlyn** · 03-11-2007, 01:52 PM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

decent means nothing in todays world.

btw, spare me any decent/moral rants , i divorced my wife cas of her messing around.

everything happens for a reason

It means nothing because some people hold "decent" as something that is negotiable... we dont demand it as a standard... just another part of the problem. But make no mistake there are certainties whether we choose to acknowledge them or not. Whether we choose to shrug them off or not...

**nhraformula** · 03-11-2007, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by Kmcrlyn

It means nothing because some people hold "decent" as something that is negotiable... we dont demand it as a standard... just another part of the problem. But make no mistake there are certainties whether we choose to acknowledge them or not. Whether we choose to shrug them off or not...

decent means different things to different people, once again you cant impose your view on somebody

**Kmcrlyn** · 03-11-2007, 01:58 PM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

decent means different things to different people, once again you cant impose your view on somebody

LOL. people that dont agree that taking other people who have been decent to you for granted, disrespecting them so you can fuck around, and then not having the decency to be honest with them after the fact... those people... lets just say i dont care what their views are. they should hold little or no meaning for anyone.