Chuck Norris Facts!

**SexOnWheels** · 02-01-2008, 07:35 AM

^^nice that looks like Kieth (The dean of mean) Jardine a MMA fighter....

I have one more Chuck gif:

**SexOnWheels** · 02-01-2008, 11:35 AM

Here is a picture of Jardine winning in his fight against Chuck Liddell:

Looks like a demon eh?

**FSANE** · 02-01-2008, 12:12 PM

Techno Viking FTW

**hoss 2000 z-28** · 02-03-2008, 11:42 AM

I love these, I had to try my hand at making a few of my own...

Chuck Norris was removed from Mortal Kombat due to a glitch where at the beginning of each round his opponent would perform their own fatality on themselves.

Chuck Norris slapped the Doctor that delivered him.

As a teenager, Chuck Norris worked at a saw mill by filling in for the log splitting machine when it broke down.

Chuck Norris was invited to throw the first pitch at a MLB game. His throw was so fierce that the entire crowd became deaf from the sonic boom, the catcher and umpire behind him were pronounced dead at the scene, and the baseball itself was recently spotted by Voyager I.

Chuck Norris can rip the fabric of spacetime with his bare hands.

**suede** · 02-03-2008, 07:06 PM

Chuck Noris's fist can penetrate a bullet-proof vest.....twice

**SexOnWheels** · 02-04-2008, 07:04 AM

Found another one:

**hoss 2000 z-28** · 02-04-2008, 07:34 AM

The sight of Chuck Norris popping his knuckle cures constipation.

**Bombhunter** · 02-04-2008, 01:55 PM

Chuck Norris actually died 5 years ago, but the Grim Reaper is too afraid to tell him...

**gwballin** · 02-08-2008, 05:47 AM

Chuck Norris Auditing Tips:

-Chuck Norris highlights in black
-There is a sharp rise in Workers Comp claims whenever Chuck Norris is at the client
-Chuck celebrates the end of each audit by burning the client's house down. Why? Cause its just what Chuck likes to do.
-Chuck Norris audits in the dark
-When a partner asked if the client had any other long-term liabilities...Norris simply held up his fists
-If Chuck gets tired during the day he takes a nap....on the CEOs desk
-Chuck Norris does not accrue for expenses...he accrues for pain
-Chuck Norris' posting threshold for pain....unlimited.
-Chuck Norris does not use a ruler when making "power tickmarks".... he naturally draws perfectly straight lines
-Chuck Norris has a hard drive...but it doesn't refer to what's in his computer.
-Chuck Norris has conducted three Weyerhaeuser site visits...strangely enough the towns of these sites no longer have any identifiable population or resources.
-Chuck Norris takes a 15 minute coffee break every 5 minutes
-How does Chuck Norris test fixed assets? Answer: with a bottle of super glue and an ambitious hand
-How does Chuck Norris hole punch? Answer: with a shotgun and an extremely accurate aim
-Chuck Norris not only assigns useful lives....he takes them away
-Chuck Norris does not have to dial 9 first
-Chuck Norris erases pencil marks with his beard...it erases pen too
-If he finds an exception, Chuck Norris amortizes pain over the remaining useful life of the client
-Chuck Norris has a full time plumber assigned to him for when he uses the restroom
-Chuck Norris irons his shirts with a blowtorch and a rusty piece of sheet metal
-What's the risk of significant misstatement? Answer: A Chuck Norris roundhouse