Gonna have a pissed wife

Ok I did something the other night and my wife is gonna be pissed. I didnt cheat but got drunk and drove home. I know what most will say and I agree.
Im a fool and should not have done it but I did. I also used my credit card and she wont be happy about that.(which is not the important part). She travels alot and I dont see her much at this time. Should I tell her when she is home for only a day or wait and try and deal with it later. Yes I know Im grown up and I make my own decisions whether smart or not. So what is some opinions other than what I know, a fool?

thread worthy? no one will know.

What momma don't know won't hurt her.


http://www.zuguide.com/image/Henry-W...Waterboy.4.jpg

Who cares? If she travels often like you said, she can rip you for one whole day?

Nut up and tell her how it is over a beer.

I've a feeling that there is a little more to it than a few beers... :p But either way, tell her now and get it over with. If she does the bills for the household, she's gonna find out anyway. Better to tell her now than come across later as having had something to hide :yup:

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Originally Posted by BadBlueBird*

thread worthy? no one will know.

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Probably not but its the internet and easier to get off my chest. Not really more than that except drinking used to be a bad subject. Didnt want to tell with one day off after a long travel then going out again with not much time to talk about it.

when she walks in the door be sitting at the kitchen table with a big bag of cocaine and 3 hookers........it'll make it easier for her to get over the drinking/driving and credit card thing.

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Originally Posted by 0rion

when she walks in the door be sitting at the kitchen table with a big bag of cocaine and 3 hookers........it'll make it easier for her to get over the drinking/driving and credit card thing.

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I knew there was a reason I asked for opinions. She is already gonna be pissed as Delta screwed her flight and doesnt come in until 10pm.

You live in Tennessee.....I think like Alabama its legal to slap her if she mouths off.

Honestly, if you are that afraid of what she is going to say you have other issues that dont need to be discussed here. I wouldnt put up with that shit.

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Originally Posted by Zapper2003

What momma don't know won't hurt her.

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I'm with you.

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Originally Posted by TLS_Addict

You live in Tennessee.....I think like Alabama its legal to slap her if she mouths off.

Honestly, if you are that afraid of what she is going to say you have other issues that dont need to be discussed here. I wouldnt put up with that shit.

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THIS!

i can understand her being pissed and getting all up in your shit for the drunk driving but being pissed cause you spent some money?? FUCK that. man up and take what is due for driving drunk but if she gets on your case for you spending some money tell her to go play a game of "hide and go-fuck-herself"

what's funny is the longer your married the less you care about getting yelled at or them being pissed off......

You must get ripped a lot.

Better for her to be pissed off at you than for you to be pissed on.

That is unless you like that sort of thing...

So your wife controls your use of a credit card? And yeah, I'm sure she would be pissed that you would drink and drive.

Redls1, I see no ones asked..How much did you spend on the credit card?

Yeah she is more pissed that I drove drunk. In the start of our marriage I did alot of stupid things. I once traded her car in while she was away because I wanted a truck then put a several thousand dollar stereo system in. I could go on and on. Yeah I used to say fuck it and no matter what I did I told her too bad. She stuck with me through all that and I finally see it. Its not that I dont have balls Im trying to make things a little more even. I can put things on my credit card but when I continue to do things I dont need, like going
out is when she is not happy. Last year we finally paid of $6000 of credit card debt. Now usually if we cant get it paid off or have the money to do so we dont do it.

Why do you have to tell her you drove drunk? I don't get it? The money thing I can understand, sort of after your above post.

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Originally Posted by INMY01TA

Why do you have to tell her you drove drunk? I don't get it? The money thing I can understand, sort of after your above post.

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I really dont but when she sees multiple charges from several different places on the same day for more than $30 at a time its more than food.

Wow...I could go on and on about this one. Nope...you should't have drove drunk. I used to do it too, that is, until my brother did it one night, and ended up killing someone and paralyzing another when he smashed their car head on at 60mph. Needless to say...I have NO tolorance when it comes to that shit. Nuff said.

About the money thing...man, I would man up and tell her. If she gets pissed about a few $30 charges (and has that much control over your money), I would seriously be rethinking things...not only about the money, but the relationship too. So what...she goes outta town for who knows how long at a time, and you're supposed to just sit at home and not do anything?? Bullshit.
No offence man....but she sounds really controlling. I'm just not down with that shit....but everyone's relationship is different. If it were me though, I would have made a stand against that shit a long time ago.

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Originally Posted by redls1

Yeah she is more pissed that I drove drunk. In the start of our marriage I did alot of stupid things. I once traded her car in while she was away because I wanted a truck then put a several thousand dollar stereo system in. I could go on and on. Yeah I used to say fuck it and no matter what I did I told her too bad. She stuck with me through all that and I finally see it. Its not that I dont have balls Im trying to make things a little more even. I can put things on my credit card but when I continue to do things I dont need, like going
out is when she is not happy. Last year we finally paid of $6000 of credit card debt. Now usually if we cant get it paid off or have the money to do so we dont do it.

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I had a feeling there was more to it than just a few beers and a few bucks. It's more an issue of past drinking problems and the shenanigans she's had to put up with (only you know how bad it was), which lead to deep trust issues, and when you throw financial matters in the mix... Well, put them all together and it's no fun. I know this first hand ;)

It's good that you told her though. Trust is important in any marriage. Once that is gone... so is your marriage :yup:

if the honesty and trust thing stops working let me know......I can get you better instructions on the cocaine and hooker thing. :D

Does she at least let you masterbate while she's gone?

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Originally Posted by 0rion

if the honesty and trust thing stops working let me know......I can get you better instructions on the cocaine and hooker thing. :D

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Baahahaha. Your killin me with this one.


So ive been reading this and now I wanna chime in. You said just the drinking/driving, CC thing. Later you told us a lil bit more by saying the trading in the car thing. Also, you claim its the "internet", so you can vent here.

Well i hope you have tough skin cause these guys WONT go easy on you...OR give more information as to why she trips on you living whe shes not around? Its not our business to know it all but YOU madethe comment about being able to vent on the internet. So if you wanna TRULY vent, then give us more than what you already have. May have sme more understanding responses.

BUT......seems to me like you really messed up somwhere down the line and she has a leash on you. Even if you did mess up that bad back then, you cant walk on egg shells whenever she leaves and probably while shes home too. Regardless of what you have done to smash her trust in you, she doesnt seem over it...and as already said above, when the trust is gone so is the marriage. She gotta forgive and forget and you need a phone number for a cab service

I think Kenny touched on some good things. For real though...everyone makes mistakes. We have all probably done stupid shit. I know I have. Most everyone does. She can't hold things over you like that so you are walking on eggshells all the time (UNLESS!) you KEEP doing stupid shit. If you're constantly fucking up, then she has a right to stay on your ass. BUT- if that's just you....you like to party, or hit on other women when you're out, or whatever...if that's just the type of person you are, then you should probably think about if you're married to the right kinda woman. There's nothing wrong with partying and stuff for some people- that's just the way they are. If you're constantly doing things that pisses her off (and I don't know you...so I don't now), then you need to evaluatre why you're doing it....and either stop doing those things because you love this woman and you don't want to lose her OR, think about moving on because you're different personalities just don't jive.

This whole thing reminds me of my ex-fiance'. I thought I wanted to be with her forever, but I was constantly doing shit to piss her off. It wasn't until I thought really hard about it and realized that her and I just weren't right for each.....so we spit. I'm much happier now. And now I own a TransAm. :)

I watched a Bounty commercial about something like this.

Guy buys a juicer and didnt tell his wife. It leaks so it wasnt a good deal. She grabs a paper towel and cleans it up.

THAT is how a woman should be. lol

:rotfl: :lmao:

Shit. Yeah I dont have enough space to explain everything. When we first got married(and as she recently said she knew how I was before)I was jealous,controlling and everything was ok for me and not her. I went out and partied and she had to ask to go out. She would call and I would be past out on my friends couch. I did what I wanted and if she didnt like it I told her to leave many times. She stayed. I was always out of control. Now here is where people are gonna disagree and give me shit. I started having issues with depression and shit. Nothing worked and I was eventually told I was bi polar. I started to have treatments and dont remember have my life. I dont remember quiting my job after 20 years one day, moving and even the basic stuff some days. Yes I love her and want to be with her. Just hard to follow though with the help I need in my/our life. She works alot for several months and then we have time together. For the most part we now discuss anything major we are going to do. So she has been through all that and still around. So I think I know why I do some stuff. Just trying to change as always is the problem. And was said if I dont then things wont work,I dont love her enough to change or she will leave. Damn that was to much to say so let the shit roll.

Sounds like you have some issues that the rest of us really cant give you advice on. Professional help is a must and it looks as if you are attempting it.

If she is controlling now as you were years ago there is STILL an issue.

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Originally Posted by TLS_Addict

Sounds like you have some issues that the rest of us really cant give you advice on. Professional help is a must and it looks as if you are attempting it.

If she is controlling now as you were years ago there is STILL an issue.

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Yeah no kidding. Too much to put here. Will be 17 years or marriage this year.

Ok now on a lighter note. I was leaving the neighborhood and get behind a cop car. He has his rear lights on. I stay back far enough but watch if he is going to pull the car in front of him over. We go for awhile and nothing. I pull u to the light next to him and roll down my window. He looks over and rolls his down. I said your back lights are flashing. They look at each other with this duh look and say thanks and turn them off.

I like you guys.....everytime I read one of your fucked up threads I suddenly feel a lot better about myself. :lol:

The quicker picker upper!

Thats why I still stop by, if you aint fucked up somebody is.

Everyone is fucked up......just the level of severity.

Im at a 12 on a 10 scale at the moment.

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Originally Posted by chris1974

Wow...I could go on and on about this one. Nope...you should't have drove drunk. I used to do it too, that is, until my brother did it one night, and ended up killing someone and paralyzing another when he smashed their car head on at 60mph. Needless to say...I have NO tolorance when it comes to that shit. Nuff said.

About the money thing...man, I would man up and tell her. If she gets pissed about a few $30 charges (and has that much control over your money), I would seriously be rethinking things...not only about the money, but the relationship too. So what...she goes outta town for who knows how long at a time, and you're supposed to just sit at home and not do anything?? Bullshit.
No offence man....but she sounds really controlling. I'm just not down with that shit....but everyone's relationship is different. If it were me though, I would have made a stand against that shit a long time ago.

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I'm sorry to hear about your brother.. That shit just kills me inside, how a mistake can change so many lives.

redls1, I don't mean to jump on your back and tell you what to do friend but trading in the wifes car behind her back is kinda... big.

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Originally Posted by 0rion

I like you guys.....everytime I read one of your fucked up threads I suddenly feel a lot better about myself. :lol:

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:lmao:

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Originally Posted by chris1974

Wow...I could go on and on about this one. Nope...you should't have drove drunk. I used to do it too, that is, until my brother did it one night, and ended up killing someone and paralyzing another when he smashed their car head on at 60mph. Needless to say...I have NO tolorance when it comes to that shit. Nuff said.

About the money thing...man, I would man up and tell her. If she gets pissed about a few $30 charges (and has that much control over your money), I would seriously be rethinking things...not only about the money, but the relationship too. So what...she goes outta town for who knows how long at a time, and you're supposed to just sit at home and not do anything?? Bullshit.
No offence man....but she sounds really controlling. I'm just not down with that shit....but everyone's relationship is different. If it were me though, I would have made a stand against that shit a long time ago.

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Sorry man. When I woke up I was like damn. Scared the shit out of me. I then was watching tv and there was a whole show about DUI about how it screws not only your like but everybody else. Its not about one $30 charge but many. When I go out to eat or spend it on stupid shit I really dont need it adds up. If I need something no problem. Figure I go out to eat 2 or 3 times a week. At the end of the month that is alot. I just hear about all the places she eats at but I had to realize its because she is working and has too. She gets paid for that.

My wife has an uncle who is in his 60s. His wife still won't let him near a credit card. He and his wife have a nice home, their kids are grown up, they have done ok financially, but because he is a "loose cannon" he has to ask his wife for a credit card and she has to approve his spending. It works for them so not my business.

As far as driving drunk, you should have acted like a responsible person and used that credit card for a cab, or bus, or car service, or even taken out some cash and paid someone to drive you home. No excuse in this day and age for risking your life and the lives of others for your indiscretions. That said, times have changed. I drove drunk for years back in high school, college, and my early twenties. It was fairly common practice back in the 1970s to show up at a party behind the wheel with a beer between your legs and a case in the back seat.

I stopped drinking completely (my choice), in 1985. I never had an accident while drunk and never hurt anyone, but the writing was on the wall and I knew it was simply a matter of time. A buddy of mine lost his license and did jail time after getting caught for his third DUI in two years. Another friend ended up in rehab. I lost two cousins (one overdosed and another passed out and burned up when her house caught on fire).

Way too risky to do stupid stuff like driving drunk.

We all make mistakes. You were lucky. Money is a renewable resource but life is not.

My take on this? Some people are just born hard ass holes and don't realize when they have a good thing.

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Originally Posted by SiggyZ

My take on this? Some people are just born hard ass holes and don't realize when they have a good thing.

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Why don't you tell him how you really feel Siggy

Sent from my Samsung "Look it's The Darkness!!!" Infuse 4G

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Originally Posted by chris1974

I used to do it too, that is, until my brother did it one night, and ended up killing someone and paralyzing another when he smashed their car head on at 60mph.

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Is he in jail?

At least you know why she is pissed at you. Makes it easier to say you are sorry. lol

I'm betting she was nicer to you when you were acting like an ass in the relationship.

Dan

Your name is Dan, too? lol

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Originally Posted by 5.0THIS

Is he in jail?

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He went to prison...he's out now. This was about 15 years ago. They found out the guy in the other car was drunk too. Not sure about the passenger.

I don't know man....eat the "Y" then tell her your shit. I've been with my wife for 18 years....we worked all our crap out in the first 5.

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Originally Posted by whitetrashbird

I'm betting she was nicer to you when you were acting like an ass in the relationship.

Dan

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Actually no.

Nobody will ever fully understand what goes through a woman's head. As soon as you think you know, they throw you a curve ball. That's just how shit works. You basically have to decide for yourself how much you're willing to tolerate.

Sounds like you found yourself a good woman, but you keep fucking up. Learn from your mistakes or you're going to find yourself without her and then you'll really start to spiral downward.

Yep and I agree. I have changed alot since the start. Just have more to work on.

Buddy of mine called me up and said he needed someone to talk to.. His wife told him she cheated on him 5 times with the same guy a year ago.. so he kicked her out..among a bunch of other shit..

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Originally Posted by Zapper2003

Buddy of mine called me up and said he needed someone to talk to.. His wife told him she cheated on him 5 times with the same guy a year ago.. so he kicked her out..among a bunch of other shit..

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good man.....I'd drink beer and burn her shit in the yard.

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Originally Posted by chris1974

They found out the guy in the other car was drunk too. Not sure about the passenger.

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If your brother caused the crash, it is of little relevence that the other guy was drunk.

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Originally Posted by 5.0THIS

If your brother caused the crash, it is of little relevence that the other guy was drunk.

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Yeah...I'm pretty sure that's why he went to jail...

You know now that I think about it more Im not sure I really want to be married anymore. As people say you change or things and I guess they have/we have. In the start of our marriage when she was gone as the time it didnt really matter because I was out and shit. Now she is gone even more and makes better money but I want more than that now. Guess I have to think about it or we need to talk in a couple of months when she has time. That or say fuck it and enjoy shit when we do. I say we never have to to really do anything but she says well Im off in the summer for 3 months. Fuck whatever..

Being selfish and married go together like oil and water.

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Originally Posted by SiggyZ

Being selfish and married go together like oil and water.

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Yep she came home and I said I want a divorce. She asked me what is wrong and I said we really dont have the time needed to talk about it. She said tell me so I did. Im sick of being a house bitch and watching the damn dogs. She said what am I gonna do about my treatments/doctor appts. I said doesnt matter as that is no reason to stay married. Damn talk about bringing the topic back with a swing.

Wow... just 4 days ago you were worried about her being pissed off because you reverted back to some old behaviors that had caused trouble in the past, and today, you asked her for a divorce... That went quick.

I dunno man...I would probably sleep on that for a couple days. It's obvious that you care about her. Just make sure you think all of this thru really well. Some things can't be taken back.

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Originally Posted by redls1

Yep she came home and I said I want a divorce. She asked me what is wrong and I said we really dont have the time needed to talk about it. She said tell me so I did. Im sick of being a house bitch and watching the damn dogs. She said what am I gonna do about my treatments/doctor appts. I said doesnt matter as that is no reason to stay married. Damn talk about bringing the topic back with a swing.

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First of all, a car forum is no place to be talking about this in all honesty. You and your wife need to go sit down with a counselor, talk about things, and decide if this is really the best thing for both of you. It might take more than one session too, so have some patience. You can take a little time now, and it will pay off in the long run either way. You will either decide that a divorce is the best thing for both of you, and for the right reasons, so that both of you can move on in a positive way...OR... you will decide that there are things that need to be worked on, likely with both of you, in order to make your marriage better and make both of you happier.

Well that got her attention. Ive been saying for some time that when she is home I would like more quality time between us for the little time she is home. She said I wasnt direect enough about my feelings and ageed to work on things and talk to someone to work on things. Yeah I might have fucked up but that was small compared to other things.
She works some much because she is worried about our house,cars etc.. We dont have alot but live well. I told her this not important to me and I would in an apartment if we had to. I used to want everything and spent to much. As I said I have changed alot of the years. I will try and end this topic and move on to more positve things.

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Originally Posted by 5.0THIS

First of all, a car forum is no place to be talking about this in all honesty. You and your wife need to go sit down with a counselor, talk about things, and decide if this is really the best thing for both of you. It might take more than one session too, so have some patience. You can take a little time now, and it will pay off in the long run either way. You will either decide that a divorce is the best thing for both of you, and for the right reasons, so that both of you can move on in a positive way...OR... you will decide that there are things that need to be worked on, likely with both of you, in order to make your marriage better and make both of you happier.

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I've seen worse on FB...