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Thread: Is my mom or girlfriend right?
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01-26-2011, 06:12 AM #1
Is my mom or girlfriend right?
I havent been on the boards in a while, but I know the people around here are good for advice and will be unbiased since no one knows my girlfriend or parents.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 months. shes 19 and im a 24 year old guy. She came from a rough background alcoholism in her family and had to deal with the death of a parent at a young age. She moved in with a drug addict roommate and partying became a priority. I come from a good parents that dont drink but have alcoholism in my family but most the alcoholics in my family passed away. Since I have seen tragedy due to alcohol, I dont like it and my fathers mother was and alcoholic and dealt with it from 16 till the day she died.
My girlfriend gave up bartending for me and going to the bars without me, which is a huge thing to me and i appreciate it, but I still dont like the alcohol since it is a big part of her life and she drinks without control and gets nasty. she also gave up coke because her room mate does it and i told her im not dating someone that does coke. Unfortunately her roommate and her roommates kid seem to be her main priority and she is a huge negative influence and when my girlfriend gets drunk around her, she takes her roommates side.
Since my girlfriend doesnt have a car, id let her use mine for everything (work, school, etc). well she was taking her roommates kid to school in it and if the kid got hurt in my car, i could be in a huge lawsuit. (the roommate is currently in a lawsuit) i wasnt crazy on the idea, but i didnt want to start a fight. well my parents found out about it and when we were at my parents house, my mother confronted her about it, which started a huge fight. my girlfriend then stuck up for her roommate again and called her and she got picked up and we broke up. she then posted not exactly nice stuff about my mother on facebook which really pissed my mom off.
My mom gave me the ultimatum, if i go with her, i better start looking for a new job because they dont want to support me when im supporting dating an alcoholic that puts her roommate first, disrespects her etc. my girlfriend said that i need to tell my mom to keep out of our lives and its none of my business what my car is used for.
I care for this girl so much and im not sure if she will give up her roommate and her kid and the alcohol. i really have no clue what to do. I see my moms point where she wants whats best for me but i see my girlfriends side where she said its none of her business. All i know is it sucks and i keep thinking about the things she gave up like her guy friends and spends all her time with me. The thought of her going back to the bars and turning back to that mess is killing me. My parents are exteremely close to me and have helped me out a lot. They hate to see me wait on her and and foot because i literally cater to her. They get resentful to see toward that. But i get resentful when they say stuff about my car.
Thanks in advance
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01-26-2011, 06:13 AM #2
Mom. Don't be blinded by the pussy.
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01-26-2011, 06:17 AM #3
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Bright Red- 1999 Trans Am Ws6
Your 24 and your parents support you? LAME. If your parents support you, they control you. Get a real fucking job and make your own damn decisions. And keep parents away from her. I dated a girl for half a year before she ever met my parents.
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01-26-2011, 06:19 AM #4
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01-26-2011, 06:21 AM #5
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[]D [] []V[] []D- 1999 trans am
you mom is right man... sounds to me that you give more than you get out of your relationship with her... do you like her or the idea of her??? are you hoping for her to become something that she currently is not???
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01-26-2011, 06:23 AM #6
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Black- Murdered 2006 GMC Sierra
Your a 24 year old(kid) attempting to raise a child(her) for lack of better words. Very simply you get ONE family! 19 year old dumb chics are a dime a dozen. There is way to much drama with this one anyway. Nevermind the fact that she publicly blasted your mom.
Here is what my Crystal ball(from experience) says.You choose the girlfriend things end badly, for one reason or another. I'm guessing the coke starts again. Your mom held true to here ultimatum, and now your jobless, girlfriendless, and more importantly family problems.
RUN from here as fast as possible.
Do not stay with her just out of fear that the roommate may sue you. If she is gonna actually sue you it will happen either way. That is what insurance is for.
There is nothing you can say about her to ever get my vote to keep the girlfriend.
SHE WILL NEVER BE WIFE MATERIAL.
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01-26-2011, 06:24 AM #7
ok Beyond the whole mother vs. girlfriend thing look at it like this, your g/f is doing very immature things that can drag your ass down with her.Not to mention she could wreck your car, flip out and have you arestted because of lies ect. get rigd of her just for those reasons.
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01-26-2011, 06:34 AM #8
sorry bro u gotta cut her loose. not much older than you but I had a girl with a situation similiar to yours that I was crazy for from the age of 21-25. listen to me i regret choosing her over what everyone told me. spare yourself now man. its gonna hurt now but it will get better.
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01-26-2011, 06:43 AM #9
Thanks for the responses. Before the flaming begins about working for my parents, I have been part of the company all my life and have many responsibilities in graphic design.
Back on topic, my parents are aggravated because she gave up bartending for me and going out to bars without me because I told her I wouldn't tolerate that. They feel that it shouldn't come down to that for someone to stop something that is going to harm a relationship.
When we get along, things are good. I want to believe that she is truly going to give up her roommate and the alcohol. Since now she moved out of there, is making school a priority and is looking for a job, it even makes it harder. My parents just don't believe it because she's 19 alcohol has been her life in the past and thinks things are boring unless alcohol is involved.
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01-26-2011, 06:48 AM #10
notsureifsrs.jpg
Always listen to your mom over a gurlfriend, when she's wife then things change a bit. You've been dating her for 3 fucking months, wtf is she doing at your home? How the fuck are you gonna let her badmouth your mother? I'm not even gonna rag on you for living with your paents. This girl is pure trouble and yes she gave up things but not for your good, its for her good. How is she gonna disrespect you by telling you that you have no right over your car that your lending her? Dude come on!!
Was she using the viper or the escalade?
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01-26-2011, 06:50 AM #11
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- Retired Outlaw Sum Bitch
Well....and I did not read all the responses....or your text......my take on this is pretty simple...to have your Mom as you girlfriend is probably not a good idea. I know I am old but nevertheless....I dont think it will work out.
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01-26-2011, 06:52 AM #12
Sounds to me like you have a pretty cut and dry choice. Move out and get a better job to support the girlfriend or dump the girlfriend and let it be. Pretty simple.
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01-26-2011, 06:56 AM #13
Mom. Period. End of Story.
Women will come and go.
But your mom will always be there.
Your chick is typically labeled a "loser" in other parts of the country.
And WHY WHY WHY are you still living at home at 24?
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01-26-2011, 06:57 AM #14
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01-26-2011, 07:00 AM #15
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01-26-2011, 07:01 AM #16
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01-26-2011, 07:12 AM #17
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
I'm sorry, but drop the girl and get your own place to live.
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01-26-2011, 07:14 AM #18
I was in a 5 year relationship prior to this and my ex fiance wasnt allowed to move out but she wanted to spend all her time with me, so I lived there. After the breakup, It took a lot of family support to get my life back on track since she was my life. I lost most of my friends because of her so talking to my parents and being around them helped a lot. Now I got them back finally and me and my one friend are supposed to look at renting a condo, but he said if I have intentions of staying with her, forget about it.
And you are correct, she would be classified as a loser to many, but I her saying she is changing. But after reading most of these posts, I think I know what to do.
And she was driving the Escalade, the viper is tucked away for winter. They just felt that she should have had enough common sense to not be hauling around someone elses kid when Im nice enough to let her borrow it for school and when she was working and pay for the gas.
Another negative was how she wanted me to buy her alcohol, wanted to drink in my car, and show up at my house not exactly sober.
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01-26-2011, 07:16 AM #19
She was driving your escalade too? Lol. Maybe this drunk has just been using you. Get rid of her. If she wants to change, let her do it before she drags you down with her.
And I'm not giving u shit about living at home at 24. I have a 32 year old friend that still lives with his parents..........lol.
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01-26-2011, 07:26 AM #20
this girl sounds perfect for you....propose.
That's what you're wanting to hear right? I'm guessing that because of you defending her in the original post and even after 8 posts basically telling you what everyone here except you knows you're still defending her or painting her as a saint. Saying I've used forever.....you can only polish a turd so much before it gets mushy.
Don't walk away from this chick....run. They're dime a dozen and you may get lucky and find one that isn't a druggy, alcoholic, loser.
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