Looks like Divorce is inevitable

[JWBZ SVT]

So would it be in his best interest to video tape/document her behavour when she is having her episodes and get maybe 2-3 different opinions so they can get a truthful answer to the problem?

I mean i know people dress up the problems when they go in either they make it worse than it is or play it down into a minor episode.

Before the evaluation, we gave a test for Malingering which was nothing more than a peice of paper created by the head psychologist where the patients would sit down and mark true or false. Some of the things they would claim like "I sometimes smell smells like that of a rose that lasts for days on end." Or, the god from the zaweeki religion contacted me and told me to do X. We had to bite the insides of our cheeks to keep from laughing in their face at some of the responses. That test was skewed and not reliable for a diagnosis but it helped to establish dishonesty in writing and then at the end of the evaluation, we'd ask them about each answer they marked true. Also, on malingering, they may know a few symptoms to claim, but the doctors would admit them for observation where they would be observed 24 hours a day and notes made in their chart every 15 minutes. That's the one they weren't prepared for! lol Also, one of my favorites was when they would be accused of auto burglarly (which carried a 5 year sentence). They'd see multi-colored smurphs and the works until we told them that if found NGRI then they may have to stay at the hospital a lot longer than their sentencing would require them. The usual response: How long? The answer...don't know, it could be 5, 10, 20 years or even for life. You haven't seen the crawfish manuever until you've seen them denying every symptom they just told us they had! Sometimes I miss working there.

Yeah, a video would be great and even if she wasn't acting out, it may show her affect or other signs a shrink would know to pick up on, or stand as a comparison to behavior presented during an evlauation.

[sassy]

Riiight a wife with a bad temper, and quick moves to violent acts is a prize car. Girls will try and keep a dead relationship floating. A women will realize when people are not ment to be and instead of relying on crying, breaking things, years of expensive (unless this has become free in the past years) therapist, addictive pills, mood swings to keep this train wreck of a relationship rolling.

If he seriously wants to raise his children around a woman who could require addictive meds, and a therapist just to be happy with the life they have more power to him...me well call me old fashion but i like when i do not have to have a drug and drag my wife to a doctor just so she will be happy with me.


Boy, or man common sense knows no age. Alot of people who say save the marriage have either been divorced and did not want to be, or enjoy being in a shitty relationship.

Mental illness is not a crutch!! You talk about it as though its the flu. With proper diagnosis and help...there are many people out there that function just fine and you would never know that there is any issue.

There may of been some type of underlining issue prior to the accident and this may of made things worse. To just chaulk it up with her just being a LOONEY is ignorant....especially if you have kids.

I had an employee that had a husband that all of a sudden started acting out. Off the charts kind of behavior. She was starting to think after 7 months of this, she thought FOR SURE that he was having an affair. She started plotting and planning....getting ready for the right day and she was going to leave him.

One day while she was working in my office she got a call stating that her husband passed out at work and they were transported to the ER. 10 hours later he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Apparently this tumor had been growing, they suspected, for the last 7 or so years. Apparently if this had been caught earlier, there may of been a better chance that it would of turned cancerous. His behavior was due to this HUGE tumor in his head!

Somethings are worth investagating prior to 'jumping ship'.

[Eugenio_SS]

Something is off, Does having children have effects on a womens chemical balance? Like menopause maybe? She hasn't been right in the head for a while

"post-partom depression" is a possibility.

[SeVeReDiStOrTiOn]

Sounds like she has a bad temper with a touch of looney in her. Let's face it...mostly women attack guys cars/personal items...and why is that? Because that's all they feel like they can do....it's not like she can say come home right now or i'm gonna kick your ass. Also you two have kids together, it would be a lot harder on them if she kicked you out of the house instead of messing up your car....i'm sure she knows this.

Maybe try getting her some anger management...

[Liquifire]

Yes.......finding the root cause should definitely be number one on the priority list for now. If it was me(and I realize that it is not) I would try to see a psychiatrist and find out what is going on and see if they can get her some medical help(drugs probably or maybe just counseling) Obviously she doesn't understand the severity of what she did to your car or why you feel the way that you do about the situation. I would also lean towards depression and/or bipolar. I don't know what happened with the car accident but it seems that she has gone way overboard with her response. What has she done with your wife(the one you remember anyway)? Leaving her won't solve anything in the long run but at some point she has to understand that she can't act that way and go on a rampage whenever she wants. If this type of thing continues she has to be held accountable and pay the consequences(after given a chance with medical treatment) If she continued down that road, I could not be with someone that did not respect me and/or my property. With you cleaning it up, she didn't suffer any consequence and doesn't get it yet and worse off, let's just hope that she doesn't take this as a sign that it wasn't wrong of her to do it and next time do something worse, please for the sake of you and your children and hers as well, get her some help ASAP. ..........................my .02

[98-LS1]

Thanks for the responses, lot's of good things to think about. I'm doing my best to see what's up with her. She has an appointment today to see a doctor about her behaivior so we'll see what he says, I'll let ya'll know too. I had a long talk with her this weekend about everything and she seemed to get the point I was trying to cross. Now that she's outta school for summer break maybe she can relax and not be so stressed out.

[Sassy Cassie]

I hope everything works out for the best.

[ZO6Guy]

Thanks for the responses, lot's of good things to think about. I'm doing my best to see what's up with her. She has an appointment today to see a doctor about her behaivior so we'll see what he says, I'll let ya'll know too. I had a long talk with her this weekend about everything and she seemed to get the point I was trying to cross. Now that she's outta school for summer break maybe she can relax and not be so stressed out.

You should do Everything possible to talk to the doctor yourself. The ONLY way he can do an honest evaluation is to talk to your wife and OTHERS that interact with her on a daily basis.

Once he gets honest answers from all of you then he can make a diagnosis. Call the doctor and ask to have a meeting either in his office or via the phone. He cannot do a complete evaluation with only her statements. He will also order blood test.

Call NOW, immediately.

[myss]

I don't have the hots for anyone, I hate everybody equally and no, I am NOT going to retaliate. I'm not that type of person

HOLY COW, I wasn't saying that to you, I was replying to the post where the guy asked why "when you break up with a chick why do you have to buy a locking gas cap" I was talking about relationships in general with the retaliation coming from either sex - not yours . I was however saying that the only reason she could've possibly been that pissed about you stopping to get a hair cut was IF you had the hots for your barber NOT that you did. I just can't understand why she would be mad at you about a freakin' hair cut! I was in no means implying for you to get even with her, that would be high school shit. I truely wish you the best of luck.

[98-LS1]

HOLY COW, I wasn't saying that to you, I was replying to the post where the guy asked why "when you break up with a chick why do you have to buy a locking gas cap" I was talking about relationships in general with the retaliation coming from either sex - not yours . I was however saying that the only reason she could've possibly been that pissed about you stopping to get a hair cut was IF you had the hots for your barber NOT that you did. I just can't understand why she would be mad at you about a freakin' hair cut! I was in no means implying for you to get even with her, that would be high school shit. I truely wish you the best of luck.

I'm sorry about that, misread that post! Been irritable lately which I'm sure you understand. It's all good though so disregard that reply I posted

I don't care what anyone says, there is a good group of people on this board. Thanks for all the advise and help, I'll keep what's going on updated. She's at the doctors office right now, I went this morning and explained what was going on and he was concerned. We'll see how this evaluation goes, she was in a pretty good mood today.

[gjb]

I Can't stand women anymore!!! If I do divorce her then I'll be happy and single the rest of my life.

Sorry to hear about your car, man.

Sounds like you're married to someone who should still be in elementary school.

Here's a nickel's worth of free advice. Get out now. Don't waste your life on a woman who is willing to take out the frustrations in her life and low self esteem out on you. If she pulls BS like this now, there's no telling what she's capable of. Life is too damn short, and there are better women out there.

[sassy]

Sorry to hear about your car, man.

Sounds like you're married to someone who should still be in elementary school.

Here's a nickel's worth of free advice. Get out now. Don't waste your life on a woman who is willing to take out the frustrations in her life and low self esteem out on you. If she pulls BS like this now, there's no telling what she's capable of. Life is too damn short, and there are better women out there.

"Elementary school"....how old are you? Great advice, Beevis!!

[Bigrus]

"Elementary school"....how old are you? Great advice, Beevis!!

I like how you seem to attack anyones advice in this thread if it does not fit in with you "prize car" post. Seriously it must be true about women and bad relationships....they become man eaters.

[ZO6Guy]

I like how you seem to attack anyones advice in this thread if it does not fit in with you "prize car" post. Seriously it must be true about women and bad relationships....they become man eaters.

I completely agree with Sassy.

This guy is married with children and has history with this woman.

What will he be teaching his children if he leaves? Do you know for a FACT that EVERY child suffers permenant emotional scars as the result of Divorce.

The Divorce rate for children of divorce is 50% higher than children who's parents stay married.

Children suffer the most, what part don't you children understand?

Do any of you believe in your Marriage Vows? Are you all Hypocrites?

[Bigrus]

I completely agree with Sassy.

This guy is married with children and has history with this woman.

What will he be teaching his children if he leaves? Do you know for a FACT that EVERY child suffers permenant emotional scars as the result of Divorce.

The Divorce rate for children of divorce is 50% higher than children who's parents stay married.

Children suffer the most, what part don't you children understand?

Do any of you believe in your Marriage Vows? Are you all Hypocrites?

So we are children because we know when we are kicking a deadhorse? or are we children because we do not agree with immature replies and obsessed bitter ex replies?

Who suffers more children raised in a family where the parents fight all the time or children who are raised around parents who live in different homes but are happy.

Unless you have proof to backup your statement about the children i would suggest you crawl back onto your high horse.

Also for you to say that about people who are divorced is going against alot of member who are divorced and happy on this site with healthy smart children.

From what i see it is usually children who are clingy who do not realize when to let go. Not the other way around.

[gjb]

I completely agree with Sassy.

This guy is married with children and has history with this woman.

What will he be teaching his children if he leaves? Do you know for a FACT that EVERY child suffers permenant emotional scars as the result of Divorce.

Your opinion is wrong.

I've been where he's at, and I gave advice as to what worked for ME and MY children based on my past. Luckily, I had the wisdom to leave and it was the best thing I could have ever done.

No one deserves to live in disfunction, and there's disfunction in the relationship described in his initial post. He can heed the advice given by others, but there's nothing saying he MUST. He's a grown man and can make decisions on his own; simply reminding him that the Right Decisions are made with his Big Boy Brain, not his Emotional Brain.

Just because you don't agree from a fundamental standpoint doesn't mean that we're wrong, it's just wrong for you. If you choose to live your life in a hopeless, high-stress "game" war ONLY because you've had children with that person and your twisted sense of what it MIGHT mean to their mental health, I wish you luck. Better you than me.

[Bigrus]

Your opinion is wrong.

I've been where he's at, and I gave advice as to what worked for ME and MY children based on my past. Luckily, I had the wisdom to leave and it was the best thing I could have ever done.

No one deserves to live in disfunction, and there's disfunction in the relationship described in his initial post. He can heed the advice given by others, but there's nothing saying he MUST. He's a grown man and can make decisions on his own; simply reminding him that the Right Decisions are made with his Big Boy Brain, not his Emotional Brain.

Just because you don't agree from a fundamental standpoint doesn't mean that we're wrong, it's just wrong for you. If you choose to live your life in a hopeless, high-stress "game" war ONLY because you've had children with that person and your twisted sense of what it MIGHT mean to their mental health, I wish you luck. Better you than me.

Agreed. This man knows his stuff obviously.

[Sassy Cassie]

Your opinion is wrong.

I've been where he's at, and I gave advice as to what worked for ME and MY children based on my past. Luckily, I had the wisdom to leave and it was the best thing I could have ever done.

It doesn't mean that his situation is exactly like yours.

[gjb]

It doesn't mean that his situation is exactly like yours.

You're kidding, right? I wish there was a beat a dead horse emoticon.

*sigh* No ones situation is exactly alike.

/thread

[INMY01TA]

It doesn't mean that his situation is exactly like yours.

Thank you!!!