went to the porn shop yesterday

**Modulistic** · 03-26-2007, 08:22 PM

during my most recent ban, I got bored and posted this on an investment site and this post alone got me banned from there. lol.

My cousin, a marine in Iraq, asked me to send him some porn. and liquor. im going to try the old "fill a listerine bottle with whisky" approach.

anyways, i was surprised at how busy it was... quite bustling and probably like 15 heavy breathers were in there at the same time as I was.

first you walk into the building, then you walk through bullet proof glass doors and a counter area into porn central.

15 folks doesnt count the folks in the "private viewing rooms" rooms the existence of I had not previously known. It goes like this - you make a selection and walk up to the counter and the attendant (who makes 15 dollars an hour by the way) takes your selection and inserts it into a DVD player situated behind the counter. You go to the 'private viewing room' and view the dvd. or you can select from the 132 porn channels. your choice.

the attendants earn their salt cleaning the rooms afterwards.

so I made my selections (to purchase not to view) Teenn Dreams Volume#20 - 4 hours. $24.99 buy one get one free. DIRTY SEXY DOLLS Commando fuck dolls on a mission - 4 hours.
8 hour clearance section: 8 hours xxx #20. on clearance for $8.99

my girlfriend was with me the whole time and was pretty much cracking up, and we both commenced to announcing movie titles in loud voices.

then we strolled by the toy section and saw some of the hugest dildos i dont want to imagine wtf they could be used for. two fist simulating devices, one with all four fingers in "pointing" configuration, and one in the classic fist configuration.

vibrators ranging in size from small to horse.

and a sex swing. I kinda want a sex swing heres why.

my OTHER cousin went to vietnam or thailand and got to shoot a grenade at a cow for 5 dollars. then he went to partake in the ladies of the night. sans grenade.

so heres how it works, you go into the room and lay down. theres a basket hanging from the cieling made out of macrame or some shit. theres a hole in the bottom. the lady gets in the basket and an old man comes out and maneuvers the basket over ones erect member. the lady sits down within, and the old man commences to spin the basket with a 5 foot wooden staff. supposedly its the gnarliest way to have sex ever.

so the sex swing has a hole in the seat part and could effectively double as a basket, and I could rig up some way to make a drill or the cieling fan spin the.... well, nevermind.

but the damn thing costs 150 freaking dollars! wtf... I can make a god damn chair for 15 dollars out of yarn or something.

anyways, a very entertaining day, and I wanted to share a part of it with yall.

hope you enjoyed.

**whoa guy** · 03-26-2007, 08:29 PM

so what you and the woman buy?

**Modulistic** · 03-26-2007, 08:31 PM

nothin. i wanted that damn sex swing but im not shelling out 150 bucks for one.

**ATCharming** · 03-26-2007, 08:51 PM

best story ever. how old do u have to be to go into one of those stores? im assuming 18?

**Modulistic** · 03-26-2007, 08:52 PM

shit, I dont even know. yeah prolly 18

**ATCharming** · 03-26-2007, 08:53 PM

cuz legal sex age is what, 16?

but to download porn online, they tell u that u have to be 18, (not that i would know)

i wanna check one out with my gf lol

**94z28l** · 03-26-2007, 10:34 PM

yeah its 18, some are a little more relaxed than others so they might let it slide if you and the girly look old enough

**ATCharming** · 03-26-2007, 10:35 PM

my girly is 17... hmmm

well i never get carded at the movies, while all my friends do (who are all 18)
i think its funny as hell.

**SexOnWheels** · 03-27-2007, 07:07 AM

I see that Eddie was banned at the same time as you Mod?

Even without the 'hammer' you guys are getting punished weekly?

When is Edward going to be back?

**Modulistic** · 03-27-2007, 07:44 AM

Iono?

**ATCharming** · 03-27-2007, 10:23 AM

yea where has ed been too?

**third_shift|studios** · 03-27-2007, 12:07 PM

Originally Posted by ATCharming

cuz legal sex age is what, 16?

but to download porn online, they tell u that u have to be 18, (not that i would know)

i wanna check one out with my gf lol

legal sex...what? age of conscent, but 'legal sex" i've never heard of

**ATCharming** · 03-27-2007, 09:40 PM

Originally Posted by third_shift|studios

legal sex...what? age of conscent, but 'legal sex" i've never heard of

idk if its the right terminology. i just know u gotta be 16 to

unless ur

ing someone over 18.

**86 IROC-Z** · 03-28-2007, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by ATCharming

idk if its the right terminology. i just know u gotta be 16 to

unless ur

ing someone over 18.

Yeah man, 16 would be the age of consent, ie, if they're 15 even if they say they want to, they don't have the 'right' to consent, so whoever does is charged with stat rape

**ATCharming** · 03-28-2007, 04:13 PM

Originally Posted by 86 IROC-Z

Yeah man, 16 would be the age of consent, ie, if they're 15 even if they say they want to, they don't have the 'right' to consent, so whoever does is charged with stat rape

yea until a few months ago my girlfriend committed like 800 rape offenses

**whoa guy** · 03-28-2007, 06:06 PM

Originally Posted by ATCharming

yea until a few months ago my girlfriend committed like 800 rape offenses

ah.. to be 16 again........... the best years of life are just in front of you... Don't do anything stupid!! hahaha

**86 IROC-Z** · 03-28-2007, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by ATCharming

yea until a few months ago my girlfriend committed like 800 rape offenses

I'm a month older than my girlfriend... needless to say, I could have many misdemeanor statutory rape charges against me from during a certain month...

**ATCharming** · 03-28-2007, 08:11 PM

haha. yea im young. and i did just get home from doing some very stupid stuff. i could have died tonight.

crazy assholes..... (long story)

**Secret Formula** · 03-28-2007, 08:15 PM

care to elaborate?

**ATCharming** · 03-28-2007, 08:20 PM

Originally Posted by Secret Formula

care to elaborate?

i hijack too many threads, ill put it in my "finally bought a car" thread, just cuz its mine.

http://www.ls1.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44665&page=5

it will take a few min to type out tho

sorry Mod, for jackin ur thread...