Wow, I am loosing my mind.

**FSANE** · 06-16-2006, 03:51 PM

If you guys remember while back in October, I had a patient die while I was transporting her to MRI

Here is the post for a reminder:
http://www.ls1.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4051

So anyways, for the last 2 night I wake up dreaming about that day. What’s worse is that the dream gets worse. It’s more detailed and more graphic. I really don’t want to go into it, but it does scare me out of sleep. I am loosing my mind.

Why now and out of nowhere. Why 8 months later?

Here is my problem. I want to talk about it with someone at work, but I am too embarrassed. Its just that I have to be more professional towards this situation, but it freaks me out. I can't sleep. I used to get really bad nightmares when I was a kid, and now it’s like I am experiencing my childhood all over again.

Has anyone been in my situation before? If so, please give me any advice on how to deal with this.

**pecha** · 06-16-2006, 04:01 PM

Don't be afraid to talk about it Alex! You are not the only one.

**FSANE** · 06-16-2006, 04:12 PM

Originally Posted by pecha

Don't be afraid to talk about it Alex! You are not the only one.

Its embarrasing to talk about at work.

I aslo posted in fbody, hopefully Jakie has some right advice.

**pecha** · 06-16-2006, 04:16 PM

yeah I saw it there too

is there maybe somebody in your work that helps to deal with such stuff?

**x-40oz-x** · 06-16-2006, 04:20 PM

Your not going to commit suicide are you?
J/K

I think alot of people in your shoes would be the same way having dreams and such.
If it was me, i'd keep it bottled up and go insane.
If i was you i'd talk to the person at work. They're professional too so why wouldn't they understand?

Hope that helps.

**FSANE** · 06-16-2006, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by pecha

yeah I saw it there too

is there maybe somebody in your work that helps to deal with such stuff?

Thats the thing, I work in Radiology and very rarely we have something like that. I would want to talk someone in the E.R. but I dont know anyone that well.

**oneBADDz** · 06-16-2006, 04:33 PM

I would think there is some sort of staff psycologist or counselor, talk to them, that's what they are there for. It's guaranteed it is far from the most embarrassing thing anyone has talked to them about. It shouldn't be an embarrassing issue either way for you, it's common to have a negative issue with something like that.

**CaptainCaveMan** · 06-16-2006, 04:42 PM

I've know alot of people that were in vietnam and they were always having dreams about the people they watched die. Maybe this is kinda the same thing. I wouldn't call you crazy or anything. Go talk to the local head-shrinker or chaplin about it. That's what they are there for.

**Bigrus** · 06-16-2006, 05:54 PM

Walked into a tank and found a 73 year old inmate dead from a heart attack the day before he kept showing me pics of his grandkids saying he was getting released in 4 months.

Had another have some serious blood problems and i was on hospital duty talk fine all night then in the morning die while we were sitting in the operating room.

Either you can deal with it or you cannot it gets worse the more you see it thats why you try not to get to know them personally so the blow is just not that hard. I would think you have issues with your own mortallity.

BadBlueBird* · 06-17-2006, 08:49 AM

That kinda stuff will stay without you until you let it out. Ive found that just talking about it to friends or my girlfriend really helps.

**pecha** · 06-17-2006, 09:19 AM

Originally Posted by oneBADDz

I would think there is some sort of staff psycologist or counselor, talk to them, that's what they are there for. It's guaranteed it is far from the most embarrassing thing anyone has talked to them about. It shouldn't be an embarrassing issue either way for you, it's common to have a negative issue with something like that.

that's the kind of person that I had in mind.

**illcul8troffcr** · 06-18-2006, 03:14 AM

Originally Posted by FSANE

If you guys remember while back in October, I had a patient die while I was transporting her to MRI

Here is the post for a reminder:
http://www.ls1.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4051

So anyways, for the last 2 night I wake up dreaming about that day. What’s worse is that the dream gets worse. It’s more detailed and more graphic. I really don’t want to go into it, but it does scare me out of sleep. I am loosing my mind.

Why now and out of nowhere. Why 8 months later?

Here is my problem. I want to talk about it with someone at work, but I am too embarrassed. Its just that I have to be more professional towards this situation, but it freaks me out. I can't sleep. I used to get really bad nightmares when I was a kid, and now it’s like I am experiencing my childhood all over again.

Has anyone been in my situation before? If so, please give me any advice on how to deal with this.

I'll tell you this Ive been in and out of hospitals a good portion of my life. Ive had tons of x-rays, MRI's, Cat-scans, EKG's.. you name it.. You had nothing to do with that persons health.. you didnt cause it .. you couldnt prevent it... I dont know the specifics .. but bro when its time to go its time to go.. Im a strong believer in that. People shouldnt worry about death so much .. its just a way of life.. just happens to be the final step

I was in a room with a old guy as my room mate .. he was fine the day before.. had his wife in there and all .. they talked to me .. well the next night .. I get woken up by the door crashing open .. beeping and alarms going off... the old man was having a severe heart attack and I was stuck right there watching them work on him because of all of the equipment .. I thought my ass was dead when I woke up haha I had no idea it was him they were coming after.. But they finally got my bed out of the room and into the hall ..

he ended up dying while they worked on him in there .. it freaked me the hell out .. closest ive ever been to someone dead or dying other than a funeral you know? The nurses asked did I want to go back in the room I was like helllllll no they couldnt move the body Until the morgue or coroner came up or whatever. His family showed up shortly after he died .. I guess the hospital called them to notify them.. all of these people I talked with are screaming and crying .. because they know he died .. really sad.. but I was not goin in that room till he was taken out. You just cant let it bother you .. it isnt your fault..