Younger generations don't say 'thank you' very much

**Kmcrlyn** · 03-12-2007, 07:18 AM

Can't reliably comment on hip hop culture - in austin there isnt a lot to be witnessed unless its coming from some while affluent kids... lol. But when I lived in Baltimore for a year I didnt think people were much different there in how they treated me...

**jad628** · 03-12-2007, 07:20 AM

Originally Posted by Kmcrlyn

I dont know whats wrong. Ive only been alive for 28 yrs - what I have noticed in my personal experience is that when I am having a bad day people can tell. I tend not to interact with people as much, to include not looking at them. When I am feeling good, as I do most of the time, I do tend to interact with people - smile, hold open doors, make eye contact etc...

So what I am saying is, that a lot of the time - how you carry yourself, your mood (as others perceive it), your stature, compared to those that you are interacting, with tend to effect how they treat you. Seeing as to how youre 6'3 and not a slight person - maybe you intimidate people a little more than the normal person. Just a thought. Since - the only time I notice a real lack of courtesy is when my mood or actions dictate it. For the very large part - I am polite and show courtesy to people and they return it. Just my experience...

Okay. I agree with a lot you have mentioned. Sure, there are days when you may not be as courteous as others, and I'm sure I get that way too. But when I hold the door, or I give the directions to THEIR question, it just doesn't seem reasonable for them to say nothing. I mean zip. Just an acknowledgement. It costs nothing. Another person took the time to do something advantageous for them and they don't even say thanks. Just hard to understand.

Yeah, I'm a pretty big guy, but I am not prone to look or act mean. What I NATURALLY look like may differ from that though. Actually, I prefer to be civil with people. I throw my hand up in greeting, shake hands, pound, hug, whatever. I like a good, peaceful, interaction with others whenever possible.

Thanks for the input to the question.

**Kmcrlyn** · 03-12-2007, 07:29 AM

Originally Posted by jad628

Okay. I agree with a lot you have mentioned. Sure, there are days when you may not be as courteous as others, and I'm sure I get that way too. But when I hold the door, or I give the directions to THEIR question, it just doesn't seem reasonable for them to say nothing. I mean zip. Just an acknowledgement. It costs nothing. Another person took the time to do something advantageous for them and they don't even say thanks. Just hard to understand.

Yeah, I'm a pretty big guy, but I am not prone to look or act mean. What I NATURALLY look like may differ from that though. Actually, I prefer to be civil with people. I throw my hand up in greeting, shake hands, pound, hug, whatever. I like a good, peaceful, interaction with others whenever possible.

Thanks for the input to the question.

No problem - I'm not saying that kids cant be punks but I know my children are polite, their cousins are polite etc. They say thank you, and please, and they appreciate it when people make an effort on their behalf. But, also like I said there are a lot of factors - certainly upbringing, respect and of course people do tend to physically gauge how to handle you by how much of a threat you could be. Even if someone witnesses you being really kind or polite, your size will inevitably effect the response you get in a lot of situations.

**jad628** · 03-12-2007, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by LordVader

I have noticed this as well...a very disturbing trend for sure.

Honestly I think it has alot to do with the current upswing in "thug" or "hip hop" culture. It's simply not cool to be polite and courteous anymore. I mean if some sidways hat wearin', baggy about to fall down jeans sporting mofo was to actually say "thank you" or "excuse me", it would be a total contradiction to the "life style" he is so erroneously trying to emulate.

I think for every degree off that a hat is not worn straight forward or facing straight back, the wearer looses 20 points per degree of his/her IQ...

I agree to a point, but I've had a few who really surprised me and were very polite and even somewhat enjoyable to converse with. I find the dress of these individuals quite strange too, but I'm looking for the true personality. I do notice a difference when they are alone versus being in a group.

From time to time I work concerts and get to hear the "I smell bacon" comment a good bit. For just that purpose I carry a sandwich bag with some cooked bacon in it. When I can find who said it, I walk right up to them and say "would you like a piece" as I show them the bag. The looks I get are priceless, and no one has taken a piece yet. I've actually had some pretty good conversations afterwards. I know a lot will view that as stupid, but the way I see it, somebody is showing-out in front of a group like a badass. I go right up to them and then what? They end up having to decide if they want to insult me to my face, or act like a reasonable person. Very, very, few feel like continuing with insults afterwards. At least 'til I walk away and that stuff doesn't matter because its cowardly. The few who want to be wity will be in my presence for the time it takes (and that's not what they really want). Either way works for me. Just be civil.

**Kmcrlyn** · 03-12-2007, 07:34 AM

As an FYI - my boyfriend, in person, is about your height and has a strong presence. I am not your height - being only 5 foot and slender. When he and I both make the same gesture in public, with the same intention - more often than not - people will be intimidated by him or find him unapproachable as opposed to myself, who most people find it easy to interact with. Their reaction could be taken as a lack of courtesy but instead a lot of the time, people just instinctively discourage communication with someone they find might be a threat.

**snaggeltooth** · 03-12-2007, 08:19 AM

Younger people are much ruder ... I always say , thank you , yes mam no mam or sir to people younger than me ... I will say thank you at a drive through and never get a your welcome or they just scream the am out back at me ...
Thing about manners is A, parents have to show their children what they are
B, they have to be unforced by the parents ...
You can train a dog to behave and they cant train their kids ....

**jad628** · 03-12-2007, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by Kmcrlyn

As an FYI - my boyfriend, in person, is about your height and has a strong presence. I am not your height - being only 5 foot and slender. When he and I both make the same gesture in public, with the same intention - more often than not - people will be intimidated by him or find him unapproachable as opposed to myself, who most people find it easy to interact with. Their reaction could be taken as a lack of courtesy but instead a lot of the time, people just instinctively discourage communication with someone they find might be a threat.

I can understand that. The part I don't understand is if they were to walk up to Modulistic and ask him for directions, he gives them, then they walk away without thanking him. The unapproachable part is no longer relevant. If they were intimidated by him, surely common sense would dictate not doing anything to provoke him. With that in mind, not thanking him seems to contradict this premise.

Which is exactly the point that I can't seem to grasp in all this.

**LordVader** · 03-12-2007, 08:55 AM

I am 6'5" and 240...I have been told that I have a very "commanding" presence.

I make it a point to have a smile on my face in almost any social situation to include work.

The fact that I'm having a bad day or not in a good mood is, IMHO, no excuse for me to not treat my fellow human being with respect and courtesy. Sorry, but I'm not buying that excuse. Nor am I buying the excuse that because someone has an imposing stature that is cause for rudeness. When I am in the presence of someone bigger than me, I tend to be a bit more friendly. I mean really, why would someone want to be an azzhat to someone that could pound 'em into the ground???

It makes no sense...

**LordVader** · 03-12-2007, 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by jad628

I can understand that. The part I don't understand is if they were to walk up to Modulistic and ask him for directions, he gives them, then they walk away without thanking him. The unapproachable part is no longer relevant. If they were intimidated by him, surely common sense would dictate not doing anything to provoke him. With that in mind, not thanking him seems to contradict this premise.

Which is exactly the point that I can't seem to grasp in all this.

And this backs up, IMHO, my first post. It's not cool to be polite...

**snaggeltooth** · 03-12-2007, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by LordVader

I am 6'5" and 240...I have been told that I have a very "commanding" presence.

I make it a point to have a smile on my face in almost any social situation to include work.

The fact that I'm having a bad day or not in a good mood is, IMHO, no excuse for me to not treat my fellow human being with respect and courtesy. Sorry, but I'm not buying that excuse. Nor am I buying the excuse that because someone has an imposing stature that is cause for rudeness. When I am in the presence of someone bigger than me, I tend to be a bit more friendly. I mean really, why would someone want to be an azzhat to someone that could pound 'em into the ground???

It makes no sense...

Because they fell threatened .. they dont want the big guy to think they are a push over ... Usually it is the smaller guys that cause much more trouble ...

**Kjz99z28** · 03-12-2007, 09:03 AM

I live on campus, so I'm always around "young people".. and I will say I notice it too. I personally make an effort to always say thank you, and be extra nice to everyone that works on campus, and smile at people when they walk by (if they'll even make eye contact), and to say "have a nice day" if I've been talking to someone. I've found that a lot of times, people are surprised and caught off guard when I say thank you. It doesn't happen as often as it should to them.

**jad628** · 03-12-2007, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by snaggeltooth

Because they fell threatened .. they dont want the big guy to think they are a push over ... Usually it is the smaller guys that cause much more trouble ...

Smaller guys do indeed sometimes (not always) have the more aggressive attitudes and I have always called it LMS (Little Man's Syndrome). Still, being rude AFTER someone has been courteous to you is more of a situation where you are causing friction rather than avoiding it.

The first teacher I had in martial arts training was probably close to 5'7". To this day, I'm convinced he would win a fight with me one-on-one, so it's not like I reserve respect for only those I can feel superior to.

I'm quite the opposite. I realize that on any given day, luck is the deciding factor in your fate. You can only prepare for the worst and deal with it accordingly.

**snaggeltooth** · 03-12-2007, 09:09 AM

Originally Posted by jad628

Smaller guys do indeed sometimes (not always) have the more aggressive attitudes and I have always called it LMS (Little Man's Syndrome). Still, being rude AFTER someone has been courteous to you is more of a situation where you are causing friction rather than avoiding it.

The first teacher I had in martial arts training was probably close to 5'7". To this day, I'm convinced he would win a fight with me one-on-one, so it's not like I reserve respect for only those I can feel superior to.

I'm quite the opposite. I realize that on any given day, luck is the deciding factor in your fate. You can only prepare for the worst and deal with it accordingly.

like Lemmy says " easy to be crual , Hard to be kind ."

**LordVader** · 03-12-2007, 09:14 AM

I know I'm a nOOb here but this is an interesting post guys/gals...

I have been pondering this phenomenon for about three years now. I have known kids who were brought up to show respect and be polite and sometimes it takes, but most times it doesnt unfortunately.

The only logical conclusion that I can draw is what I have already lamented.

It's just not cool...

Look at the garbage they listen to and watch. Have you EVER known of a rapper or hip-hop artist (or grunge/alternative rock artist for that matter) that has shown an ounce of respect for ANYONE in there "work"?

I sure haven't...

The one common theme that I have seen from them is anger, revenge, self centeredness, greed and violence.

The exact same things that seem to be important to a very large portion of today's youth.

But alas, I have resolved myself to be true to my upbringings. I hope that someday my saying "thank you" or "excuse me" or holding a door for someone will impact them in a positive way...

**snaggeltooth** · 03-12-2007, 09:15 AM

Originally Posted by LordVader

I know I'm a nOOb here but this is an interesting post guys/gals...

Hey , no worries ... We like to see new people posting up... Just watch for flamming or flammers

**jad628** · 03-12-2007, 09:15 AM

Originally Posted by LordVader

I know I'm a nOOb here but this is an interesting post guys/gals...

Thank you and welcome aboard.

Lots of interesting stuff here. Hope to see you here often.

**LordVader** · 03-12-2007, 09:28 AM

Thanks guys...

i like to lurk for a while before posting and really showing my arse...

Interesting that us 3 are about the same age and seem to hold somewhat same opinions on the subject...

As far as being able to take the heat, trust me, coming from corvetteforum.com and posting their OT section, I assure you this mofo can take ANYTHING

**Jeff Jones** · 03-12-2007, 09:32 AM

I believe that allot of the thanklessness is a product of this system we live in. Kids now days can get almost anything they want or need. I'm 42 years old and had a Stay at Home Mom (mom was always on me to be polite), and when we received a gift or something special I was very thank full. My kids get what ever they want and are in that thankless group, not always thankless but, do at times. I try and try to get them to say thank you and be polite, but with kids or even people now days is getting harder for them, when they have groan to just expect things with out having to work for them. People are becoming more haughty and self assuming.

**snaggeltooth** · 03-12-2007, 09:42 AM

When we were growing up the average family was Mom, Dad, and 2 or more kids .... No days the average family is a broken home with only a working Mom .......I believe apathy is taking a hold on the whole nation ...

**SexOnWheels** · 03-12-2007, 09:43 AM

Originally Posted by LordVader

I know I'm a nOOb here but this is an interesting post guys/gals...

It is good to come out of lurking as your name/handle has stuck out for me.

As far as this thread is concerned who would not be intiminated by Lord Vader himself?

Welcome!