Sticky: Is your significant other Preggerz?

[blacksmoke99]

Thanks to the vast information and or expierence that LS1 members hold, I decided to collect some of that wealth of knowledge and do a write-up to something that is very likely to happen in the LS1 Community, given the fact that having an LS1 automatically makes your cock wanted by all females. And that kind of attention my friends, only brings trouble.


Situation 1: You jizzed in the vagina and (a) your not wearing a condom or (2) your cheap condom that has been permanently tri-folded by your wallet...BROKE

Condom Broke: I have learned that spermicides in the condom might help the situation, although overrated...It might just be that little bit of light your looking for.

Some condoms are lubricated at the manufacturer with a small amount of nonoxynyl-9. According to Consumer Reports, spermicidally lubricated condoms have no additional benefit in preventing pregnancy, have a shorter shelf life, and may cause urinary-tract infections in women.[23] The World Health Organization says that spermicidally lubricated condoms should no longer be promoted. However, they recommend using a nonoxynol-9 lubricated condom over no condom at all.[24]

In contrast, application of separately packaged spermicide is believed to increase the contraceptive efficacy of condoms.[1]

After establishing that you potentially might be a dad, ask the cum dumpster whens the last time she was on the rag.

I have also learned that there is a 7 day window of opportunity, if you will, that makes it almost impossible to get someone pregnant. Also, sperm is stupid.


No Condom:

Ahh...you think that you can always just pull out, right? Well sometimes men ejaculate small loads of semen without knowing. So what now? Well, Ive also learned that the Falcon Punch might be of help. Ive composed a step by step write up of how to properly perform this move.

The best way to deliver a quick, effective Falcon Punch is by cocking your fist back, throwing your chest out, and screaming FALCOOOOON! at the top of your lungs. The scream should slowly increase in pitch and volume and gather power as it continues, until youve gathered enough win in your hand to crushfuck the undesired fetus. Then, unleash the gathered fury in your fist and use it to abort your girlfriends illegitimate child, whilst using a new scream that simply states the action you are doing at that very moment: PUUUUNCH!

Disclaimer: The Falcon Punch may also be used if the bitch doenst wanna make you a sammich.

Most Importantly, you still might be paranoid, even after completing all these steps. So in times of emergency, I introduce...Plan B...The best thing since sliced bread.

Plan B is an emergency contraceptive pill (levonorgestrel). When taken within 72 hrs. of sexual intercourse where no other contraceptive was used, or what was used didnt work, Plan B decreases the risk for pregnancy by almost 90%. Its available over the counter,although you have to be 18 to buy it, but if you dont look like a 13 year old fag, youll probably wont be carded. Its different from the abortion pill, which actually causes an early rejection of the embryo, AFTER the woman is already pregnant. Plan B INTERFERES with the process of fertilization, BEFORE it happens. It doesnt protect against STDs though.






IF ALL FAILS:



CAUTION:ONLY TO BE USED IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

Perform the OVARY PUNCH

One: Remember, an ovary punch is strictly a retaliatory act, therefore, the process should begin with the victim in the state of falling down. Spaghetti legs are a normal consequence of getting hit in the nads, which is why, as I stated earlier, an immediate vengeful kick is physically impossible. However, the victim should maintain his balance and land on one knee. It is very crucial to the process that this step be performed properly, with the victim preferably positioning steadily on the knee that is on the same side as his punching hand. For example, it is advisable that a right-handed man kneels with his right leg.

Step Two: Once you’ve managed proper footing, PUNCH THAT BITCH IN THE OVARIES.





There you go, it’s as easy as that. I feel that the world is a better, safer place for men, now that I have conveyed my wisdom that I have aquired here at LS1, to you, the audience.

[86 IROC-Z]

Seriously, get a hobby.


























Because soon you won't have the time or money for one.

[Spaz]

just pour clorox in her vagina... that is fail proof...

[third_shift|studios]

I've mastered the art of pulling out

[tonyjnjz]

just pour clorox in her vagina... that is fail proof...

i thought pee worked spaz? are u giving me false information?

[tonyjnjz]

ive used that falcon punch before..........very effective!!! just dont do it in front of her family


ill be out of prison in aug 2009

[1fastcamarosss11]

I've mastered the art of pulling out

ummm.......... ok 2 easy

get your parts yet?

[Spaz]

ummm.......... ok 2 easy

get your parts yet?

"are you in yet?"
"i'm done..."

[hoss 2000 z-28]

Falcon Punch FTW

[SexOnWheels]

ummm.......... ok 2 easy

get your parts yet?

"are you in yet?"
"i'm done..."

Zing!

Set yourself up for that one bro!

[Spaz]

Zing!

Set yourself up for that one bro!

[SexOnWheels]

@ the TS here is the avatar you need to replace your current one:

[FasstChevys]

"are you in yet?"
"i'm done..."

[Nitro_Junkie97]

@ the TS here is the avatar you need to replace your current one:

i just laughed for like 10 minutes

[blacksmoke99]

@ the TS here is the avatar you need to replace your current one:

OMG..... USER CP USER CP USER CP

[M-Ten]

Lol blacksmoke, I think your threads are my new favorite