Dating chicks...... that have kids.......

**Sassy Cassie** · 04-03-2011, 02:50 PM

I guess I come from the other perspective when I say I am so thankful that Pac has been an amazing father to both of our children; my son from a previous marriage and the daughter we made together. Our life hasn't always been perfect but we are learning as we go. I am a pretty lucky girl and could stand to remind myself of that more often.

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 04-03-2011, 02:54 PM

Originally Posted by blackSS01

Some good solid advice and then some crap advice in this thread

Girl I'm dating right now has 1 son (9 years old) and I'm loving it. Her son and I get along great and he loves hanging out with me. Only problem I've had was when and how to discipline him if he is out of control (Which is very rare) Other then that, here are some pointers:

Get to know her first before the children are even brought into the mix
Don't try to replace their father (Fathers)
Don't be all "Balls to the Walls" when you meet them and expect them to take to you instantly
Slow and steady pretty much wins the race

Now if you don't want kids or hate them, get out now and save her the troubles. Also be sure to watch you're back and make sure she isn't trying to get a sugar daddy that will take care of her kids if their father is a dead beat

Just because an opinion differs from yours doesn't make it crap. There's plenty of single women without baggage even around our age so why settle for one with headaches. Not everyone wants a pre-made family or gets off on banging single moms.

**blackSS01** · 04-03-2011, 02:57 PM

Originally Posted by SeVeReDiStOrTiOn

Just because an opinion differs from yours doesn't make it crap. There's plenty of single women without baggage even around our age so why settle for one with headaches. Not everyone wants a pre-made family or gets off on banging single moms.

Without getting into a crap shoot, if you like the girl.....kids are not a deal breaker unless you:

A: Hate kids
B: Don't want kids

I was trying to give him advice other then my opinion. I stated my personnel opinion and then some facts that most seem to agree with

**Sassy Cassie** · 04-03-2011, 03:00 PM

Originally Posted by SeVeReDiStOrTiOn

Just because an opinion differs from yours doesn't make it crap. There's plenty of single women without baggage even around our age so why settle for one with headaches. Not everyone wants a pre-made family or gets off on banging single moms.

Childless doesn't mean baggage-less when it comes to women.

**blackSS01** · 04-03-2011, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by Sassy Cassie

Childless doesn't mean bagageless when it comes to women.

GOD THIS IS SOOO

I've been with some Girls (No kids) that I went running to the hills. Way more baggage then "Some" children bring into the mix.

**nhraformula** · 04-03-2011, 03:20 PM

Originally Posted by ibanez7

REMEMBER CHICS WITH KIDS, PUT OUT!!!!

Just to take above quote a little further, single women with kids treat men better than their single no kids counter parts. Lets be honest and not politically correct for a moment, they know its going to be harder for them to score a "good guy" when in competition with women that dont have kids.
Ill date women with kids and have in the past, but ill never get serious with them as i dont want to deal with others kids.

Originally Posted by SeVeReDiStOrTiOn

There's plenty of single women without baggage even around our age so why settle for one with headaches.

I also agree as its true.

**Sassy Cassie** · 04-03-2011, 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

Just to take above quote a little further, single women with kids treat men better than their single no kids counter parts. Lets be honest and not politically correct for a moment, they know its going to be harder for them to score a "good guy" when in competition with women that dont have kids.

I can honestly say that I never felt that way; at least not when I was in my early 20's and a single parent.

**blackSS01** · 04-03-2011, 03:48 PM

How are kids headaches

I guess I could see that if the kid was undiciplined and running amuck (Spell?)

I can see if you don't want kids.......good, your opinion.

OP said he likes this girl and the children thing hasn't scared him away and at this moment it doesn't really affect him.

In the end, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

**ibanez7** · 04-03-2011, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

Just to take above quote a little further, single women with kids treat men better than their single no kids counter parts. Lets be honest and not politically correct for a moment, they know its going to be harder for them to score a "good guy" when in competition with women that dont have kids.
Ill date women with kids and have in the past, but ill never get serious with them as i dont want to deal with others kids.

I also agree as its true.

so very true.

**ibanez7** · 04-03-2011, 03:51 PM

Originally Posted by Sassy Cassie

Childless doesn't mean baggage-less when it comes to women.

that is so very true...

some women in their late 20s - 30s, sometimes have more baggage, as in:

-pushy to be married with kids, cause of their bioligical clock and society says so.

-way to bitchy or controlling or distant, men are pigs, been burned to many times.

**INMY01TA** · 04-03-2011, 05:36 PM

Originally Posted by nhraformula

Just to take above quote a little further, single women with kids treat men better than their single no kids counter parts.

Bullshit. I dated a chick with two kids. You'd think they'd cut you some slack and be cool but she was a bitch. Fuck her and her kids. I dated another with one kid, nutjob too. Fuck bitches with kids, same old headaches+ a whole lot more.

**StuntmanMike** · 04-03-2011, 06:12 PM

Originally Posted by ibanez7

that is so very true...

some women in their late 20s - 30s, sometimes have more baggage, as in:

-pushy to be married with kids, cause of their bioligical clock and society says so.

-way to bitchy or controlling or distant, men are pigs, been burned to many times.

Oh hell yes, this is my biggest problem with dating right now.

So, I tried dating a 23 year old...no baby fever, but she's still in that "go out and party with college friends every weekend" mode. That's not working out too well either.

**310stanger** · 04-03-2011, 06:16 PM

A few thing.....

I've noticed we are in the midst of another fucking baby boom imo. What my point? My point is that if you are 23 and older, you are gonna encounter lots of girls that got knocked up and have a kid or more. If you arent open to dating a girl that might have a kid, it can get really difficult to have all the variables that need to be in place when you date someone.

There 2 kinds of women that have kids and are on the market..... There the ones that are sluts that are looking for the current wallet to drain to support their kids from different dads and think men aint shit. Then theres the women who might have a kid that was conceived in a serious relationship or even marriage and it didnt work out. They have a job and support both themselves and the kid just fine. But they want to and deserve to meet someone nice. Often these said girls WONT even let you meet their children till far down the line anyways.

A red flag is when the girl is persistent you have immediate constant contact with their kid and they constantly bitch about funds in relation to them and the kid.

Some women totally respect you not being ready just yet to meet their kids and are cool with you getting to know THEM first.

Chicks with kids PUT OUT!

**StuntmanMike** · 04-03-2011, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by blackSS01

Without getting into a crap shoot, if you like the girl.....kids are not a deal breaker unless you:

A: Hate kids
B: Don't want kids

Very true. This was the problem in my case. The girl was actually super cool, and hot, but I couldn't get past the kids thing.

We actually dated close to two months and I never even met the kids, she wasn't trying to push me into the "new daddy" role.

What killed it was that I was only around on her every other weekend and one night a week when she didn't have the kids. She wanted someone who'd be around more.

I understood that.... and being honest with myself, she deserved alot more than what I could give her.

Too bad I'm a bit of a selfish prick, because other than the kids, she was almost perfect for me.

**Zapper2003** · 04-03-2011, 06:27 PM

Originally Posted by 310stanger

A few thing.....

I've noticed we are in the midst of another fucking baby boom imo. What my point? My point is that if you are 23 and older, you are gonna encounter lots of girls that got knocked up and have a kid or more. If you arent open to dating a girl that might have a kid, it can get really difficult to have all the variables that need to be in place when you date someone.

There 2 kinds of women that have kids and are on the market..... There the ones that are sluts that are looking for the current wallet to drain to support their kids from different dads and think men aint shit. Then theres the women who might have a kid that was conceived in a serious relationship or even marriage and it didnt work out. They have a job and support both themselves and the kid just fine. But they want to and deserve to meet someone nice. Often these said girls WONT even let you meet their children till far down the line anyways.

A red flag is when the girl is persistent you have immediate constant contact with their kid and they constantly bitch about funds in relation to them and the kid.

Some women totally respect you not being ready just yet to meet their kids and are cool with you getting to know THEM first.

Chicks with kids PUT OUT!

I started a post like this earlier and gave up on it. You said what I was gonna. The only kind I've found was the first kind that bitches about everything, the trailer trash type.

**Firebug** · 04-03-2011, 07:57 PM

It was the other way around for me. I was the one with 2 kids and hooked up with a single girl that's been never married or had kids. She never categorised me as having baggage, or worried about me putting the kids before her or vice versa, me having to pay child support, etc...

I'm sure there are bitches out there with kids, but I'm sure they were probably bitches before they had kids.

For the record, we are now married, have one of our own and looking at having another. It isn't all bad...

**blackSS01** · 04-03-2011, 08:02 PM

Originally Posted by Firebug

It was the other way around for me. I was the one with 2 kids and hooked up with a single girl that's been never married or had kids. She never categorised me as having baggage, or worried about me putting the kids before her or vice versa, me having to pay child support, etc...

I'm sure there are bitches out there with kids, but I'm sure they were probably bitches before they had kids.

For the record, we are now married, have one of our own and looking at having another. It isn't all bad...

I don't consider children baggage, I consider them children

**SiggyZ** · 04-04-2011, 06:28 AM

It doesn't bother me one bit. My lady friend has two boys and I spend a great deal of time with them and they both really like being around me.

**Murder after Midnight** · 04-04-2011, 06:35 AM

Quality stuff guys I'm impressed.........

**suede** · 04-04-2011, 11:57 PM

ok while i know im not dating this chick, im gonna try to point out some things maybe?

Background: girl is 23, has a kid who is now 9 months, she lives in the apartment below me, the kids dad is worthless, signed over his rights 100%, wants nothing to do with the lil guy... and im sure she will find a guy who does love her and the kid, shes cute and has alot going for her... but my point, im not ready to settle down with this, yet i do like to help her out as much as possible, ill watch him from time to time when she cant pick him up from work or what not.... and while i do like to take care of him, it is nice to not HAVETO care for him... and she does a great job for the both of them, i just figure it he can use some male influence (bring on the jokes of how good of a infuence lol), so i guess my opinion is A. how serious you are about staying with the girl, bc it can be rough on an older kid too..... and B. worry about how you work with the girl, then once that is established, then worry about your relationship with the kid.... all and all every situation is different and no one bit of advice is going to apply to all situations.....