ITT Post things you do before your girl comes over

BadBlueBird* · 08-03-2010, 10:17 PM

Push Ups/Sit Ups

**grouch0jr** · 08-04-2010, 02:40 AM

drink about a 6 pack
shower
turn on hidden camera

**tnthub** · 08-04-2010, 04:38 AM

I am trying to remember what I did back in the 1970s...

I usually made sure there was beer/wine and the bar was fully stocked and I had ice. Made sure cassette tapes were easily accessible and I had munchies like chips, cheese nips, and some sort of dip.

SSS (Sh*t,Shower,Shave) and check toilet seat and sink for grossness and have a dry towel available that looked clean and didn't smell bad.

If my place was trashed I would throw everything in a closet or a box.

However some chicks liked to clean things up and for them I would leave it trashed and they would feel like they could exercize their feminine side by helping to clean things up.

I had a bird so I made sure I cleaned up his cage floor.

No fapping before someone came over. I never had a problem with not being able to last, plus I always made sure the lady had a good time first. Of course it was the 1970s (and in college) so it wasn't like anyone went more than a couple of days between getting laid which perhaps made it easier to last as long as needed...

I had an apartment just off campus which was actually closer to the classrooms than the dorms so my place was easy to get to and having my own place had a certain cool factor. I also had a car which most other students did not have since parking was limited for people living in the dorms. I even had a garage...

Many of my "dates" were simple and cheap. Basically the girl would show up and we would go somewhere silly like a grocery store and buy food, bring it back and cook it up, drink some alcohol, crank some tunes, and hop into bed... I suspect having my own place with some privacy and a car had a lot to do with my success back then, plus since the girls were also college students they had been limited to college guys without wheels or privacy...

**SleeperC5** · 08-04-2010, 04:51 AM

Originally Posted by blackSS01

I may hate 99% of Fords but the Termi sounds better then any LS1 I've ever heard (including my car) I'd do that car right in the butt

All rustangs sound exactly the same. doesn't matter if its a gt, cobra or a mach. the only difference in the cobra is it has a screaming cat sound.....

just my 2 cents.

1) Made sure the house is clean
2) Make sure there's enough liquor
3) Shower
4) Brush teeth, mouthwash
5) Shave
6) Get dressed
7) Start dinner
8) make sure beer or wine is cold
9) Check over on last time
10) After she arrives, drink just enough to make me last longer

**Knight** · 08-04-2010, 05:06 AM

Originally Posted by 86 IROC-Z

for me it's:

1) quick fap to last longer in bed
2) quick shower
3) mouthwash
4) remove crusty fap socks from floor
5) refresh AAG one last time
6) clear internet history
7) clear text history
8) change background on computer from hot babe to some scenic island

what do you guys do?

You lie! You make no mention of pausing WoW.... or starting it so the two of you can play together.

**Smkn_TA** · 08-04-2010, 05:14 AM

Iroc forgot put her favorite barney tape in, get baggy of cheerios, etc...

**blackcar** · 08-04-2010, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by tnthub

Made sure cassette tapes were easily accessible and I had munchies like chips, cheese nips, and some sort of dip.

I've fastforwarded a tape to get to the perfect song. That way when the girl got there I could just hit play. Of course it goes more like: ff, stop, play, not far enough, ff, stop, play, not far enough, ff, stop, play, too far, rewind, stop, play, too far but close, play until song before the song you want is finished with your finger on the stop button so you can hit stop as soon as it is over, stop.

**Mr. Luos** · 08-04-2010, 10:44 AM

Pop a couple percocets.
Make 'pictures' folder hidden again on PC.
Make 'pictures' folder hidden again on laptop.
Check said folder.
Fap.
Make 'pictures' folder hidden again on iPod.
Fap.
Make 'pictures'......fuck it...you get the idea.
3 shots and one more percocet.

All this....and I last roughly 45 seconds.
But at least I don't have premature issues with non-girlfriends.

**woodshed** · 08-04-2010, 01:12 PM

Start doing curls right before she opens the door.
Be sure to start counting around 1000
Brag about how many curls I have done once she enters and witnesses me doing said curls.

Cannonball with scotch in hand.

**86 IROC-Z** · 08-04-2010, 03:29 PM

Originally Posted by Mr. Luos

Pop a couple percocets.
Make 'pictures' folder hidden again on PC.
Make 'pictures' folder hidden again on laptop.
Check said folder.
Fap.
Make 'pictures' folder hidden again on iPod.
Fap.
Make 'pictures'......fuck it...you get the idea.
3 shots and one more percocet.

All this....and I last roughly 45 seconds.
But at least I don't have premature issues with non-girlfriends.

You can never be too safe.

All my porn is in a folder, which is hidden inside a 5 gigabyte virtual volume disguised as a nondescript system file, which has 256-bit encryption and requires a 20 digit random character password to access. Said file is also 9 directories deep so good luck finding it in the first place to open it.

Completely serious, and I don't even have a girlfriend lol

**SHines-IT** · 08-04-2010, 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by 86 IROC-Z

You can never be too safe.

All my porn is in a folder, which is hidden inside a 5 gigabyte virtual volume disguised as a nondescript system file, which has 256-bit encryption and requires a 20 digit random character password to access. Said file is also 9 directories deep so good luck finding it in the first place to open it.

Completely serious, and I don't even have a girlfriend lol

Got to be sure that CP is in a cave.

**86 IROC-Z** · 08-04-2010, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by SHines-IT

Got to be sure that CP is in a cave.

cheese pizza?

**SHines-IT** · 08-04-2010, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by 86 IROC-Z

cheese pizza?

Caesars Palace...

**Smkn_TA** · 08-04-2010, 03:56 PM

My porn is literally in an invisible folder...invisible icon(even swith show hidden files on) and invisible text name of the file. I used an alt number code for an invisible character. AND THEN, if you happen to be clicking around in the completley random directory I have it in and find it. You open it up and find a bunch of pointless pointless pictures. lolcats mostly. You see, I hid my porn as rar files embedded inside of jpegs. You have to know they're there to know to open it.

**Smkn_TA** · 08-04-2010, 03:57 PM

Short of trucrypt, I have the most foolproof system possible.

**86 IROC-Z** · 08-04-2010, 04:01 PM

Originally Posted by Smkn_TA

Short of trucrypt, I have the most foolproof system possible.

lol tc is actually what I use.

**Smkn_TA** · 08-04-2010, 04:21 PM

People that use tc for porn are obviously into sick sick shit. I'm talking swap.avi type bad.

**86 IROC-Z** · 08-04-2010, 05:00 PM

Originally Posted by Smkn_TA

People that use tc for porn are obviously into sick sick shit. I'm talking swap.avi type bad.

never heard of it, what is it?

**Smkn_TA** · 08-04-2010, 05:35 PM

swap.avi is NOT a troll video. Remember that, if you go looking for it, prepare yourself, cause you will find it. /b/tards won't post it. Never even seen someone request it on there.

Think, end all of end all scat/puke porn. And no I am not into it, but it was awesome to watch, lol.

**86 IROC-Z** · 08-04-2010, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by Smkn_TA

swap.avi is NOT a troll video. Remember that, if you go looking for it, prepare yourself, cause you will find it. /b/tards won't post it. Never even seen someone request it on there.

Think, end all of end all scat/puke porn. And no I am not into it, but it was awesome to watch, lol.

lol wtf? No thanks, 2 girls 1 cup was "awesome" enough for me