what would you do?

[0rion]

I know what I would do but me and my older brother had this discussion tonight.

Background. My mom died several years ago. She had an old green bowl that belonged to her mom that my older brother said he wanted.....and that was all he wanted. Me and my younger brother could have everything else. He just wanted mom's bowl because it was what mom used for pistachio fluff she made for him everytime he came home. We rode down together for the funeral and when we got there he looked in the cabinets and found the bowl but just left it in the cabinet to get after the funeral stuff was done. A couple days later the bowl came up missing.
My Aunt (mom's sister) is a facebook junky. She just posted a picture over the holiday of some food in a bowl......that same green bowl. Seems that while she was over it managed to find it's way to her car somehow. Keep in mind that this is her mother's bowl too but when grandma died and the 3 sisters divided everything mom got the bowl. My Aunt has had a hard road. Been divorced a few times and ~25 years ago her son was killed by a hit and run driver at the age of 10 after she told him to walk home from a friends house. She found his body in the ditch when he didn't show up. She's never been right since then which is understandable.
What would you do? Would you call her out on it or just let it go due to everything she's been through?

[RedSuperSport]

I'd take the bowl back

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[RedSuperSport]

But I'm a prick

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[35th-ANV-SS]

I'd probably take the bowl back too. If you don't want to confront her on it...just steal it back the next time you are there. Then, post a picture of it on FB

[KahanaReef]

Being as it was her Mothers bowl, maybe she didn't think any of you guys would even want it or had any sentimental attachment to it. Perhaps it never crossed her mind that it meant something to one of you as it did to her

At the same time though, it wasn't right for her to just take it without asking. Memories are important. We often attach memories to objects. Especially after we lose someone. For her it's an attachment to her sister, her mother, as well as her own childhood. She's lost quite a bit it would seem.

You'd be well within your rights to say something and ask for it back. Or, you could let it be. Depends on what's more important to you...

[kenro23]

If anything, you or your younger brother should be the one to talk to your Aunt and let her know that it was the ONLY thing your other brother wanted. If she has a story as to why she wants the bowl, then that has to be sorted out between the two of them. I couldnt imagine that she would not give the bowl back if it were brought to her attention.

[WS6SP33D]

i would call her out on it first then take the bowl back.

[KMdef9]

Keep the tradition going, get the bowl back, and keep passing it down through the generations.

[0rion]

I called her out which was my plan the whole time.....my older brother said he'd just let it drop. Probably should've listened to him. She said she bought that one in a 3 piece set off ebay and that mom's bowl was missing before she came over. Thinking back I think she may be right....that bowl may have been missing before she got there. Woops. I'll have to ask my brothers and see what they remember.....she could be right but it would be a miracle I think to find this exact bowl on ebay. I believe I'll just let it drop now.

picture of said bowl

[KahanaReef]

Actually, the jadeite bowls are quite popular. Especially the older ones. I have the set that came with my grandmothers Mix Master from the 40's. Sadly, two of them got demolished during the Northridge earthquake though. My point being, they are readily available. Originals as well as replicas

Here

fire king jadite bowl | eBay

[0rion]

Actually, the jadeite bowls are quite popular. Especially the older ones. I have the set that came with my grandmothers Mix Master from the 40's. Sadly, two of them got demolished during the Northridge earthquake though. My point being, they are readily available. Originals as well as replicas

Here

fire king jadite bowl | eBay

woops.....oh well. Not the first time I've got a case of the ass with someone for no reason and probably won't be the last. I'll apologize to her and move on. Still doesn't explain wtf happened to that bowl. I don't understand why someone would just take that bowl...bothers the hell out of me. There were also 3 letters that she wrote to me and my brothers that weren't supposed to be opened until after she was gone. Those disappeared too out of her dresser. My younger brother saw those there a few weeks before she died. She may have done something with those but not sure why she would......it'll bother me the rest of my life though wondering what was in that letter.

[KahanaReef]

Shit happens...

I have a few questions I'd love to be able to ask my father and get answers for as well. Annoying little mysteries left behind just to drive us nuts

[0rion]

Shit happens...

I have a few questions I'd love to be able to ask my father and get answers for as well. Annoying little mysteries left behind just to drive us nuts

I've wondered about those letters for several years now. I know Mom was pretty depressed for a while after dad died so I'm wondering if she wrote them then and changed her mind about what she wrote later and tossed them. She was diabetic and in a span of a few months lost dad and one leg up to the knee. Her other one was going to be next but she had other things happen and died before they had to take that one off. My parents are a sore spot with me.....they both died way to young (62) and never really got to know my kids. Dad never met my daughter even though I tell enough stories about them that the kids feel like they knew them.

[KahanaReef]

Somethings we'll just never have the answers to...

My Dad died at age 60 back in 2003. Emphysema. Not a nice way to go. Still took me 4 more years before I was able to quit smoking though

It's good that you keep their memory alive with the kids. It's important for them, and for you.

[0rion]

My mom had some of the best sayings out there.......she was one of those people that had a saying for everything. I wish I could remember them all but the ones I do remember I still use and will pass down to the kids when they get a little older. haha

We were sitting on mom's porch one time and the guy across the street had just moved in a few months earlier. I asked mom if she knew anything about him and she said " I just know he ain't worth the bullet it'd take to kill him."

Being a diabetic she always had to eat bullshit. The doctor one time tried to give her a pamphlet about what foods did what and she told him she didn't need it....she already knew what she could have and couldn't have. He asked her how she knew that and she said " I put it in my mouth....if it tastes good I spit it out."

She would be in the kitchen at night making a snack or something and one of us would go in the kitchen and ask "Whatcha making?" and she'd say " Bowl of shit.....you want some?"

She'd be making us dinner and us kids and dad would be walking around the kitchen hungry kinda checking stuff out. Eventually it'd piss her off and she'd say "If I fart I'll let ya'll know."

She just had tons and tons of that kinda stuff.

[KahanaReef]

Sounds like you have some good memories of her.

My Dad had a rather sarcastic, sharp wit about him as well What I remember most about him as a kid, was not to piss him off

[blackSS01]

woops.....oh well. Not the first time I've got a case of the ass with someone for no reason and probably won't be the last. I'll apologize to her and move on. Still doesn't explain wtf happened to that bowl. I don't understand why someone would just take that bowl...bothers the hell out of me. There were also 3 letters that she wrote to me and my brothers that weren't supposed to be opened until after she was gone. Those disappeared too out of her dresser. My younger brother saw those there a few weeks before she died. She may have done something with those but not sure why she would......it'll bother me the rest of my life though wondering what was in that letter.

I have something similar too and I feel you're pain 0rion. Before my brother passed away, he wrote a note and I was never allowed to see it (Not sure why ) And after a while I kinda forgot about the letter. When I finally remembered it and asked my Mother, she forgot where she put it Kinda pisses me off but I can't do shit about it so I just keep rolling on with my life. Damn life and its mysterious ways