F my life...

**FORD RECOVERY EXPERT** · 02-17-2009, 07:45 AM

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

**pjeff7** · 02-17-2009, 09:51 AM

Today my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

awsome...lol

**Anthracis** · 02-17-2009, 11:17 AM

Originally Posted by suede

lol for my roommate---

"i sent my gf a valentine and said i love you, she sent the same one to my roomate and said i wish i could be with you instead of jeff...fml"

now that shit is funny!

**irishpenguin13** · 02-17-2009, 11:42 AM

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

^ oh no.

**suede** · 02-17-2009, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by Anthracis

now that shit is funny!

lol and its true... thats the best part...

**OH ONE ES ES** · 02-17-2009, 01:28 PM

Today, thinking that I’m alone at work, I start rummaging through my nose trying to find something interesting. It’s only after about a minute that I notice that my boss is looking straight at me. FML

hahaha happened to me

**ZombieSlayer909** · 02-18-2009, 10:12 PM

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

**squee** · 02-19-2009, 12:25 AM

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

**One_Bad_TA** · 02-19-2009, 07:38 AM

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

**Crimson Sin** · 02-19-2009, 02:08 PM

Ahahah been on there for an hour now. This is GREAT.

**kickflippin1** · 02-21-2009, 02:53 PM

"Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML"

Ahahhaha.

COD4 FTW!!