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  1. #1
    O U 8 1 2 Spaz's Avatar
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    Talking spaz joke of the week...

    One day Little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parents room to check it out.



    He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad going at it behind her. Johnny's dad saw him and gave him a little wink as Johnny closed the door.



    After business was finished Dad went to check on little Johnny.He opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser and little Johnny going at it behind her.



    Dad yelled, "Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!"



    Little Johnny replied, "It's not so funny when its your mom is it?!"

  2. #2
    Senior Member 1MileCrash's Avatar
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    hahahaha...nice.

    okay i got one.

    so this young woman is out with her father at the mall one afternoon. they stop at the food court which is quite busy and get a bite to eat. they end up sitting down next to a teenage boy that has wild multi-colored high spiked hair, piercings, tattoos...the works.

    the young woman notices that her father is watching this young man closely. the teenager notices this also. every time he looks up he catches the old man staring at him.

    finally the boy has had enough. "what's your problem old man," says the boy "didn't you ever do anything wild and crazy when you were young."

    the young woman sits back and bites her tongue.

    "well," says the old man "i had sex with a peacock once and i was just trying to figure out if you were my son."

  3. #3
    O U 8 1 2 Spaz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1MileCrash View Post
    hahahaha...nice.

    okay i got one.

    so this young woman is out with her father at the mall one afternoon. they stop at the food court which is quite busy and get a bite to eat. they end up sitting down next to a teenage boy that has wild multi-colored high spiked hair, piercings, tattoos...the works.

    the young woman notices that her father is watching this young man closely. the teenager notices this also. every time he looks up he catches the old man staring at him.

    finally the boy has had enough. "what's your problem old man," says the boy "didn't you ever do anything wild and crazy when you were young."

    the young woman sits back and bites her tongue.

    "well," says the old man "i had sex with a peacock once and i was just trying to figure out if you were my son."
    super!!!

  4. #4
    Member bruiser55's Avatar
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    both of those are hilarious!!! hahaha

  5. #5
    NY Representative basballny2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spaz View Post
    One day Little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parents room to check it out.



    He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad going at it behind her. Johnny's dad saw him and gave him a little wink as Johnny closed the door.



    After business was finished Dad went to check on little Johnny.He opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser and little Johnny going at it behind her.



    Dad yelled, "Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!"



    Little Johnny replied, "It's not so funny when its your mom is it?!"

    hahahaha

  6. #6
    O U 8 1 2 Spaz's Avatar
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    i like the other one... that is something i would say...

  7. #7
    Puerto Rico LS1 Rikki_SeVeN's Avatar
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    hahahahaha... I damn near pissed myself!...

  8. #8
    Senior Member 1MileCrash's Avatar
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    haha...well you can thank my dentist...he's the one that told it to me

  9. #9
    Paid 2 Post Daycrew SexOnWheels's Avatar
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    Good thread so far.

    Everytime I see 1mile's avatar I think of Bob's fighting skillz:


  10. #10
    Rice Killa JwMonE99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SexOnWheels View Post

    Click for full size
    GET THE FUCK OUT!!!

  11. #11
    Member banditgirl78's Avatar
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    Both jokes are hilarious!

    Here's another one for you!

    A man admiring his body says to his wife, "Look, 200lbs of dynamite!" Wife says, "Fucking shame you only got 3 inches of fuse."

  12. #12
    insert witty title here Blk00ws6's Avatar
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    20 Ways To Make HIS Xmas XXXmas!


    1. Trim his tree.

    2. Lick his luscious candy cane.

    3. Be his "ho-ho-ho" for the holidays.

    4. Polish his christmas balls.

    5. Ride him like a reindeer.

    6. Taste his sweet egg-nog.

    7. Deck the halls with moans of pleasure.

    8. Fa, la, la, latio- la, la, la, la.

    9. Spark his menorah with a hot strip tease.

    10. Request a stiff stocking stuff-her!

    11. Make his Kris Kringle tingle.

    12. Gift wrap yourself in sexy lingere.

    13. Unwrap his package.

    14. Hang mistletoe from any place you want kissed.

    15. Rock his jingle bells in the frosty air.

    16. Make your Rudolph's hose as red as his nose.

    17. Heat him up with a snow job.

    18. Give the Christmas carolers a show of your own.

    19. Dress up as Santa's nasty little helper.

    20. Make sure you're naughty, so it's nice.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Nhra Firebird's Avatar
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    A boy sitting on Santas lap and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose and says "I bet your name is (spells out ) J i m m y ?"

    The little boys eyes light up and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose again and says " I bet you want a (spelled out ) b i k e ?"

    Little Jimmys eyes light up and he asks "How'd you know that ?"

    Santa replied "Because I'm Santa I know everything".

    Little Jimmy gets a funny look in his eye and says "I bet you like (spells out ) g i r l s ?"

    Santa says "Yes, how'd you know that ?" The boy says " Beacause your finger smells like P U S S Y !"

  14. #14
    Member banditgirl78's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nhra Firebird View Post
    A boy sitting on Santas lap and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose and says "I bet your name is (spells out ) J i m m y ?"

    The little boys eyes light up and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose again and says " I bet you want a (spelled out ) b i k e ?"

    Little Jimmys eyes light up and he asks "How'd you know that ?"

    Santa replied "Because I'm Santa I know everything".

    Little Jimmy gets a funny look in his eye and says "I bet you like (spells out ) g i r l s ?"

    Santa says "Yes, how'd you know that ?" The boy says " Beacause your finger smells like P U S S Y !"
    I almost posted that one when I read it!

  15. #15
    Member whiteLS1TA's Avatar
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    Little Johnny and his grandfather are fishing by a peaceful lake beneath some weeping willow trees. The grandfather takes out a cigarette and lights it.

    Little Johnny says, "Grandpa, can I try one of your cigarettes?"

    "Can you touch your butt with your penis?"

    "No," replies Little Johnny.

    "Then, you're not big enough," explains the grandfather.

    A few minutes pass, and the man takes a beer out of his cooler and opens it.

    Little Johnny then asks, "Grandpa, can I have some of your beer?"

    "Can you touch your asshole with your penis?"

    "No," says Little Johnny.

    "Then, you're not old enough."

    Time passes and they continue to fish. Little Johnny gets hungry so he reaches into his lunch box, takes out a bag of cookies, and eats one.

    The grandfather looks at him and says, "They look good, can I have one of your cookies?"

    "Can you touch your asshole with your penis?"

    "I most certainly can!" says the grandfather proudly.

    "Then go fuck yourself... these are my cookies!

  16. #16
    Member whiteLS1TA's Avatar
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    had to post this one

    Little Johnny is returning home from the store swinging a loaf of bread in one hand. His other hand in his pants pocket. Off in the distance, Father Joseph sees little Johnny and considers, "This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to little Johnny." Father Joseph approaches little Johnny and says, "I see that you have the Staff of Life in one hand."

    "Yep," replies little Johnny. "And I have a loaf of bread in the other!"

  17. #17
    O U 8 1 2 Spaz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nhra Firebird View Post
    A boy sitting on Santas lap and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose and says "I bet your name is (spells out ) J i m m y ?"

    The little boys eyes light up and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose again and says " I bet you want a (spelled out ) b i k e ?"

    Little Jimmys eyes light up and he asks "How'd you know that ?"

    Santa replied "Because I'm Santa I know everything".

    Little Jimmy gets a funny look in his eye and says "I bet you like (spells out ) g i r l s ?"

    Santa says "Yes, how'd you know that ?" The boy says " Beacause your finger smells like P U S S Y !"

  18. #18
    Epic Fail: 12mpg 3.4 B34M3R's Avatar
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    LOL, you guys are on the ball today!

  19. #19
    O U 8 1 2 Spaz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by B34M3R View Post
    LOL, you guys are on the ball today!
    who's?!

  20. #20
    Member Neo's Avatar
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    Must be Lance Armstrong, he only said one.

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