A Very Carpy Christmas

**pajeff02** · 12-24-2012, 07:18 PM

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through Carpy's house,
the whole damn family was drunk as a louse.
Carpy's stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
he liked to dress in drag so they needed the air.

With his Ma in the whorehouse and Pa in the jail,
Carpy had just settled down to a good nip of tail.
When out on the lawn Carpy heard such a clatter,
he rose from his sister to see what was the matter.

He ran to the window and threw up the sash,
tripped on a broomstick and fell on his fat ass.
And before his red rimmed eyes what should appear?
But a rusted broken sleigh and eight screwy reindeer.

There was a man in the back playing with his dick,
Carpy knew right then that it must be St. Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
Carpy giggled when he realized the bastard had fell.

He was dressed all in red from his head to his foot,
From the twinkle in his eyes Carpy knew he was caput.
He reeked of cheap gin and a hooker's perfume,
suddenly he farted and fogged the whole room.

With a wink of his eye and a grab of his crotch,
All Carpy could do was grin and reach for his Scotch.
He spoke not a word as he filled the stockings with beer,
And then a huge rubber dick for Carpy to queer.

Shoving his finger knuckle deep in his nose,
up the chimney he muttered, "This really blows".
Then he fell from the roof much to Carpy's delight,
flying away he exclaimed, "This is going to be one hell of a night!"