Inappropriate Woman Jokes..........

[LS2Tuner]

Well I got a text message yesterday from one of my boys back east and it was so great I felt the need to share it with the rest of you.

Who is the most perfect female in ALL history....?
Ms.PacMan- 25cents and she will swallow til she dies!


Why do woman wear underwear...?
Cause state law states that all manholes must be covered!


Please share any good ones you might have.

And I'm not trying to offend any females on here in any way so PLEASE don't take offense to my jokes.

[RavensFan19]

Who's fault was it that I hit the woman with the car?
Mine, I shouldnt have been driving in the kitchen.

Why doesn't a woman need an umbrella?
It never rains between the bedroom and the kitchen.

What is the first thing a woman should do when she comes back from the battered wives meeting?
The dishes if she knows what is good for her.

What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.

This girl goes to a supermarket to buy some groceries. She picks up 1 tube of toothpaste, 1 thing of mouthwash, 1 cut of meat, 1 of everything. She gets to the check-out line and the guy behind the cash register rings her up. After he finishes he looks at her and says "Hmm...you must be single, huh?" and she smiles and replies "Yea I am, haha, was it the 1 of everything that tipped you off?" and he quickly responded "No, it's cause you are ugly as shit!"

Why is Hellen Keller a bad driver?
Cause she is a woman.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog kill itself?
You would too if your name was mmmhhahhhwhhehhhwhhahhehrhhrhehs.

[JHayesLS1]

Why are womens feet so small?
So they can get closer to the sink.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None the woman should of already taken care of it

[slowagon]

Why shouldn't women be allowed to drive?
'cause there aren't any roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

[Myka]

Whats the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
You dont have to hug a washing machine after you drop a load in it.

[joerockhead]

............
This girl goes to a supermarket to buy some groceries. She picks up 1 tube of toothpaste, 1 thing of mouthwash, 1 cut of meat, 1 of everything. She gets to the check-out line and the guy behind the cash register rings her up. After he finishes he looks at her and says "Hmm...you must be single, huh?" and she smiles and replies "Yea I am, haha, was it the 1 of everything that tipped you off?" and he quickly responded "No, it's cause you are ugly as shit!"
.........................

[RavensFan19]

A father and his son were sitting out on the porch one afternoon...father enjoying his cold brew...son looking at a football magazine. The father, feeling 'fatherly', looks over to his son and goes "Son, you know that you can ask me anything, right?" The son looked at him and goes "Really? anything?" to which the father replied "Absolutely, I am an open book!"

To his surprise the son goes "Well ok Dad, I do have a question...what is the hairy area of a woman...you know...down there?" And the son sheepishly motions to the private area of the southern hemisphere.

The Dad replies "Well son, you probably have already heard this term before, but that is called a vagina."

The son, still looking confused, quickly replies with another question: "Well, if that is so, then what is a cunt?"

The father thought about it for a second, looked around, and quietly replied "Cunt is the rest of her."

[RavensFan19]

One day a father was showering and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.

The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and goes "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"

The father replied quickly "In about 15 minutes when your mother leaves for work."






OHHHHHHHHH....too soon?


Here is another terrible one:

In West Virginia, how does a daughter know her mother is on her period?
Her brother's dick tastes like iron.


I thank you.

[NE98LS1]

One day a father was showering and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.

The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and goes "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"

The father replied quickly "In about 15 minutes when your mother leaves for work."




OHHHHHHHHH....too soon?


Here is another terrible one:

In West Virginia, how does a daughter know her mother is on her period?
Her brother's dick tastes like iron.


I thank you.

wow, those are outrageous! haha

[NE98LS1]

why does a woman get married in white? so she matches the rest of the appliances

[LS1FirehawkWS6]

Whats the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
You dont have to hug a washing machine after you drop a load in it.

[derrinx]

One day a father was showering and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.

The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and goes "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"

The father replied quickly "In about 15 minutes when your mother leaves for work."






OHHHHHHHHH....too soon?


Here is another terrible one:

In West Virginia, how does a daughter know her mother is on her period?
Her brother's dick tastes like iron.


I thank you.

LMAOOOO...wow...

[pecha]

RavensFan19 - ROTFLMAO

[sgt0704]

what's the difference between a Zebra and a Woman Marine?

Zebra's don't have to lay on their backs to get their stripes.

[RavensFan19]

I love jokes like this.



Here are some more that I know of...pardon me if these offend someone...

Why are there no Mexicans on Star Trek?
Because Mexicans won't work in the future.

How do you starve a Mexican?
Put his food stamps under his work boots.


Why is the West Virginian State Sexual Position Doggy Style?
This way, every gets to watch Nascar!

What is the difference between Moosehead in Virginia and West Virginia?
In one state it is a beer and in the other it is a misdemeanor.

How do you put a dead baby in a bowl?
Blender.
How do you get it out?
Tortilla Chips.

[RavensFan19]

what's the difference between a Zebra and a Woman Marine?

Zebra's don't have to lay on their backs to get their stripes.

That is fucking hilarious!

[RavensFan19]

What is the best thing about fucking a 14 year old girl?
Home Movies.

What is the best thing about fucking a 12 year old girl?
Man your dick looks so big in their hands...

[RavensFan19]

Why doesnt a woman need a watch?
There is a clock on the oven and the microwave.

[RavensFan19]

What is the difference between batteries and a woman?
freezers don't extend a woman's life.

[RavensFan19]

What do you call the excess skin around the vagina?
Woman.