Domestic Dispute - Advice?

All right, everyone. I am in uncharted territory and want some opinions. I will try to keep this short.

Cliffs:

I want my non-lease holding girlfriend out of my apartment. I don't know my legal rights in the event I kicked her out.

The short version:

My girlfriend and I have been living together for roughly 2 years in Virginia. We have decided that this arrangement is no longer functional, so she will be moving out. Some of her belongings are boxed up and have been literally for months. I have been very patient, and sympathetic, to her staying in my apartment while she gets her affairs in order to include lining up a new place to stay. This has been going on for far too long now and I want her out. I care about her, but the time that has passed is unacceptable. I feel as though I cannot move forward in anything I do as long as she is in this transitional state.

If I were to be truly pissed off at her, and kicked her out, what are my rights? She is a registered as an occupant but is not a leaseholder. Further, Virginia is not a common-law marriage state, so I'm good there. Her driver's license lists our place as her domicile, as do her Checks, and bills (Bank, cellular phone, etc.) Is it within my legal right to, say, move all of her belongings into a U-Haul and change the locks, and never speak to her again if I so choose?

On a side note, when my ex-wife and I split years ago, she was fully out the door in 3 days. She didn't even have a car and managed just fine. I suppose that's one extreme. This situation is the other extreme. My girlfriend, though a good person at heart who is fun, is the polar opposite of proactive, is very defensive, and the most responsibility-shirking person I have ever known. She has good qualities too - it's why we're still technically together - but she's got to get out of my place.

Maybe you can fix the relationship. Just grabbing at straws for you, dude.

Her moving out will be the best fix I can fathom for us both. This is a very mutual feeling... first mentioned by her, and now championed by me. She needs to get out.

Anyway none of that is the point :) Thanks anyway

Check into your local housing laws. It sounds like she is a legal resident of the domicile, therefore you would have to go through an eviction process (serve her notice which would mean paying a sheriff to do so) through the courts. The other method is to just make her want to leave. If she's still comfortable, she wont go. Unfortunately, even though you want to keep the relationship, typically this is the beginning of the end. Just what you said about not being able to move forward while in this transitional state sounds like you want her out so you can find someone that makes you happy. I have been through the evicting a roomie/girlfriend thing, and its just my .02 cents on the rest. Good luck.

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Originally Posted by RandomOmen

Her moving out will be the best fix I can fathom for us both. This is a very mutual feeling... first mentioned by her, and now championed by me. She needs to get out.

Anyway none of that is the point :) Thanks anyway

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tell her she got a week to move out... if she isn't out call the police... what ever she doesn't have out of your house after that week is yours...

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Originally Posted by buswwa

Check into your local housing laws. It sounds like she is a legal resident of the domicile, therefore you would have to go through an eviction process (serve her notice which would mean paying a sheriff to do so) through the courts. The other method is to just make her want to leave. If she's still comfortable, she wont go. Unfortunately, even though you want to keep the relationship, typically this is the beginning of the end. Just what you said about not being able to move forward while in this transitional state sounds like you want her out so you can find someone that makes you happy. I have been through the evicting a roomie/girlfriend thing, and its just my .02 cents on the rest. Good luck.

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if her name is not on the lease agreement she is not legal resident... even if she pays rent...

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Originally Posted by ReBop

Maybe you can fix the relationship. Just grabbing at straws for you, dude.

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I disagree with Ms ReBop here....Dude, be corgile about ti and give her a time frame, like 2 weeks or the crap is going on the porch....tell her she has had more than enuff time to make arrangements.....
On a side note is she still upping it to you?...If not throw her out within the next 5 min....if so give her the 2 weeks.
Dr.Philhttp://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s...SGG-071515.jpg

Again, I dont know the laws in that state, but in CT if she is listed as occupant, and address is on drivers license, checking account, phone bill etc, she is considered a legal resident. Also more then 6 months of residence. But thats up here, and the laws here suck most of the time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by buswwa

Again, I dont know the laws in that state, but in CT if she is listed as occupant, and address is on drivers license, checking account, phone bill etc, she is considered a legal resident. Also more then 6 months of residence. But thats up here, and the laws here suck most of the time.

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i can't see how that would ever hold up as a law... people could probably use that to claim tax write offs...

I've spoken with the apartment complex. The manager said they've had tenants evict non-lease holder occupants before with the help of the police, but it gets touchy if it's obvious the occupant has official residence there. I was advised to tell her to GTFO and if she doesn't comply, call the police.

Anyway. Before this point I have been cordial and time tables to move have been set up before. They don't get adhered to for any number of reasons, and I won't cast blame though it's tempting. I'll admit part of the problem is I have trouble enforcing the ramifications of not following the time tables, mostly because I do care about her but secondly because it's easy to be sympathetic when you have an attractive woman running around half naked. Just saying.

How long has this been going on? When did the relationship end?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RandomOmen

I've spoken with the apartment complex. The manager said they've had tenants evict non-lease holder occupants before with the help of the police, but it gets touchy if it's obvious the occupant has official residence there. I was advised to tell her to GTFO and if she doesn't comply, call the police.

Anyway. Before this point I have been cordial and time tables to move have been set up before. They don't get adhered to for any number of reasons, and I won't cast blame though it's tempting. I'll admit part of the problem is I have trouble enforcing the ramifications of not following the time tables, mostly because I do care about her but secondly because it's easy to be sympathetic when you have an attractive woman running around half naked. Just saying.

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There in lies the real problem. If you want her out, her being nekkid shouldnt matter. If you really want her out, you have to forgo the pleasures of the flesh so to speak. Woman have two ways to sway men (as far as I've seen) that work sure fire. One is:moon: ass, the other is tears:(. To kick a woman out, you must ignore both. Ask my ex wife.

I say pics are in order. Then maybe we can see why your keeping her around.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RandomOmen

I've spoken with the apartment complex. The manager said they've had tenants evict non-lease holder occupants before with the help of the police, but it gets touchy if it's obvious the occupant has official residence there. I was advised to tell her to GTFO and if she doesn't comply, call the police.

Anyway. Before this point I have been cordial and time tables to move have been set up before. They don't get adhered to for any number of reasons, and I won't cast blame though it's tempting. I'll admit part of the problem is I have trouble enforcing the ramifications of not following the time tables, mostly because I do care about her but secondly because it's easy to be sympathetic when you have an attractive woman running around half naked. Just saying.

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Had a similiar situation with my ex. To make a long story short we were toghter for a few years then moved in toghter and shit went sour. My name was on everything, lease, electric, phone, cable. She was listed on the lease as a roomate(theres another legal term that they use on the lease I just don't remember what it was) so had to get her off it. To do that both me and her had to go to the apartment office and sign some paper work, not sure if that would have given her any legal edge to stay but she was willing to sign off on the paper work without much of a fuss. I moved out for about 2 weeks in which when I came back she was to have all her shit out she gave me some shit about not being able to find a place. That some stuff would have to get left behind and gotten at another time, I told her bullshit you and everything that is yours is to be out, If you leave anything behind it will be thrown out so don't bother coming back for it. Also changed the locks the day I returned, just in case. Just stand your ground and tell her to GTFO, if she does't put all her shit out side the door change the locks and be done with it.

Just kill her. Less hassle. And it could be fun thinking up creative ways to do it.

Since she's not on the lease all you need to give her is 30 days...if this goes to small claims for whatever reason most judges will see that as a reasonable amount of time. Sometimes not even that long but she has been living there for 2 years...soooo yea. Bring a witness along when you tell her she has 30 days and you'll be golden.

And yea I watch Judge Judy byoutches :flex:

Just do what I did..Put your Foot down.

I told my ex she had one week to get her shit out of the House. The House is on my name and she was only on the Deed. (she has been removed) And she was driving my CAR because it was Registered, insured and Finance on my NAME. I told her one week to get her shit out or I am throwing it out and One week to return the car or I am reporting it STOLEN!

Her being as a COP, last thing you want is to get pulled over in a Stolen Car. Big NONO!!

#1.
Common Law Marriage.
No idea of your state laws, but this may come into play.

#2.
Nudist.
Are we talking completely nude?? If so, I see your point.
But I would like pictures to verify.

#3.
It isn't working.
Why?

#4.
Sex.
Anyone else lined up??

#5.
Domestic Dispute
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

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Originally Posted by redls1

I say pics are in order. Then maybe we can see why your keeping her around.

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:iagree:... :wall:

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Originally Posted by redls1

I say pics are in order. Then maybe we can see why your keeping her around.

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Very well said

more than likely you will have to get her evicted, usually after someone moves in and establishes residency you have to evict her.

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Originally Posted by Spaz

if her name is not on the lease agreement she is not legal resident... even if she pays rent...

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Sorry, but that one is incorrect in many states. Once a person has stayed at a location for a reasonable amount of time, and has an established pattern of expectation of entry into the domicile, they are a resident there. Relationship does not matter. If you let a homeless guy crash on your couch long enough... he is a resident. If you let your deadbeat cousin crash on your couch long enough... he is a resident.

It's a strange area of law, but a person's right not to be tossed out on the street is a long-held part of common law, and has been enumerated into most states' laws.

All this "put her shit out and give an ultimatum" stuff is well and good for internet tough talk, but if the laws of your state are a resident-friendly as mine, you could be looking at serious legal trouble. I have answered dispatches to deal with your exact situation hundreds of times. Call your jursdictional authority and find out what the LAW says about how you go about removing her. Don't do anything to her stuff, change the locks, or bar her entry in any way until you have some type of verified information on the CORRECT way to get her removed... anything less could be a very costly mistake.

Most states require a 30 day notice for eviction... get it in writing, get that shit notarised even if its only you signing it(her too preferably), and give it to her. Make copies of it, and 30 days later, put her shit out the door and change the locks.

Perfectly legal, and still gives her plenty more time to move on. If you forcefully evict her earlier then that, she can take you to small claims for the "expenses" of finding a new place to live. She doesnt sound like the type that would do it, but hey, you never know.

This might not directly apply in your state, but its a good general rule of thumb because its the longest notice... I've seen states that require less, but none that require more.

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Originally Posted by B34M3R

Most states require a 30 day notice for eviction... get it in writing, get that shit notarised even if its only you signing it(her too preferably), and give it to her. Make copies of it, and 30 days later, put her shit out the door and change the locks.

Perfectly legal, and still gives her plenty more time to move on. If you forcefully evict her earlier then that, she can take you to small claims for the "expenses" of finding a new place to live. She doesnt sound like the type that would do it, but hey, you never know.

This might not directly apply in your state, but its a good general rule of thumb because its the longest notice... I've seen states that require less, but none that require more.

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Just be aware in many staes, only an officer of the court (usually a Sheriff's deputy or a marshall) can serve eviction papers, and the first paper service is a notification of a hearing in front of the court, where you both get to present to the judge for his/her consideration of whether or not to sign the writ, and how long the person has to move out.

The above quoted method may work in some states, but I would still check with your local jurisdiction to be sure. Improper eviction could leave you facing civil and/or criminal charges.

Donkey Punch! End of story.