Worst bachelor party I ever went to this weekend.

**kickflippin1** · 10-04-2009, 10:30 PM

So, Saturday night I went to a bachelor party that I was invited to earlier in the week. I was told there would be a keg, which there was, food, poker, and strippers. My friend bitched out so I went solo and met another friend of mine (the one who invited me, and I haven't seen in 13 years) there.

I get in the door, pay the $20 cover, get my wristband, and get situated. Well, I go to get some beer from the keg, and there are 2 kegs, and both of them are the 2 shittiest beers I have ever tasted in my life. One was some dark ale and the other was this light wheat ale. So, I had about 1/2 beer total the entire night. So, I decided to get some pizza now. I go to get the pizza, and it is about room temperature, no where near fresh.

I start asking about the strippers...when are they supposed to show up, how many, etc.

Well, the strippers were supposed to get there at 10 p.m., and they didn't show up until 12:30...and they were black. Nothing against black chicks, but man...that is definitely NOT what I wanted to see that night. All 3 were ugly. One looked like a crackhead. I think one of them was pregnant (she had a little bit of a gut, and one of the guys that took her into a bathroom came out afterward and showed us the "tittie milk", as he put it, on his glasses and shirt). The third one had one ugly ass body.

So, all in all, I gave $20 to the asshole who hit me in the eye with a hockey stick 14 years ago to attend his shitty ass bachelor party.

Also, I am not sorry that I don't have pictures to show you. If I did have my camera, I wouldn't have taken any anyway.

/rant

**86 IROC-Z** · 10-04-2009, 10:32 PM

inb4 jb3golf

**kickflippin1** · 10-04-2009, 10:33 PM

Originally Posted by 86 IROC-Z

inb4 jb3golf

**Hi-Po** · 10-04-2009, 10:35 PM

Thats probably what his marriage is going to sum up to as well.

**kickflippin1** · 10-04-2009, 10:37 PM

Originally Posted by Hi-Po

Thats probably what his marriage is going to sum up to as well.

Garbage?

**gd1996** · 10-04-2009, 10:37 PM

LOL! Please pray for these crackheads... bless you all.

**kickflippin1** · 10-04-2009, 10:40 PM

Originally Posted by gd1996

LOL! Please pray for these crackheads... bless you all.

Got a good laugh out of that one.

**c5z28** · 10-04-2009, 10:53 PM

You're upset because you didn't get ta ta milk huh?

**kickflippin1** · 10-04-2009, 10:55 PM

Originally Posted by c5z28

You're upset because you didn't get ta ta milk huh?

Hahaha! Not quite. I told that guy to replace his lenses and burn his shirt.

**gd1996** · 10-04-2009, 10:55 PM

Was it chocolate milk?

**310stanger** · 10-04-2009, 10:57 PM

did they at least do anything cool like let you piss on them for a 5 spot at least?

**kickflippin1** · 10-04-2009, 10:59 PM

Originally Posted by 310stanger

did they at least do anything cool like let you piss on them for a 5 spot at least?

Nothin' like that. But, they did let the guys touch whatever they wanted, and were doin' like, $50 BJs....WAAAAAYYYY too much, in my opinion. One guy said she told him $100, then he laughed at her and said, "I'll give you $50," and she said okay.

**Danger731** · 10-05-2009, 01:24 AM

Horrible, I feel your pain bro, that is some BS !

**JHayesLS1** · 10-05-2009, 04:03 AM

Damn. Here I thought my buddies BP sucked. All we did was drink mountain dew and play wii bowling all night.

**c5z28** · 10-05-2009, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by kickflippin1

Nothin' like that. But, they did let the guys touch whatever they wanted, and were doin' like, $50 BJs....WAAAAAYYYY too much, in my opinion. One guy said she told him $100, then he laughed at her and said, "I'll give you $50," and she said okay.

He didn't factor in that meds for vd are at least $75

BadBlueBird* · 10-05-2009, 09:59 PM

Never been to a good bachelor party.

**blackSS01** · 10-05-2009, 10:01 PM

Originally Posted by BadBlueBird*

Never been to a good bachelor party.

I've been to some good ones

**Hi-Po** · 10-05-2009, 10:06 PM

Originally Posted by BadBlueBird*

Never been to a good bachelor party.

Now that you mention it, Ive never been to a bachelor party that just blew my mind. Never anything like this, but nothing spectacular.

**35th-ANV-SS** · 10-05-2009, 10:13 PM

Damn, I laughed pretty hard at this one. That sucks man.

I went to a bachelor party once where the strippers showed up and the guy had run out of money and couldn't pay them so they left! WTF...

**gd1996** · 10-06-2009, 08:11 AM

Last one I went to we had 4 strippers come to the cabin... they did two girl shows and everything else. I never go to strip clubs for them, have them come to your place and they put on a much better show. Plus the lap dances in the private room get quite interesting.

Also tell the strippers you got coke... that seems to get them going! I don't touch the stuff, but apparently all the strippers do.