I hate car salesman. They add no value and irritate the shit out of me.
So Mama tells me her Mercedes is 4 years old and she wants the new body style Mercedes. OK...lets go get you one....so we load up and go to the Mercedes dealer.
Now of course the minute you pull up 4 or 5 of them worthless fuckers come storming out of the dealership. They are so disingenuous I want to puke....I am rude as fuck to them :)
Now Mama and I are the worlds fastest car buyers....she always drives a Mercedes...so she just finds the color/model she wants and we buy it....there is no "haggling price" at Mercedes anyway...so the sticker is the price....We don't finance...nothing...just give me that one and here is the check.....Just shut the fuck up and give Mama the keys to this one and that one so she can decide and I can go home.....fairly simple.....
So we get to the dealership....here come the worthless shitheads....Mama instantly zooms in on this dark gray 2010 E350....she always has had a black Mercedes...but she really likes this one.....so this bottom dwelling fart sucker starts his "sales bullshit" and Mama tells him to save it....he goes gets the keys....Mama doesn't even test drive it...she sits in it...ask me how she looks...I say great....she tells Turd Blossom she will take that one....So we go into the dealership...and shit for brains goes to get the "sheet"...he comes back and starts going over the price of shit.....has $1600 for "paint protection" and $400 for "smart dots".....eat shit and die you yellow tooth moron.....The he wants her to sign "paperwork"...bunch of marketing horseshit wanting your email address and giving them the right to "share" your private purchase info with their marketing partners etc....I tell him to fuck himself and eat shit on the way to hell....So we go to the "Finance Manager"...same shit....I tell him to suck my ass also.....so he decides this is a "cash transaction" that they dont need all that bullshit.....I think cuz he knew I was serious about him sucking my ripped up filthy BVD's.....and he kept looking at the bulge on my right hip and knew it wasnt a PDA :) I dont know why but some folks are intimidated by Texans carrying concealed guns....oh well story for another day.....but this guy clearly was nervous.....
So Mama writes him the check..we tell them we will be back this morning around 11am to pick it up.....
So the whole thing should have taken 5 minutes turned into 45 minutes of absolute wasted worthless bullshit marketing/sales horseshit.
Why do I share all this? Cuz I want all you boys and girls to kick a car salesman in the man vagina today.....I hate car salesman....worthless pricks.
