Tales of Sarge....

[0rion]

The new priest, Sarge, is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.

Sarge hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand.... and try saying things like "Yes, I see," and "Yes, go on," and "I understand."

Sarge crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.

The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, "No sh*t... what happened next??"




A young woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. Sarge on horseback soon came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.

The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes Sarge would shout out a wild "Ye-e-e-e-e-ha-a-a-" so loud that it echoed off the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, she expressed her thanks, and Sarge yelled a final "Ye-e-e-e-e-ha-a-a!" and rode off.

"Why was Sarge so excited?" asked the service station attendant. "I don't know. I just rode behind him on the horse with my arms around his waist and holding onto the saddle horn so that I wouldn't fall off," the woman answered.

"Lady," the attendant said, "Sarge doesn't use a saddle."






Sarge was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped."

His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So Sarge did just that.

The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?"

"She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'."





Sarge's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine and Sarge came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not Sarge... he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother says, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about Sarge. I like Denise." Then she asks, "What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew."

[Spaz]

[ls1camino]

haha...nice.

[FORD RECOVERY EXPERT]

Here we go again......

[KahanaReef]

Here we go again......

Yep, it's about time too!

[SMWS6TA]

Thanks I needed the laugh

[Sarge]

Orion and his two other gay boyfriends decided to kill themselves. They figured the best way was to jump off the bank building. The first one landed on the road and it took two weeks to scrape him off the road. The second one landed on a car and it took two months to peel him off the car. Orion landed on a flagpole and it took two years to get the smile off his face!

[Sarge]

Orion and his homo boyfriend were visiting a zoo, when they found themselves at the gorilla cage. The gorilla was sitting there with a huge erection. Unable
to contain himself Orion reaches in to touch it.
As soon as his arm goes into the cage, the gorilla grabs him, and takes
him into the cage... slams him to the floor and fucks him senseless.
A few days later in hospital Orion's boyfriend visits and asks Orion if he is hurt...
"Hurt... Hurt... You bet I'm hurt. He hasn't phoned, he hasn't written..."

[SMWS6TA]

[Sarge]

Six buddies were seated at the bar, each trying to impress one another with
the size of their dicks. The bragging went on for almost an hour, and the
bartender got tired of hearing that shit, so he said, "Let's put an end to
all this crap and find out who's lying and who isn't. Each of you whip out
your dong and lay it on the bar." All six of then did.
Just at that moment Orion walked into the bar, and the bartender asked
him if he wanted a drink.
Orion looked down the bar, and in his lisping voice, he said, "No thanks,
I'll just have some of the buffet."

[KahanaReef]

Sc-hooch over....

[Sarge]

Orion and his homo boyfriend decide that they want to have a baby, but they don't want to adopt because they want the baby to be as close
to their own as possible. So they jack each other off into a cup
and have a doctor use their sperm to impregnate a female friend
of theirs. Nine months later, Orion and his fag boyfriend are looking at their
baby in the hospital nursery. All of the babies are crying and
screaming except for theirs. "Wow," Orion says, "Our baby
is the most well behaved one in here."
A nurse who happens to be walking by says, "Now he's quiet, but wait
till we take the pacifier out of his ass."

[Sarge]

Because of a bad case of hemorrhoids, Orion went to his doctor. The
physician prescribed suppositories, but when it came time to use them the Orion was afraid he would do it wrong. So he went into the bathroom and, bending over, looked through his legs into the mirror to line up the target. All of a sudden, Orion's weenier became stiff and blocked his view. "Oh, stop it," Orion said to his pecker, "it's only me!"

[Sarge]

Q: How does Orion fake an orgasm?
A: He spits on his boyfriends back.

[Sarge]

Orion and his fag boyfriend are in a hot tub pushing a big turd back and forth in the water. Another fag walks by and asks, "What the hell are you two doing?"
"We are teaching our baby to swim!"

[Sarge]

Orion and the doctor are walking out of the delivery room after his wife gives birth to their son.
Orion says, "How long before we can have sex?"
The doctor says, "At least wait until he's walking."

[Sarge]

Orion and Elton, homosexual lovers, went hiking.
Orion ducked behind a bush when he felt nature calling.
Suddenly Orion cried out, "How terrible! I miscarried! I miscarried! Here is a little arm! There is a little leg! This is so awful!"
"Shut up Orion, you fucking idiot!" Elton scolded. "You just shit on a frog!"

[Sarge]

Q: What happened when Orion and his two queer buddies attacked a women?
A: Two of them held her down, and Orion started doing her hair.

[c5z28]

Fucking great

[SMWS6TA]

Did Sarge have to take a nap to recharge after that vent? that was some seriously funny chit!