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  1. #1
    Old Enough to Know Better Crimson Sin's Avatar
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    Red Fire
    2007 Mustang GT/CS

    This year's Stella Awards ( Like Darwin) but ..

    Good Morning USA!

    In this day and age of courts and country, it should be known that, once again, nothing in the annals of the written word can possibly compare with reality.

    Incredible…

    It’s time again for the annual ‘Stella Awards’! For those unfamiliar
    with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who
    spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald’s in
    New Mexico where she purchased the coffee. You remember, she took the
    lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving.
    Here are the Stella’s for the past year:
    7TH PLACE :
    Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of
    her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
    running inside a furniture store. The storeowners were understandably
    surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own
    son.
    6TH PLACE :
    Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical
    expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
    Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the
    car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.
    Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.
    5TH PLACE :
    Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house
    he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for
    Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could
    not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn’t re-enter the house
    because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when
    Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count ‘em, EIGHT,
    days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the
    homeowner’s insurance company claiming undue mental anguish.
    Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson
    $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.
    Keep scratching. There are more…
    4TH PLACE :
    Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the
    Stella’s when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being
    bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor’s beagle - even though
    the beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. Williams did no t
    get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might
    have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had
    climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with
    a pellet gun.
    Grrrrr. Scratch, scratch.
    3RD PLACE :
    Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a
    Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a
    spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone The reason the soft drink
    was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
    earlier during an argument.
    Whatever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?
    Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there; there are only two more
    Stellas to go…
    2ND PLACE :
    Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in
    a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor,
    knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to
    sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
    charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000…oh,
    yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.
    1ST PLACE : (May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please)
    This year’s runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv
    Grazinski, of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma , who purchased a new 32-foot
    Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an Oklahoma University football game,
    having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph
    and calmly left the driver’s seat to go to the back of the Winnebago
    to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the
    freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski
    sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t
    actually leave the driver’s seat while the cruise control was set. The
    Oklahoma jury awarded her [are you sitting down?], $1,750,000 PLUS a new
    motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this
    suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy
    a motor home.
    And that, dear readers, is your fellow countryman proving, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it is possible to supplant reality with a judge/jury’s decision. So, in conclusion - The words ofArgus - “Speak softly and carry a big law firm.”

    Do Not Anger the Horsepower Gods ! MOD !!

    2007 Mustang GT/CS
    2001 SS Cammed. Stalled. Geared. Tuned...Gone but not forgotten..
    Quote Originally Posted by bluefields88 View Post
    pornhub.com has a tribute thing for MJ at the top of page. I can't even jerk off without being bombarded by the bastard.


  2. #2
    Bone it like you own it FORD RECOVERY EXPERT's Avatar
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    Black / Stryker Blue
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    1.75 million???





  3. #3
    Senior Member Nhra Firebird's Avatar
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    all these judges should be debarred

  4. #4
    Giant Dicks Car Club Zapper2003's Avatar
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    2005 Ram
    1978 Firebird

    all of these people should be shot with a ball of their own shit.

  5. #5
    Senior Member raynor139's Avatar
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    Pewter
    2002 Trans Am WS6 M6

    And this is why if you own any kind of business insurance is so damn high and why consumers have to pay more. Thank you stupid people.

  6. #6
    Bone it like you own it FORD RECOVERY EXPERT's Avatar
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    Black / Stryker Blue
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nhra Firebird View Post
    all these judges should be debarred
    This is one of the smartest things I've ever heard you say.........















































































































































  7. #7
    Detailing + Design third_shift|studios's Avatar
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    My life is a
    Ben Stiller movie.

    these have to be fake?!

  8. #8
    Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by third_shift|studios View Post
    these have to be fake?!


    http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp

    It is!

  9. #9
    She Moderator KahanaReef's Avatar
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    Arctic White
    2000 Camaro Z28

    Quote Originally Posted by flash View Post
    That's a good thing. Although, I'm pretty sure there are plenty of people out there that would try any of the above

  10. #10
    Old Enough to Know Better Crimson Sin's Avatar
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    Red Fire
    2007 Mustang GT/CS

    Yeah, but it was posted to be funny..

  11. #11
    Junior Member
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    black
    95 conv, harttop svt

    Dr. Drew pinsky, just wrote a book about this kind of stuff. The mirror effect, or something like that. Are society just said " the hell with working hard, lets just start suing people because they have more then I do, and that's what i deserve" I mean, if these situations actually happen, how hard can it be to set something up?
    Tell ya what since I live by OKC, ill try to find some bull shit reason to sue, if i get a good amount, BRAND NEW CAMAROS FOR MY FELLOW LS1'ERS!!!!

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