What Tiger Woods should have said

[86 IROC-Z]

At the press conference:


"To my wife, I'm sorry. I fucked up but I'm not changing so you'll either need to put up with this shit or I'll stroke you the check that I agreed to in the pre-nup.... sorry.
To my fans, get over it. Where I stick my dick is none of your business. If you care.... sorry. I don't need any of you in order to make 10 times as much in one year than you'll make in a life time. I promise to continue to hit 4 irons from 210 yards to within 10' of the hole and drop puts that you couldn't read in a million years. If that's not good enough for you, then go watch tennis...
To the media. You cocksuckers are the only ones more two-faced than I am. Kissing my ass for all those years and then ripping me every chance you've had since Thanksgiving. Fuck All ya'll. I'm glad I don't have to take the time to sit and answer the same bullshit questions over and over again.
To the other golfers. Kiss my cablanasian ass! You motherfuckers come out ripping me when I've put more fucking money in your pockets than you could ever count.
You think anyone's been paying to see Jesper-fucking-Parnavik? Give me a fucking break. I'm almost tempted to give up golf just to punish you guys but I think it's going to be more fun to practice for the next few weeks and get back to making you all my bitches...
That's all I got today folks..... see ya at Augusta !.... Oh, and Bambi, if you're listening I'll meet you at the Ritz in 45 minutes... T "

[knightryda01]

I agree....

[korndawg]

LOL! Spot on, spot on.

[KahanaReef]

That's pretty good

[pecha]

dude, the press conference was over a month ago
you're slipping

[pajeff02]

Nice.

[SiggyZ]

Now Tiger and songstress Leann Rhymes were supposedly an 'item' until her daddy stepped in.

[waldo]

I like it.....but i think it would drive fans away.

[CamaroFan71]

Doesn't matter what he says or who he says it to. He's proven himself to be another sports figure who is an ever increasing pile of shit. I wish Elin would have beaten him to death with a 9 iron. Then this shit would be over with.

[pecha]

Doesn't matter what he says or who he says it to. He's proven himself to be another sports figure who is an ever increasing pile of shit. I wish Elin would have beaten him to death with a 9 iron. Then this shit would be over with.

but why is this even in public light?
he's a golf player, why do people try to make more out of him?
Like him for his golfing, not for his private life. Without golf we would have never even heard of him.

[SiggyZ]

Because our society, in general, gets excited about the celebrity culture.

but why is this even in public light?
he's a golf player, why do people try to make more out of him?
Like him for his golfing, not for his private life. Without golf we would have never even heard of him.

[pajeff02]

If people worried as much about themselves as they do everyone else... the world would be a much better place imo.

[SiggyZ]

Very well said.

If people worried as much about themselves as they do everyone else... the world would be a much better place imo.

[KahanaReef]

If people worried as much about themselves as they do everyone else... the world would be a much better place imo.

[KnightmareWS6]

If people worried as much about themselves as they do everyone else... the world would be a much better place imo.

Quote of the Year in my book.

[67CamaroRSSS]

If people worried as much about themselves as they do everyone else... the world would be a much better place imo.

better place? No doubt. But how much fun would that be? Consider the jobs lost without the gossip in the magazines.

[pajeff02]

better place? No doubt. But how much fun would that be? Consider the jobs lost without the gossip in the magazines.

Didn't think about that. Who's Jesse screwing?

[pecha]

If people worried as much about themselves as they do everyone else... the world would be a much better place imo.

is that from Michael Jackson's song?

[Y2KPewterSS]

At the press conference:


"To my wife, I'm sorry. I fucked up but I'm not changing so you'll either need to put up with this shit or I'll stroke you the check that I agreed to in the pre-nup.... sorry.
To my fans, get over it. Where I stick my dick is none of your business. If you care.... sorry. I don't need any of you in order to make 10 times as much in one year than you'll make in a life time. I promise to continue to hit 4 irons from 210 yards to within 10' of the hole and drop puts that you couldn't read in a million years. If that's not good enough for you, then go watch tennis...
To the media. You cocksuckers are the only ones more two-faced than I am. Kissing my ass for all those years and then ripping me every chance you've had since Thanksgiving. Fuck All ya'll. I'm glad I don't have to take the time to sit and answer the same bullshit questions over and over again.
To the other golfers. Kiss my cablanasian ass! You motherfuckers come out ripping me when I've put more fucking money in your pockets than you could ever count.
You think anyone's been paying to see Jesper-fucking-Parnavik? Give me a fucking break. I'm almost tempted to give up golf just to punish you guys but I think it's going to be more fun to practice for the next few weeks and get back to making you all my bitches...
That's all I got today folks..... see ya at Augusta !.... Oh, and Bambi, if you're listening I'll meet you at the Ritz in 45 minutes... T "

He did say this, just in the politically correct/diplomatic kind of panzy way.

[pajeff02]

is that from Michael Jackson's song?

No.