Womens needs!

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03-19-2007, 07:04 PM
00ws6m6

Womens needs!

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
03-19-2007, 07:14 PM
ss~zoso~ss

wow man, that was awesome, women sicken me often times, but i still wanna fuck em

MAD PROPS
03-19-2007, 07:14 PM
ss~zoso~ss

you didnt buy her the shit did u ?
03-19-2007, 07:15 PM
bmyers

it was a joke he didnt really do it
03-19-2007, 07:20 PM
shadegray

Yeah, he just copy and pasted that story from somewhere else and didn't give credit, I read it like a year ago.
03-19-2007, 07:21 PM
ss~zoso~ss

mother f'er, i though somebody actually told a woman to get fucked for once
03-19-2007, 07:27 PM
bmyers

Quote:

Originally Posted by ss~zoso~ss

mother f'er, i though somebody actually told a woman to get fucked for once

i have, she laughed at me
03-19-2007, 07:30 PM
semicharmed

wow! you are so c-l-e-v-e-r!!! I'll be dying to meet someone like you!:Popcorn:

That's so hot!:lick:
03-19-2007, 07:37 PM
Speedy_Gonzales

funny stuff taking it to work tomorrow lol
03-19-2007, 08:10 PM
00ws6m6

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadegray

Yeah, he just copy and pasted that story from somewhere else and didn't give credit, I read it like a year ago.

it a joke site without the authers name dude not trying to take credit. just for laughs lolololololololo get it
03-19-2007, 08:22 PM
ls1bandit

welcome to 1998
03-19-2007, 08:27 PM
Secret Formula

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1...gry_Hammer.jpg
03-19-2007, 08:46 PM
Dax

Quote:

Originally Posted by Secret Formula

Ha ha- that is freaking awesome!
03-19-2007, 08:51 PM
Secret Formula

yeah I found it on some ricer forum called "street scene" or somthing like that.
03-20-2007, 05:30 AM
Nastyfoot

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmyers

it was a joke he didnt really do it

Who gives a shit. It's still funny
03-20-2007, 05:42 AM
98-LS1

Wish I could pull something like that on my useless woman, I haven't been laid in a few weeks. Back to the same old shit again, damnit I wish I could find a good woman out there somewhere.
03-20-2007, 07:17 AM
ls1blackbeauty98

Quote:

Originally Posted by 00ws6m6

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

lol holy shit that is the funniest thing ive ever heard.
no matter if its true or not, its still halarious haha
03-20-2007, 07:24 AM
SSwt00SS

an oldie but a goodie....:lmao:
03-20-2007, 07:27 AM
SexOnWheels

Quote:

Originally Posted by SSwt00SS

an oldie but a goodie....:lmao:

Yes agreed +1, you really fooled zoso though, :lmao: :lastyear:
03-20-2007, 09:05 AM
00ws6m6

Quote:

Originally Posted by ss~zoso~ss

wow man, that was awesome, women sicken me often times, but i still wanna fuck em

MAD PROPS

And heres the proof lolololololololol thats what makes this fun!!!!!!!!!
03-20-2007, 09:06 AM
00ws6m6

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nastyfoot

Who gives a shit. It's still funny

thanks for the backup
03-20-2007, 12:12 PM
ss~zoso~ss

Quote:

Originally Posted by SexOnWheels

Yes agreed +1, you really fooled zoso though, :lmao: :lastyear:

i've been had :(
03-20-2007, 12:42 PM
Tnhillbilly

Even if it was a joke. That was hilarious!
03-20-2007, 12:59 PM
ls1blackbeauty98

Quote:

Originally Posted by ss~zoso~ss

wow man, that was awesome, women sicken me often times, but i still wanna fuck em

MAD PROPS

thats what sickens me about guys, no matter how evil a women is, as long as she's hot, its ok.
03-22-2007, 09:41 AM
CamaroLT4me

Quote:

Originally Posted by ls1blackbeauty98

thats what sickens me about guys, no matter how evil a women is, as long as she's hot, its ok.

it depends on the guys....

so dont group me in with everyone else.......:villagers:
03-22-2007, 12:54 PM
GOT1GOAT

The end of the joke should've stated " Your just not in touch with my sexual needs enough for me to in touch with your shopping needs" I think.