tonights rant brought to you by transformers...

**0rion** · 02-14-2008, 09:11 PM

Ok, so my boy is into transformers. For x-mas we bought him the big ass transformer that turned into a tank....I forget it's name. He's 4 the package said 5+ so I got it anyhow because I figure he can work it out eventually, he's pretty good about that stuff. He opens it up at x-mas and wants me to transform it into a tank for him. I look at this damn thing and notice right away that there are a ton of moveable parts. I finally break down after 15-20 minutes of twisting on this damn thing and get the instructions out. The thing that my keen senses pick up on immediately is it's an 18 step process to transform this damn thing. 18 steps. I would be willing to bet that it's less than 18 steps for the chinese to even build it. 2.5 hours later and a little help from my brother n law and whola.....a tank.
Fast forward 2 months and we're out a few nights ago and I decide to buy him another one. This time bumble bee. Except I'm getting smarter. I don't buy him the big ass version but the smaller version. Get it home and open it up and I go straight to the instructions this time. 12 damn steps. I've managed to transform it twice for him so far but tonight I fought that damn thing for a couple of hours. I had something wrong somewhere and ended up popping the damn things head off trying to get it back into a car. I finally got it but how in the hell is a 5 year old supposed to do that crap? I'm hiding the damn thing before I go to bed so he doesn't ask me to transform it tomorrow.

**Zboner** · 02-14-2008, 09:13 PM

thats way to many steps, lol

**FuhBreezeE** · 02-14-2008, 09:13 PM

Shoulda just bought a bike, far easier.

**twozs** · 02-14-2008, 09:15 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

Get it home and open it up and I go straight to the instructions this time. 12 damn steps..

possibly a 12 step program that comes with it or go strait to step 13 (smash to oblivion)

**0rion** · 02-14-2008, 09:17 PM

you should see these instructions. There's not even any words. Just those damn red arrows that represent movement.

It's some comical stuff. I get to cussing and fighting this thing and my wife made me go upstairs.

**Zboner** · 02-14-2008, 09:19 PM

haha, i cant stop laughing

**Hot Black Trans-Am** · 02-14-2008, 09:29 PM

I love watching people get pissed at stuff like that!

**0rion** · 02-14-2008, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by FuhBreezeE

Shoulda just bought a bike, far easier.

he already has a bike. That's a completely seperate rant. Flat tires. I went through a whole pack of patches last year on just the front tire. How does a 4 year old boy manage to get that many flats on a 8" tall bicycle riding it around our basketball court? 2 of them were from a thorn. The rest I never found the culprit. I go out last week to work in the shed and notice the rear tire is flat. The damn thing got a flat in storage. Front tire has plenty of air though, maybe that's due to the 2" build up of bike patches on the tube. It'd take a 10 penny nail to penetrate all those patches.

**Hot Black Trans-Am** · 02-14-2008, 09:35 PM

Sounds like time for solid tires!

**Demon_Z28** · 02-14-2008, 09:43 PM

ahahaha man thats great

**hamburger68** · 02-15-2008, 02:26 AM

Originally Posted by twozs

possibly a 12 step program that comes with it or go strait to step 13 (smash to oblivion)

no, no, the 12 steps represent the 12 months of anti agression therapy orion will need after he's been through the whole collection.

**bandit95** · 02-15-2008, 06:54 AM

i have a bunch of the old ones and they are a lot easier to transform. i tried the new optimus prime and got nowhere with it.

**Spaz** · 02-15-2008, 06:54 AM

Originally Posted by 0rion

you should see these instructions. There's not even any words. Just those damn red arrows that represent movement.

It's some comical stuff. I get to cussing and fighting this thing and my wife made me go upstairs.

more than meets the eye?

**Mike's02Z28M6** · 02-15-2008, 06:58 AM

Thanks for the early morning laughs. Don't know which is funnier, the transformer or all the flat tires on that bike

**ls1blackbeauty98** · 02-15-2008, 07:19 AM

Originally Posted by 0rion

Ok, so my boy is into transformers. For x-mas we bought him the big ass transformer that turned into a tank....I forget it's name. He's 4 the package said 5+ so I got it anyhow because I figure he can work it out eventually, he's pretty good about that stuff. He opens it up at x-mas and wants me to transform it into a tank for him. I look at this damn thing and notice right away that there are a ton of moveable parts. I finally break down after 15-20 minutes of twisting on this damn thing and get the instructions out. The thing that my keen senses pick up on immediately is it's an 18 step process to transform this damn thing. 18 steps. I would be willing to bet that it's less than 18 steps for the chinese to even build it. 2.5 hours later and a little help from my brother n law and whola.....a tank.
Fast forward 2 months and we're out a few nights ago and I decide to buy him another one. This time bumble bee. Except I'm getting smarter. I don't buy him the big ass version but the smaller version. Get it home and open it up and I go straight to the instructions this time. 12 damn steps. I've managed to transform it twice for him so far but tonight I fought that damn thing for a couple of hours. I had something wrong somewhere and ended up popping the damn things head off trying to get it back into a car. I finally got it but how in the hell is a 5 year old supposed to do that crap? I'm hiding the damn thing before I go to bed so he doesn't ask me to transform it tomorrow.

thats awesome

**ls1blackbeauty98** · 02-15-2008, 07:20 AM

Originally Posted by 0rion

he already has a bike. That's a completely seperate rant. Flat tires. I went through a whole pack of patches last year on just the front tire. How does a 4 year old boy manage to get that many flats on a 8" tall bicycle riding it around our basketball court? 2 of them were from a thorn. The rest I never found the culprit. I go out last week to work in the shed and notice the rear tire is flat. The damn thing got a flat in storage. Front tire has plenty of air though, maybe that's due to the 2" build up of bike patches on the tube. It'd take a 10 penny nail to penetrate all those patches.

**third_shift|studios** · 02-15-2008, 07:21 AM

this is the best thread ever

**Nitro_Junkie97** · 02-15-2008, 06:30 PM

you should have just bought him some legos.

**310stanger** · 02-15-2008, 06:47 PM

im seriously laughing my fuckin ass off reading this thread lol

haha thats gotta suck when an adult gets pissed at a childs toy lol
how the heck does a 4 yr old get flats that much? is he like a hardcore 4 yr old bmxer? haha

**0rion** · 02-15-2008, 06:52 PM

Originally Posted by 310stanger

im seriously laughing my fuckin ass off reading this thread lol

haha thats gotta suck when an adult gets pissed at a childs toy lol
how the heck does a 4 yr old get flats that much? is he like a hardcore 4 yr old bmxer? haha

no, that's just it. It's a really small little bike with training wheels that he rides around our basketball court. It's not like he even takes it out anywhere. This summer when he has a flat I'm gonna pull that front tube out and take a picture of it. It's some unreal shit.