tonight spaz weeps...

**Spaz** · 12-04-2007, 04:38 PM

my grand father had a stroke today... he doesn't remember any one or anything...
one side of his body is paralyzed...
he only repeats what we say in an attempt to remember what is going on... he doesn't even know...
he is 91 years old...
he lost his wife years ago and has prayed to god every night that god take his life so he can be with his love...
he is a great man and a hero to me...

is it wrong to wish that for his sake he suffers no more so that he can rest and be with his love... i don't want him to suffer any longer... he gave so much to this world...

he should have his peace...

i'm just torn... i really never was close to him... but god damn it.. he doesn't deserve this punishment...

**Nhra Firebird** · 12-04-2007, 04:42 PM

Originally Posted by Spaz

my grand father had a stroke today... he doesn't remember any one or anything...
one side of his body is paralyzed...
he only repeats what we say in an attempt to remember what is going on... he doesn't even know...
he is 91 years old...
he lost his wife years ago and has prayed to god every night that god take his life so he can be with his love...
he is a great man and a hero to me...

is it wrong to wish that for his sake he suffers no more so that he can rest and be with his love... i don't want him to suffer any longer... he gave so much to this world...

he should have his peace...

i'm just torn... i really never was close to him... but god damn it.. he doesn't deserve this punishment...

sorry to hear that man!!! I hope the best for you and your family

**Spaz** · 12-04-2007, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by Nhra Firebird

sorry to hear that man!!! I hope the best for you and your family

as morbid as it seems... i just want him to pass away with no pain... so that he can be with the love the left this world before him...

for all he did he shouldn't be like he is now... i can't imagine the pain he has endured... i'd have killed my self long ago... his will is more strong than i can imagine...

**BIG D's SS** · 12-04-2007, 04:47 PM

Sorry to hear that. Our prayers are with you and your family.

**0rion** · 12-04-2007, 04:48 PM

sorry to hear about that spaz. A stroke necessarily isn't the end. At 91 he'll have a rough road ahead of him but my grandpa had a stroke at 77 and still made it almost another 20 years. He didn't fully recover but if you didn't know he had one you really couldn't tell. It wasn't like he was bed ridden or anything. He too lost movement on one side of his body for a short time but it came back, he just had to use a cane to walk.

**Spaz** · 12-04-2007, 04:49 PM

Originally Posted by BIG D's SS

Originally Posted by Nhra Firebird

sorry to hear that man!!! I hope the best for you and your family

Sorry to hear that. Our prayers are with you and your family.

thanks guys... it is very apreciated...

**Spaz** · 12-04-2007, 04:54 PM

Originally Posted by 0rion

sorry to hear about that spaz. A stroke necessarily isn't the end. At 91 he'll have a rough road ahead of him but my grandpa had a stroke at 77 and still made it almost another 20 years. He didn't fully recover but if you didn't know he had one you really couldn't tell. It wasn't like he was bed ridden or anything. He too lost movement on one side of his body for a short time but it came back, he just had to use a cane to walk.

i appreciate what you are saying... but you don't understand... he wants it to end... when my grand mother died he lost his every thing... he doesn't want to be here... look at the new paper... tell me you'd want to be around this place at that age... he knows his children are grown up and successful and that his grand children are left in good hands... he just wans to go... for him to be here longer would be daggers to him... right now he doesn't even knwo he was married... he only knows he is 91 years old and the name of the hospital he is in... he doesn't ven know his own children... he knows nothing but can speak... what kind of life is that... he can't even move on side of his body... it's just wrong... soo fuckin wrong...

**TransAmy** · 12-04-2007, 04:54 PM

[QUOTE=Spaz;1166712]
is it wrong to wish that for his sake he suffers no more so that he can rest and be with his love... i don't want him to suffer any longer... he gave so much to this world...

he should have his peace...
[QUOTE]

im so sorry hun. i dont think its bad for you to feel that way, of course you dont want to see him go thru this. all i can offer you is my thoughts and

and

**transamprincess98** · 12-04-2007, 04:55 PM

So sorry to hear this Ryan. If there is anything I can do don't hesitiate to call me

**Spaz** · 12-04-2007, 04:59 PM

[quote=TransAmy;1166789][quote=Spaz;1166712]
is it wrong to wish that for his sake he suffers no more so that he can rest and be with his love... i don't want him to suffer any longer... he gave so much to this world...

he should have his peace...

im so sorry hun. i dont think its bad for you to feel that way, of course you dont want to see him go thru this. all i can offer you is my thoughts and

and

thank you... i just feel shitty cause only me and my brother want him to move on to the hands of god... every one else want him to stay forever... no one thinks about what he want accept me and my bro...

**Spaz** · 12-04-2007, 05:00 PM

Originally Posted by transamprincess98

So sorry to hear this Ryan. If there is anything I can do don't hesitiate to call me

\thanks erica... it's just tough because when he finally remembers every thing i'm afraid he will be crushed...

**TransAmy** · 12-04-2007, 05:01 PM

i understand that. you cant help the way you feel. if you have the best interest of your grandfather in mind, then you cannot be wrong.

**BULLET_WS6** · 12-04-2007, 05:01 PM

Originally Posted by Spaz

is it wrong to wish that for his sake he suffers no more so that he can rest and be with his love... i don't want him to suffer any longer... he gave so much to this world...

he should have his peace...

i'm just torn... i really never was close to him... but god damn it.. he doesn't deserve this punishment...

im in the same boat as this part with my gma... i know how you feel and its not wrong... its wishing him not to suffer... death is not allways a bad thing

sorry man wish i could help more but unfortunately not much helps

**transamprincess98** · 12-04-2007, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by Spaz

\thanks erica... it's just tough because when he finally remembers every thing i'm afraid he will be crushed...

Considering what you have said here about him, he sounds like a strong enough man to be able to handle this situation with courage. Be strong for him and don't fear. Everything works it self out in the end.

**Spaz** · 12-04-2007, 05:10 PM

Originally Posted by TransAmy

i understand that. you cant help the way you feel. if you have the best interest of your grandfather in mind, then you cannot be wrong.

i long for the time when i can finally rest... but i will do my best to enjoy the journey before that... but given his circumstances... he is due his rest... anything other is tourment and pain...

**GTP231** · 12-04-2007, 05:44 PM

Been through something similar so I understand your thoughts. Not wrong at all. Hope things go the right way. (sorry nicest way I can think to put it)

**ss~zoso~ss** · 12-04-2007, 05:46 PM

sorry to hear this

**FlyinZ28** · 12-04-2007, 06:13 PM

no i dont think its bad for you to hope/wish that, i thought of the same when my grandmother was diagnosed with stage 3-4 cancer, my prayers are with you as well, hope everything turns out as good as it can

**FSANE** · 12-04-2007, 06:19 PM

My grandmother is in ER as we speak. and I am working around her instead of being next to her. Btw, she is in the same hospital as I work in.

in case you are wondering why and how I am typing this, well I took my 30 minute break, but they are doing an EKG on her, so I cant be in the same room, so Iphone to the rescue.

**Dax** · 12-04-2007, 08:09 PM

Originally Posted by Spaz

my grand father had a stroke today... he doesn't remember any one or anything...
one side of his body is paralyzed...
he only repeats what we say in an attempt to remember what is going on... he doesn't even know...
he is 91 years old...
he lost his wife years ago and has prayed to god every night that god take his life so he can be with his love...
he is a great man and a hero to me...

is it wrong to wish that for his sake he suffers no more so that he can rest and be with his love... i don't want him to suffer any longer... he gave so much to this world...

he should have his peace...

i'm just torn... i really never was close to him... but god damn it.. he doesn't deserve this punishment...

FWIW, I don't think it's wrong of you to wish that for his sake. Good luck Spaz, I hope that this ordeal eventually ends relatively well for all involved.