words of advice

**1MileCrash** · 05-29-2010, 09:36 PM

just a few thoughts regarding the past couple of days at work...

1. don't wait until the day you want to use your boat/jet ski to try to find an alternator, battery, or oil filter...and if you do don't expect that you will get it that day or that you don't need part numbers

2. if the person at the store tells you that it is illegal to sell something in your state...believe them...don't argue with them

3. speak clearly and audibly...if i can't hear you or understand you don't get pissy when i ask you to repeat yourself mush mouth

4. just because you need a different filter doesn't mean that i'm going to get fired for opening the store up after i've closed...we were open for literally 13 1/2 hours so you have no excuse...come back tomorrow

5. no matter what your fiend told you i do no, can not, and will not clear your check engine light codes for you...and no you can't just borrow my scanner and do it yourself. you can however rent my loaner at deposit price and use it for however long you need it

6. if you want correct pricing on tune up parts...for gods sake know the year, make, model, and engine that is in your vehicle. if you don't know and don't have the car with you i can't help you...i'm not a mind reader

7. it's not my fault that you threw out your receipt so don't get mad at me when i can't and won't give you cash back on returns

8. no...i don't know why "that dumbass" designed the car the way that he did so stop asking every time you call or come in. he makes more money than i do so he can do whatever he wants to

9. yes it's made in...china/taiwan/korea/mexico and that price is low and competitive. if you want a US made part i can get that for you for twice the price...so stop complaining that it's not made in the US and that it's "too expensive"

10. no i don't know exactly how to do that job on your car or truck...i'm sorry but i've worked on about 5 different cars and trucks and yours isn't one of them so i have no idea what the torque specs are on your water pump bolts or what size socket you need to do your brakes

**86 IROC-Z** · 05-29-2010, 09:40 PM

Originally Posted by 1MileCrash

if you don't know and don't have the car with you i can't help you...i'm not a mind reader

If they don't know, being a mind reader wouldn't help anyway

**1MileCrash** · 05-29-2010, 10:00 PM

true. i guess i was subconciously thinking of the guys that walk in a say "i need this round thing for my car" and then when i ask what it is they say "i dunno it's a wagon" but they don't know anything about it or if it's with them they act pissed and get feisty and point out the window and go "that one right there."

**excrider121** · 05-30-2010, 07:00 AM

You work in a parts store too huh?

Question of the day thus far: "Do you guys have clothes line wire? You know the stuff that is used to hang your laundry to dry?"

**bigrondownhiller** · 05-30-2010, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by excrider121

You work in a parts store too huh?

Question of the day thus far: "Do you guys have clothes line wire? You know the stuff that is used to hang your laundry to dry?"

Tell them it is on the second floor near the pool supplies.

**excrider121** · 05-30-2010, 09:44 AM

As quick as I usually am, I was speachless.

**1MileCrash** · 05-30-2010, 12:35 PM

haha...i haven't had one like that but i did have a lady come in one day and ask for gardening gloves. big surprise when she wasn't happy with the mechanics gloves.

today was boat day. every friggin jackass who owns a boat took their out of storage today and needed a battery or an oil filter or a solenoid or a relay or an oil pressure switch or spark plugs and every one of them was pissed when i didn't have it in stock (spark plugs and oil filters) or was out of stock because they were popular (batteries) or couldn't understand why there wasn't a warranty on the parts just because it's a boat (electrical parts). i mean really. first...you're an idiot for waiting so damn long to do this and two...you're in a car parts store looking for boat parts. fuck off.

**excrider121** · 05-30-2010, 01:23 PM

Greatest walkin today: He had a blown hydraulic hose from a tractor. A big 3/4in hose. He wanted to know if I had any "screw clamps and plastic splices to fix this."

**excrider121** · 05-30-2010, 01:24 PM

Whats more is he couldn't understand why they would fix it...

**1MileCrash** · 05-30-2010, 02:25 PM

then i'm sure that you constantly get the one where they want a compression fitting for their brake line. or the couple times where they have demanded a piece of 5/16" rubber hose and 2 hose clamps to fix their brake line. legally i can't sell either of them but my corporation demands that i do...if i don't i get written up for it.

**86 IROC-Z** · 05-30-2010, 09:00 PM

This thread reminds of the time I worked at a movie theater, specifically at the concession stand.

Now, this theater wasn't anything special like you might find in an upmarket shopping district. As a matter of fact it was pretty bare bones. The concession stand followed this theme. We had popcorn, candy, and a few different types of soda. Basic movie theater shit. But people always asked me if we had more options.

I mean, it's not like it was hard to figure out what we sold. The menu wasn't some complex riddle. It was really simple. It was in large letters about 4 feet behind me on the wall. It had three items (Popcorn/candy/drink), three sizes for each (Small/med/large), so, accordingly, nine prices total. Real third-grade level shit.

However, some of the customers apparently thought I had some classy Food Network shit hiding in the back room, considering the questions they asked me.

Here's an all too common occurrence:

Me: "Hi, what can I get for you"
Customer: "hmmmmm"
Customer: [stares at menu for about a minute straight]
Customer: "Do you guys have any... pasta?"

Pasta? Yeah we have fucking pasta. Let me walk into the fucking storage room and tell Emeril fucking Lagasse that he needs to cook you up some god damn pasta. No we don't have pasta you stupid fuck, can't you read the fucking menu you've been pointing your mouth-breathing head at for ten minutes?

Me: "No sir, we don't have pasta. We have popcorn, candy, and a variety of soft drinks."
Customer: "Oh okay. Hmmm."
Customer: [Continues reading the menu. Or he could be just daydreaming, because he's not using the menu for shit]
Customer: "Well do you have hot dogs?"

This is the part where I fantasize about what he would look like stuffed lifelessly into the popcorn warmer.

On day when I was in a particularly bad mood, when asked a stupid question about what we didn't sell, I would bertstare them for a few seconds, then slowly turn around to blatantly look at the menu, pause, then turn back around to say, "No, no we do not serve alcohol here."

It was exponentially worse when there were kids involved:

Me: "Hi, how can I help you today?"
Customer: "Hmmm lets see... Jimmy, what do you want to eat?"

Jimmy is a child who doesn't look like he's old enough to read, let alone be tall enough to see over the counter to look(not read) at the menu.

Jimmy: "I want ice cream!!!!"
Customer: "Okay" [to me:] "What type of ice cream do you have?"
Me: "Sir, we don't have ice cream."
Customer: "Ohhh... [to his spawn of satan:] Jimmy, they don't have ice cream, what else do you want?"
(At this point I'm thinking: Dad, why not tell the kid what we have, so the situation doesn't degrade any further, but alas, it was too late.)
Jimmy: "I. WANT. ICE. CWEAMMMM!!!!!"

When this happens I just start grinding my teeth, and imagining I'm sitting on a beach, only conscious enough in reality to process whatever (possible) order the dad wrestles from his shithead kid.

**1MileCrash** · 05-30-2010, 09:15 PM

hahahaha...dumb fucks.

how about this gem...

"hi what can i do for you today."
"BRAKES"
"k. what's the vehicle."
"on my car."
"right...and that would be a..."
"what?"
"your car...what is the year make and model"
"93 chevalier"
"k...1993...and a chevrolet?"
"chevalier"
"cavalier?"
"'93!"
"...oookay...so a 1993 chevrolet cavalier..."
"NO...IT'S A 93...CHEVALIER!"
"brakes start out at $14.00..."

why are some people so fucking ignorant and retarded?

**pecha** · 05-30-2010, 11:03 PM

Originally Posted by 1MileCrash

7. it's not my fault that you threw out your receipt so don't get mad at me when i can't and won't give you cash back on returns

now a good customer service would be looking in the computer for that transaction, searching by a sold part number possibly, printing the copy of the receipt and then giving cash back

but it's just me from my casino worker years where there are GUESTS not CUSTOMERS and you have to go the extra mile to keep them happy
me right now thinks the same way as you

**raynor139** · 05-30-2010, 11:05 PM

"You work here?"

"Nope just wearing the uniform and name badge b/c i thought be cool"

"So you work here?"

"yeah i work here"

"Oh well then i have a question for you"

"K"

"Well I bought this wal-mart brand electronic and i cant figure it out can you show me how?"

"You do realize you came to Target to ask about a wal-mart item when Wal-mart is right next door?"

"Yeah, so can you help?"

(Sigh I hate my life)

I do not miss those days.

**95camaroZNC** · 05-31-2010, 04:53 AM

I work in a grocery store as a customer service manager right now, you havent seen bad...... you dont even understand or know bad.

**excrider121** · 05-31-2010, 05:27 AM

Here's one I just got:

Me: "Thank you for calling ABC this is Seth."
Idiot: "Are you open?"

Correct me if I'm wrong (it has happened once or twice), but have you ever called a place of business and had them answer when they were closed?

Me: *sigh* "Yes we are can I help you?"
Idiot: "I need a furl pump for my Burick."

Whose stupid idea was it to but an 'r' in fuel and Buick? Probably the same guy that put an 'r' in wash and says the word 'asked' as 'axed'.

**pecha** · 05-31-2010, 06:33 AM

Originally Posted by excrider121

Here's one I just got:

Me: "Thank you for calling ABC this is Seth."
Idiot: "Are you open?"

Correct me if I'm wrong (it has happened once or twice), but have you ever called a place of business and had them answer when they were closed?

Me: *sigh* "Yes we are can I help you?"
Idiot: "I need a furl pump for my Burick."

Whose stupid idea was it to but an 'r' in fuel and Buick? Probably the same guy that put an 'r' in wash and says the word 'asked' as 'axed'.

you are wrong
I've called restaurants with the same question at 10.30am and the answer was "NO, we open at 11am"
Just because somebody answers the phone doesn't mean they're open for business.

**1MileCrash** · 05-31-2010, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by pecha

now a good customer service would be looking in the computer for that transaction, searching by a sold part number possibly, printing the copy of the receipt and then giving cash back

but it's just me from my casino worker years where there are GUESTS not CUSTOMERS and you have to go the extra mile to keep them happy
me right now thinks the same way as you

i can't look through the computer system cause i don't have authorization...i'm not management. if we're slow one of the managers may look through there for it but if we're busy they're sol cause i have to get people in and out quick. half the time the person doesn't even know when they bought it so at that point we wouldn't be able to look it up at all cause we have to know the date of purchase.

and we too are required to answer the phone before the doors are opened and after they are closed...which is a real pain in the ass when you're trying to get the store opened and the guy won't shut up about how great of a car he has but could i just help him figure out why it's smoking a little bit. i don't know i don't have time i have to get the store ready and now somebody sees me and thinks we're open and is banging on the door two inches away from the closed and hours sign.

**excrider121** · 05-31-2010, 07:54 AM

Originally Posted by pecha

you are wrong
I've called restaurants with the same question at 10.30am and the answer was "NO, we open at 11am"
Just because somebody answers the phone doesn't mean they're open for business.

lol, toldya

**excrider121** · 05-31-2010, 08:30 AM

Originally Posted by 1MileCrash

i can't look through the computer system cause i don't have authorization...i'm not management. if we're slow one of the managers may look through there for it but if we're busy they're sol cause i have to get people in and out quick. half the time the person doesn't even know when they bought it so at that point we wouldn't be able to look it up at all cause we have to know the date of purchase.

and we too are required to answer the phone before the doors are opened and after they are closed...which is a real pain in the ass when you're trying to get the store opened and the guy won't shut up about how great of a car he has but could i just help him figure out why it's smoking a little bit. i don't know i don't have time i have to get the store ready and now somebody sees me and thinks we're open and is banging on the door two inches away from the closed and hours sign.

I feel for you. I have had one of my closing managers open the door and let new customers in after hours...