Divorce

[IH8EVRY1]

OP...do you know if she is clinically depressed? From the first post, it sounds like she is and she is looking for acceptance from you or others.

I think she is. I'm no doctor so I can't say that she is for certain and she's never been diagnosed. I and others have told/recommended to her that she should see a doctor. She will nod her head and say yup but wont do anything about it. Short of picking her up, putting her in the car and taking her to the hospital I don't know what to do. I do know that if I were to do that it would end in a bad way. She'd probably try to gouge my eyes out or something insane.

[silverWS6]

Scanned through looking for pics and didn't see any.... Possible thread ban for the OP?

[cammed goat]

That does suck. It's like they can be happy and sad at the same time and you feel helpless. The only advice I can give you is if she DOES seek approval from you and others that she cannot save everyone or make everyone happy. When one seeks approval from others, it can weigh heavily on that person. I remember when I was an honorary deputy for the county sheriff, we had a seminar and our sargents told all of us that we "don't wear a red "S" on our chests", but at least we saved a few lives out there". That statement calmed my @$$ down on the spot and made me realize I am not able to please everyone. Hopefully she will get help and come around and all will be back to smooth sailing.

[SeVeReDiStOrTiOn]

Sounds like she's been done for awhile....and cheating for many years too. I feel bad for you and the kids but you need to get away from her.

[SScott]

You can have her held for 72 hours if you think she's a danger to herself or others.

[konigandy6]

Shitty situation... I'm sorry you have to go through it. I can no way understand what you're going through with the kids, but rewind 1 year ago, and I was in the same boat.

My wife at the time never trusted me, and was one of those people who would go through my phone while I'm in the shower, ask me, "who was that?!" everytime I got off the phone. I knew something was up. The night of our 1 year anniversary, we got home from dinner and she immediately says she's going out. I ask where are we going to which she replies, "Well I didn't think you wanted to go..." So I calmly said ok, and let her leave. She comes home at 2:30am and I'm sleeping on the couch. She goes to bed. I don't speak to her for 3 days until finally she says, "We need to talk." She was the one who suggested a divorce and that set the ball in motion.... Of course it was months later when I found out she had been cheating on me, which I honestly wish I would have never known.

Most women are just looking for the bigger and better deal, all the time. From what you've been saying, it appears she has already found the next bigger and better thing(so she thinks). I am 100% just like you in the sense that everything has to be thought of logically and not emotionally. Maybe that's our downfall (as guys). Maybe these feminine counterparts need us to think irrationally and be overdramatic too... Who knows.

There really is no good way this can end. If you stay with her, there will be thoughts of ill will and infedelity and general distrust in the back of your mind. And if you split up the kids will suffer the blow. I do not envy your situation and the decisions you are about to make. The way I got through mine is I just kept appeasing her every wish..... mostly with money. It was the sure fire way to keep her from trying to dig her hands into my stuff. Which was a huge problem since her mother was in her ear 24/7.

It sounds like your old lady and my ex should get together and have a nut kicking party.

Let us know how it goes OP... and again, I'm sorry you're in this situation.

[konigandy6]

Oh and also sorry for the long post.... didn't meant to TJ

[KahanaReef]

Well - personally, I don't believe two things here

1. She went out at 2 AM to "help" someone that got their vehicle stuck.
2. She was out "walking on the beach" and you couldn't find her.

I'm sorry, but she's fucking this guy from work.

I'd be looking up phone records to see the frequency of phone calls.

Hate to say it, but, this

OP...

My ex gave me some lame ass excuse about going to the beach one night. But, not a freaking grain of sand in his truck, shoes, clothes, nada... (guess he didn't think I'd check for that )

I can't believe he tried to tell me that with a straight face. He no longer has the opportunity to insult my intelligence Poor bastard is still kicking himself in the ass over it too. Karma is a bitch


I hope you can come to some kind of amicable agreement where the kids are concerned. And, if you really feel she could possibly put your kids in danger, you need to try and get custody.

Good luck to you.

[Blackbird WS6]

I've contemplated that she's screwing the guy from work...if she is...fuck it. I've dug up phone records and everything. I can't find a damn thing to indicate that she is screwing him. I have 3 sworn statements from guys I know about her driving drunk. I'm on leave from my police department for work with the military but 2 of the guys are also cops who don't do police work with me. I can swear to it also and have a pretty successful DUI history. I didn't do anything that night other than take her home when she showed up but I made a mental note of it all and the guys were all asked my WTF she was thinking.

I'm in wait mode with now. The balls in her court. I've done the lawyer thing and I know she has already. We are trying to go without it. She seems to want to cooperate. It's almmost like she knows that I'll legally slam her if she tries to screw me. I think I can go with the DUI thing and financial irresponsibility off the bat. I'm have a hard time proving manic depression type of stuff but I have friends who've seen her yelling at the kids for nothing. I almost lost my job once because she spanked our oldest for having a bad dream. He was crying and I didn't know why other than he'd had a bad dream earlier in the night. She spanked him and I realized what was going on about the 3rd swat. I had been in bed and running across the house I counted 4 more swats from our bedroom the his. She went into a gnarly arm bar because I yelled for her to stop and she didn't. I should have just called the police that night. She told my boss who was a friend and asked me what had happened. I was dumb for not calling the police. I was totally justified in the force I used on her but I was worried that I'd end up in jail over it all because I was a cop and I put my hands on my wife. THe county I lived in wasn't the one I worked in so I wasn't sure how I'd stand.

I seriously think she's bipolar.

I've made bad decisions myself but at this point I'm done. I want the best for my boys and I can't deal with her anymore.

Pending what she says when she gets home from the lawyer will determine my next action. I either continue to get along with her and we make decisions together or I'm going to have to crush hey (legally of course).

I'm so tired of the damn drama.

smart man......you understand, thats half the battle

[IH8EVRY1]

Scanned through looking for pics and didn't see any.... Possible thread ban for the OP?

Seriously dude... Ban me from the fucking thread...really dude...really...I wont say anything to really get me banned or to get me an infraction but I'm thinking it. Who gives a fuck...ban me, can't hurt me any worse than she has.

EDIT: Disregard all that I said above. If this turns out good for me in the next few months, I may post some NSFW pictures somewhere.

[cammed goat]

I'm sure he was only joking OP. Most likely trying to get your spirits up. These threads are sad and we try to keep each other on the up and up.

[Blackbird WS6]

I'm sure he was only joking OP. Most likely trying to get your spirits up. These threads are sad and we try to keep each other on the up and up.

hook the OP up with a NJ girl...........NOW thats funny

yea OP blame it on preston, its his fault lol

as was stated, we arr trying to livin it up some.....get a beer and a PBJ and have a laugh or 2

[IH8EVRY1]

I'm sure he was only joking OP. Most likely trying to get your spirits up. These threads are sad and we try to keep each other on the up and up.

Then good on me for holding my tongue...I am kinda smiling know that I think about it but I was looking at phone bills when I read that. The last time she ran off, I called her at 2:56 in the morning. She checked her voicemail twice in 2 minutes and called him at 2:59AM. I have his phone number now. I have a ruthless lawyer and tomorrow morning I'll have a PI. No more being nice.

Sorry if I'm too serious right now. I'll be back in with humor at some point but I'm steaming right now.

[cammed goat]

Then good on me for holding my tongue...I am kinda smiling know that I think about it but I was looking at phone bills when I read that. The last time she ran off, I called her at 2:56 in the morning. She checked her voicemail twice in 2 minutes and called him at 2:59AM. I have his phone number now. I have a ruthless lawyer and tomorrow morning I'll have a PI. No more being nice.

Sorry if I'm too serious right now. I'll be back in with humor at some point but I'm steaming right now.

Now THAT isn't good at all. Hopefully this dude has a VERY good reason for his actions.

[nhraformula]

better off single

[raynor139]

The last time she ran off, I called her at 2:56 in the morning. She checked her voicemail twice in 2 minutes and called him at 2:59AM. I have his phone number now. I have a ruthless lawyer and tomorrow morning I'll have a PI. No more being nice.

Getting a PI is a smart move. My brother went the threw the same type of deal you are. She was cheating, drinking, doing drugs, taking the kids to a bar where she proceeded to get drunk and blowing all his money at the same time. Her mother had the mindset it was a mans job to support her. In fact her own father ended up in jail b/c he was embezzling from a New Jersey police department to cover her credit cards and other bills her mother ran up. So in her eyes it was ok to do the same to my brother. When my brother finally told her to gtfo she agreed to if she got so much money. So our mother gave her the $1600 if she would sign away all the rights to the house. Dumb ass agreed to it on the spot and blew it all in a week on drugs. Also my brother got a PI on her plus my mom started documenting everything she did that harmed the well being of her family in some way. Come court time she didn't have a leg to stand on when all this evidence against her character came out. She got nothing in the divorce and he got full custody of the kids.

[IH8EVRY1]

Now THAT isn't good at all. Hopefully this dude has a VERY good reason for his actions.

I don't care what his reasons are. I'm a logical person and I know what his reasons are. Hell he graduated from high school 3 years ago. There's no questioning his reasons....it's her's that I'm worried about. I've busted my ass for the last 7 years for her and our boys and it sure appears like she's willing to throw it all away.

I'm actually finding humor right now. This kid is making my PI's work easy. His facebook page is open to everyone to look at and he has a picture with his house and his address clearly visible. He left a picture of his and I assume based on some of his posts, his parents license plates in plain sight in the pictures. Man you gotta love the internet. If they are screwing around...man that is dumb.

[infantryws6]

1. She is a cheating whore
2. Get a lawyer
3. Bitches are all crazy

[cammed goat]

I honestly don't understand military wives. Can't they be loyal to the end? I mean, there are SO many threads about military relationships going downhill. And it seems to be all cheating wives.

As far as this kid goes, he really needs to find himself a single woman. He painted a BIG red target on his backside.

[cammed goat]

I mean, I was at a bar in Hoboken years ago with a few friends of mine and a cop wife sat next to me and asked me if I wanted a drink, which I declined but thanked her for the offer. She told me she was married to a cop and spent all his money as soon as he made it and wanted to get together with me afterward, which I also declined.

My motto:

NEVER MESS WITH ANOTHER MAN'S WIFE.