parenting 101

**0rion** · 04-27-2012, 11:32 PM

I started using a different technique a month or so ago. It started with Chloe losing her DSi. It just came up missing one day and she had no idea where it was. After she tore the house apart looking for it and then her mom went through everything in her room looking for it we kinda came to the conclusion that it was left on the bus or something.

When the kids do certain things around the house I pay them for it. It works out kind of like an allowance but I don't give them money for nothing....they have to earn it. Cleaning your room or picking up after yourself doesn't earn you money. That's expected. Picking up all the sticks in the yard before I mow ( we have 30-40 trees) earns you $1. Bringing home an A from school earns $1. Things like that.

When it was decided Chloe's DS was just gone I made her go get her piggy bank and I took all her money from her....... $14.

That pissed her off so I figured I was onto something. Zach broke my shop broom horsing around with it after I had told him not too......cost him $5. He forgot for the umpteenth time to clean the cat's littler box........$5. Seems to be working so far because Zach hasn't forgotten the litter box since. Chloe still has no money to take but I found her DS tonight so she gets to get back on the payroll now at least. They don't get the money back that I've already taken but they can earn more. Zach is a saver so taking his money really pisses him off.

It's much more enjoyable for me too because I really don't like spanking their butts. I'll do it but I hate it. It's a necessary evil but I probably feel worse than they do after I'm done.

**blackSS01** · 04-27-2012, 11:52 PM

Interesting idea you have there. We pay my GF's kid for good grades and cleaning/litter box detail but taking money when he misses might help him remember

I'll run it past the Mrs since it's her boy.

**0rion** · 04-28-2012, 12:00 AM

My wife's dad had a good one I think I'm going to use also. He built a "Saturday" box and put a lock on it. Anything he found laying around the house or yard went in the box and he only opened the box up on Saturday for them to get their stuff. If shoes were left in the floor they went in the box and the kids went without that pair until Saturday.

**blackSS01** · 04-28-2012, 12:09 AM

He only has 1 pair minus soccer shoes so that wont work

**blackSS01** · 04-28-2012, 09:36 PM

Talked it over with her and we are going to give it a try. I'll let you know how it works for us 0rion

**KahanaReef** · 04-28-2012, 10:08 PM

That is pretty much the way I handled things. Although, I didn't rob his piggy bank

But, he broke it, he bought it. And I did pay him for things like keeping his room clean (but it had to be clean all week to get paid) or doing his laundry and had a list of other chores and the amount he'd get paid for doing them. If he didn't do any, he got squat. My son had a bad case of the 'wants', especially when it came to things like his skate boards, BMX racing and bike parts. Worked out really well. He knows the value of a dollar and works hard to earn his money. Oh, and he still has a bad case of the wants. Just bigger toys

**0rion** · 04-28-2012, 11:05 PM

Originally Posted by KahanaReef

That is pretty much the way I handled things. Although, I didn't rob his piggy bank

But, he broke it, he bought it. And I did pay him for things like keeping his room clean (but it had to be clean all week to get paid) or doing his laundry and had a list of other chores and the amount he'd get paid for doing them. If he didn't do any, he got squat. My son had a bad case of the 'wants', especially when it came to things like his skate boards, BMX racing and bike parts. Worked out really well. He knows the value of a dollar and works hard to earn his money. Oh, and he still has a bad case of the wants. Just bigger toys

the value of a dollar is really a good trait to have. There's nothing wrong with paying them for chores....it's the same as an allowance really except they have to earn it. I just choose not to pay them for things that I expect them to do. We tried the chore list on the fridge deal with an allowance but that was more of a pain in the ass than anything else. As far as the wants.....I'm 41 years old and I still have them.

I'm not sure it ever goes away. My dad had them until the day he died. I remember about a year before he died he got on this kick of wanting a Fiero. He was constantly talking about buying a fiero. My dad was 6'4 and 300+ pounds.

Not exactly fiero material. Before that it was an el camino.

**blackSS01** · 04-28-2012, 11:11 PM

I always want something

**Too Fast** · 04-29-2012, 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by 0rion

I started using a different technique a month or so ago. It started with Chloe losing her DSi. It just came up missing one day and she had no idea where it was. After she tore the house apart looking for it and then her mom went through everything in her room looking for it we kinda came to the conclusion that it was left on the bus or something.

When the kids do certain things around the house I pay them for it. It works out kind of like an allowance but I don't give them money for nothing....they have to earn it. Cleaning your room or picking up after yourself doesn't earn you money. That's expected. Picking up all the sticks in the yard before I mow ( we have 30-40 trees) earns you $1. Bringing home an A from school earns $1. Things like that.

When it was decided Chloe's DS was just gone I made her go get her piggy bank and I took all her money from her....... $14.

That pissed her off so I figured I was onto something. Zach broke my shop broom horsing around with it after I had told him not too......cost him $5. He forgot for the umpteenth time to clean the cat's littler box........$5. Seems to be working so far because Zach hasn't forgotten the litter box since. Chloe still has no money to take but I found her DS tonight so she gets to get back on the payroll now at least. They don't get the money back that I've already taken but they can earn more. Zach is a saver so taking his money really pisses him off.

It's much more enjoyable for me too because I really don't like spanking their butts. I'll do it but I hate it. It's a necessary evil but I probably feel worse than they do after I'm done.

Laughed at that one. Kyle and Natalie remember to do things when $$$ is involved also.

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 04-29-2012, 01:41 PM

I discipline mine by flushing them down the toilet.

***SMWS6TA*** · 04-30-2012, 08:42 AM

My daughter ( 8 ) wanted to see that stupid Pirate movie this past weekend, she was told to clean her room up. About 2 hrs prior to show time I asked is it clean, she goes kinda. My response was "well we'll kinda watch the movie" She runs back into her room. 40 mins later she comes out saying it was half down. I told her " Well we will just watch 1/2 the movie then." She storms back into her room.

Me <

wife - don't be such an ass
Me - you're then one that complains about always picking it up, I'm just supporting you

while giving her this face...

About 5 mins before we have to leave I come to check on it and she pushes me back out saying she's not finish to give me 5 mins. She comes and get's me and says its ready. It's cleaned enough, but compared to how it was, it was 1000x better.

**0rion** · 04-30-2012, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by SMWS6TA

My daughter ( 8 ) wanted to see that stupid Pirate movie this past weekend, she was told to clean her room up. About 2 hrs prior to show time I asked is it clean, she goes kinda. My response was "well we'll kinda watch the movie" She runs back into her room. 40 mins later she comes out saying it was half down. I told her " Well we will just watch 1/2 the movie then." She storms back into her room.

Me <

wife - don't be such an ass
Me - you're then one that complains about always picking it up, I'm just supporting you

while giving her this face...

About 5 mins before we have to leave I come to check on it and she pushes me back out saying she's not finish to give me 5 mins. She comes and get's me and says its ready. It's cleaned enough, but compared to how it was, it was 1000x better.

we go through kinda the same things here although I'm not as nice as you are about it

They get told once by me and I tell them up front don't come and get me until it's clean because if I go in there and it's not clean they're not doing whatever it was they wanted. I also put a time limit on it because if I don't they'll spend the entire day cleaning their rooms ( playing).

***SMWS6TA*** · 04-30-2012, 12:30 PM

It's only recently that I have to get involve. My wife usually handles that stuff. I have a tendency to go from mild like above to Drill Sergeant mode if I get pissed off from them doing stupid crap. So she keeps me out of it mostly and reminds me I'm not still in the Army....

A while back I was raising my nephews as well as my 2. The nephews had decided to push their limits and disappear for a while with their friends. After about an hr I went hunting for them, found them acting like fools for some girls in their class. I can't remember what I said exactly but they turn beet red, quickly said good bye and got in the car as fast as they could to prevent further embarrassment.

After that we had no issues with curfew violations

**0rion** · 04-30-2012, 01:29 PM

I probably would've locked the door and left a tent and sleeping bag on the porch for Zach.

***SMWS6TA*** · 04-30-2012, 01:43 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

I probably would've locked the door and left a tent and sleeping bag on the porch for Zach.

Wife wouldn't let me

I see we think very much a like.....

**KahanaReef** · 04-30-2012, 07:58 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

I probably would've locked the door and left a tent and sleeping bag on the porch for Zach.

Sounds like something my Dad would have done

**allbaugh_04** · 05-01-2012, 11:03 AM

I think punishment is a good idea, and I really like your idea, but at the same time. You have their mind on "money" a lot.

**0rion** · 05-01-2012, 11:27 AM

Originally Posted by allbaugh_04

I think punishment is a good idea, and I really like your idea, but at the same time. You have their mind on "money" a lot.

I know what you're saying but it isn't like that. If you saw how they were about money you'd understand. Zach saves every dollar he gets. It's pretty hard to get him to actually spend it usually. He has to want something pretty bad before he'll spend it. Right now he's saving for a set of drums and he won't buy anything else until he has the drums. That should get good because mom doesn't want him to have drums. I want to be in the room when he tells her he has enough money to buy them.

Chloe is a little different....at 5 she still doesn't have a real good grasp on what a dollar buys. She just knows having money is a good thing and me taking it is a bad thing.

Teaching about money is a slippery slope. I don't want them to be focused completely on money but they need to understand having money is important and what it takes to get it. They're a lot more spoiled than I was when I was their age and we've definitely made some mistakes with them but I'm able to give them more than my parents gave me so why not?

I found this funny. When we found out we were having a 3rd kid a couple months ago Zach and Chloe were really excited. They really wanted another brother or sister around. Most likely just someone else to beat the shit out of.

Anyhow, we were eating dinner one night talking about the baby. I told them " One thing you guys haven't thought of is all the toy money gets split 3 ways now instead of 2." The look on Zach's face was priceless. He definitely had an "OH SHIT!!" moment.