Post situations that caught you entirely off guard

**justinmc978** · 11-16-2009, 07:26 AM

Originally Posted by 86 IROC-Z

I would totally work at Abercrombie. The chicks there are right up my alley.

I even have a shirt from abercrombie that says "Freshmen: I get older, they stay the same age", which would be very fitting in that situation, in more ways than one.

and this is college station abercrombie, so they have the most choice chicks ever, it rawks

haha i watch dazed and confused like 3 days ago for the 86786th time

**86 IROC-Z** · 11-16-2009, 07:28 AM

haha nice

**Mike97dakota** · 11-16-2009, 09:56 AM

i love dazed and confused

**TempleU_WS6** · 11-16-2009, 10:19 AM

Seriously? Why did you let her ride your unicycle?

You're dumb.

**justinmc978** · 11-16-2009, 10:31 AM

Originally Posted by TempleU_WS6

Seriously? Why did you let her ride your unicycle?

You're dumb.

like i said, it was really situational, you just had to be there to feel my plight,

whole family was coocoo, i heard later from a bartender at work that knows the family said her dad and brother were both on illegal drugs, which made sense because her dad just flat out freaked me out, and her brother was abnormally dickish to everyone around him,

he had a n/a 240 nissan that 'killed' ls1's without using nos

**TempleU_WS6** · 11-16-2009, 10:52 AM

Originally Posted by justinmc978

like i said, it was really situational, you just had to be there to feel my plight,

whole family was coocoo, i heard later from a bartender at work that knows the family said her dad and brother were both on illegal drugs, which made sense because her dad just flat out freaked me out, and her brother was abnormally dickish to everyone around him,

he had a n/a 240 nissan that 'killed' ls1's without using nos

haha, ok I see your point.

**justinmc978** · 11-16-2009, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by TempleU_WS6

haha, ok I see your point.

**justinmc978** · 11-16-2009, 11:11 AM

i was dating a girl for about a month and a half, we were still in the phase where you see past any imperfections and you just like the person for who they are etc. etc.

okay so one night i was at my 'sisters' house aka a best friend of mine that i consider a sister because, just, do not want. i tell my g/f this and shes like "okay then

"

next day, i'm at the lunch table riffraffing and what-haveyou, my bestfriend Pat looks at his phone and says, "dude, Kaitlyn broke up with you, Katie(her bbfl or whatever) just texted me", everyone stopped and stared at me to judge my reaction, surprised but not necessarily heartbroken i said, "haha well that sucks." and proceded to riffraff about all the dirty we had done in that month and a half

apparently she thought i was cheating on her with someone who was basically my sister the night before, when she found out who it was she broke down and went crazy. good memories.

cliff note: i got dumped not only through a text message, but through a text message that was sent to my friend

**kickflippin1** · 11-16-2009, 11:17 AM

Originally Posted by Smittro

When I was young (teen) my best friend and I went to McDonolds for some grub. It was @ night after our usual rounds of cuiseing the scene for chicks. So we get some drive through and my buddy whom is driving begins to pull out onto the road. So like anyone does I'm bent over the bag on the floor looking to seperate our orders and eat. I hand him his burger which he propmtly begins to open and eat. I get my burger open it up and as I'm taking a bite I happen to look over the wrapper. Mouth full of burger I see head lights. I now come to the realization he has begun driving in the far far left lane of the 4-lane road. As calmly as I can with a mouth full of burger I say, " DUDE! you're on the wrong side of the road." At this point there is now chewed burger everywhere. He then proceeds to panic and take hold of the wheel with both hands, still clutching his burger now smashed all over the wheel. He swerves hard right and proceeds to run over the concrete median. With sparks flying,burgers,fries,and two large cokes now orbiting within the car we bounce into the proper lanes. Must have been one hell of a sight for the other folks on the the road,with food flying out both windows and sparks all around.
So now covered in fast food and soft drinks, he asks, "now what?" Now as much as I wanted to kill him all I could muster was, "turn your head lights on"...

Hahaha. This one is great. Literally laughing out loud when i read it.

**allbaugh_04** · 11-16-2009, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by 86 IROC-Z

Do it.

I'll go first. So a couple months back it's a weekend night and I have nothing in particular planned, one of my buds call me up and says "Yo dawg this chick is having a birthday party, we should totally go" so I'm like aight, and I'm excited because it was the summer and I hadn't managed to do much fun stuff in that non-college-town. So we get on our way, eventually get to the chicks house.

We go inside and.... we were at the party. Oh yeah. This was a party. A birthday party, specifically. A REAL fucking birthday party. Like, she was fucking blowing out candles, on the weak ass cake, and there was a fucking mound of nicely wrapped gifts on the table, and her fucking GRANDMOTHER was there. Since we got there right as she blew out the candles, some little-shit cousin or whatever felt sorry for us and earned us a part in the encore of the happy birthday song. Long story short, we left after 10 minutes (The last 9 were out of pity).

On the way home, my friend says to me, "Dude, I have a 30pack in the trunk and was so close to bringing it inside when we got here, that would've been awkward as fuck."

Which site do you get these fucking stories off of? I've already read all these that you post every day...

**86 IROC-Z** · 11-16-2009, 11:36 AM

Originally Posted by allbaugh_04

Which site do you get these fucking stories off of? I've already read all these that you post every day...

What you quoted is original material.

**allbaugh_04** · 11-16-2009, 11:54 AM

**JHayesLS1** · 11-16-2009, 12:00 PM

Just the other day I was blasting ass in my office and my phone happened to be in my pocket and dialed one of our vendors. Talk about embarassing. He was laughing his ass off but he said he could hear it all.

**allbaugh_04** · 11-16-2009, 02:58 PM

I went to the chow hall to go eat and I ran into a work associate. He asks me to sit next to him and i noticed the guy accross the table works in calibration (another area of the base) as I sit down.

My associate sets his tray down and takes a seat. He immediately starts talking shit about the calibration place about how they screwed something up...he had no idea he was sitting right in front of us.

Hilarious and embarrassing at the same time, I just kept my mouth shut and said nothing, hoping he would shut up...

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 11-16-2009, 04:49 PM

air force doesn't have a chow hall...it's a damn gourmet restaurant

**allbaugh_04** · 11-16-2009, 04:55 PM

i'll buy you dinner at offutt, if you can keep down the food, i'll applaud

**grouch0jr** · 11-16-2009, 08:08 PM

one time when i was in college, i was sleeping through a party we were hosting (i had a cold, or something, i dunno) and two girls broke into my room and started goin at it. that threw me off big time. later the one girl asked me why i didnt join in. that really threw me off.

**Modulistic** · 11-17-2009, 09:12 AM

This phillipino woman was like "can you fixing the internet in this room please"
so I was like, sure. I walked into the room and right off the bat smelled mold and noticed the bottom inch of all four walls was black and moldy. I saw that she had DSL, status light flashing, and traced the phone line back behind an old dresser, and saw immediately that it was wet as fuck. I placed a call to her phone number and observed sparks coming out of the phone jack. so I was like "problems with wet jack." I kinda talk with a phillipine accent when Im talking to them... I cant help it. So shes like "ohhhhhhhhh chispas" I guess that means sparkles in phillipino. I said, "no problem I think I have one I can give to you." I find an old phone jack and bring it inside to replace it. So I move the dresser and the carpet one inch away from the wall is soaking wet. I pull the jack off the wall and see about an inch of standing water frozen inside the wall. the inside heat would melt the ice and cause it to drip down the wire into the phone jack. I show her this and shes like "ohhhhh" so Im like, "uh, Ill just putting this up high so the water wont drip down the wire into the phone jack." shes like ohhhhhh ok. So I throw the new jack on there, plug in her modem and turn on her computer. like 15 minutes later it finally boots up because she has 7 kids and they all take turns downloading bullshit onto the computer, pc defender, chikka messenger, donwload manager this, spyware fixer that. So I click through the 15 pop up ads telling me I have to buy pc defender or buttfuck.trojan will anally rape my computer. yes I want to continue without safeguarding my computer, fucking piece of shit.

She has six daughters and one son named ram. Ram is like 2 years old pawing on my leg saying "up daddy" like he wants me to pick him up and put him on my lap. im like fuck you kid, the last thing I need is molesterer charges. I say "no, not daddy!" like hes a bad dog. He does the most logical thing, and falls...no... bodyslams himself to the floor, slamming his head on the ground... and its a crawlspace/ plywood floor construction so the sound of this kids head slamming over and over on the ground reverberates through the entire house. this lady left me alone in the room with 3 daughters and ram, because she is bringing me mango juice, and um.. those brown donuts with the white filling inside, bananas, etc. A little historical background is America liberated the phillipines from the Japs and pretty much said "heres your fucking shit back. laters." Unlike the other invaders of the phillipines, who came in and fingerbanged them constantly until the next invader came along. so its basically the last place America liberated and acted like Americans and left the people alone. Consequently, they have a fairly good opinion of Americans, and im an American, so I was reaping the rewards my forefathers fought for. in the form of ho-hos. She steps over her screaming kid and then she goes "you want rice?" Im like, yeah. sure. please. She comes back with a fucking mound of rice as big as my ass, and a little bowl of stew looking stuff. I ask "Is this pigs?" Cause I dont eat pig, and shes says "oh no, is beef" So I take it and then she goes "beef liver" Call me unreasonable, but for me the jury is still out for whether I feel I should be eating the organ responsible for filtering poison out of nasty fucking cows. but I cant refuse her gracious hospitality and insult her at this point. So i mixed it in with the rice to thin it out as much as possible and dug in. mmmm liver. gross. then this little baby cockroach smells the food and crawls out from under the printer and starts crawling on all the wires and shit. Im just pretending I dont see it, but then it crawls onto the monitor, with a white background. just plain as shit. So im looking at her, looking at the cockroach.. looking at her. now thats fucking awkward. I reached over and flicked it off and smiled and kept eating, but I wasnt very hungry anymore at that point. I got the hell out of there as fast as I could and left a lot of food on the plate, but I couldnt help it.