joke thread.. NWS for words, filth, dirt, rude

[2fast2blegal]

A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder,
the bartender looks at him and goes " Wow thats beautiful where did you get it "?
"Africa" says the parrot

[01ws6er]

A farmer is trying to increase production, while reducing cost, so he hires 500 Mexicans to work on his farm. A cop sees this and asks the farmer, "are they legal?" The farmer says "I'm not gonna lie, no they are not." So the cop says to send them back to Mexico, or else...The farmer is now thinking how to keep up production, so he builds 500 robots to do the work!!! The next day the same cop drives by and gets blinded by the shiny metal from the robots, so he pulls in again; Now he is aggrivated! He tells the farmer to get the robots out of the field IMMEDIATELY because it will blind passing motorists...So the farmer cuts his losses once again and has to think of another way to keep up production. Then it comes to him...He will paint the robots black so that they can work without blinding anyone!!!

He wakes up the next day, and none of the robots show up for work!

[01ws6er]

A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder,
the bartender looks at him and goes " Wow thats beautiful where did you get it "?
"Africa" says the parrot

HAHAHA!!! I love that one!

[Spaz]

A photographer goes down to the south and decides to take a few pictures around town. He passes by two southern black women and ask "can i take a picture of you two?"

They comply and pose.

The photographer says, "hold on, im just going to focus."

One of the women asks, "what did he just say?"

"He said hes gonna focus."

She replys, "Bofus?"

BWAHAHAHAAHHAH!!!
makes me think of that scene from austin poweres "fook mi!! fook yu!!!"

[2fast2blegal]

HAHAHA!!! I love that one!

My grandpa told me it on Martin Luther King Day

[kickflippin1]

A farmer is trying to increase production, while reducing cost, so he hires 500 Mexicans to work on his farm. A cop sees this and asks the farmer, "are they legal?" The farmer says "I'm not gonna lie, no they are not." So the cop says to send them back to Mexico, or else...The farmer is now thinking how to keep up production, so he builds 500 robots to do the work!!! The next day the same cop drives by and gets blinded by the shiny metal from the robots, so he pulls in again; Now he is aggrivated! He tells the farmer to get the robots out of the field IMMEDIATELY because it will blind passing motorists...So the farmer cuts his losses once again and has to think of another way to keep up production. Then it comes to him...He will paint the robots black so that they can work without blinding anyone!!!

He wakes up the next day, and none of the robots show up for work!

hahahaha

[NJ 666]

How do you starve a black man?
Hide his paycheck under his workboots.

I know old as hell.

My neighbor in NJ owned a boat shop and said they used to call the Mercury Marine outboards welfare engines.
Because they were black and would never work.

[NJ 666]

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
Because there's twenty of them.

[rapter34]

A man buys an old bike that works fine except for the oil tank would leak when it rained. He found that putting vasoline on the seals solved that problem. One day he went over to his girl friends house and she came out and told him that her and her parents where having a huge argument and the first one to talk had to do the dishes. So they are all sitting there not saying a word so the guy thought im going to have some fun with this he gets up and starts fucking the GF right there in front of her parents. The parents say nothing. He than thinks im going to have more fun with this and stats fuck the mother. The father says nothing. He than looks outside and sees that it is raining, he pulls out the vasoline. Upon him pulling it out the father gets up and yells alright ill do the dishes.

[robcas47]

what's worse than 10 dead babies hanging from a tree?

1 dead baby hanging from 10 trees

[robcas47]

what's nine inches long, has a purple head, and makes women scream?



a still born baby








okay that one might be a little harsh. but that's what was asked for wasn't it?

[robcas47]

why does the Polish navy have glass windows on the bottom of it's ships?

so they can see the rest of the Polish navy

[robcas47]

How do you sink a Polish submarine?

knock on the door

[01ws6er]

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he is actually pushing the earth down.

It is not God, but Chuck Norris who decides who lives and dies.

[01ws6er]

-Anyone hear about Evil Keneivel's new stunt???

He rode through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied behind his back.

-How many Ethioopians can you fit in a phone booth?

All of them.

-What do you call 2 Ethiopians in a gold sleeping bag?

Twix

This one is better in person but here goes...
(Person telling joke pulls skin on neck to sides with both hands)
-Asks, What is this?

An Ethiopian with a piece of rice stuck in his throat.

[67CamaroRSSS]

Q: Why is it good to get a blow job from an Eithopian woman?

A: You know she'll swallow.

[67CamaroRSSS]

Q: What do you get when you cross a Polack with a Mexican?

A: A kid who writes grafitti on a chain link fence.

[67CamaroRSSS]

A half-black half-jewish kid is trying to negotiate the purchase of a bicycle from one of his friends but isn't succeding very well. When he gets home he goes up to his mother and asks, "Mom, am I more black or more jewish?" Mom answers, "I don't know. Go ask your father."

He goes up to his father and asks the same question. The father asks, "Well son, why do you want to know?"

His reply: "Well, I'm trying to get this bike from a friend and I don't know if I should jew him down or just steal the motherfucker."

[67CamaroRSSS]

What's the difference between seasoned beer drinkers and rookie necrophiliacs?

The beer drinkers don't throw up when they crack open a cold one.

['02DirtyBird]

Waht do you get when you mix a mexican and an octopus?




I dont know either but it sure as hell can pick alot of lettuce.