Something to get off my chest!

**SunsetZ** · 06-24-2006, 02:18 PM

Well, I gotta rant a little bit about this because I am throwing myself a little pity party right now! Okay, so my husband and I are separated at his request. Okay, fine. Well, he wants a divorce. I think that our marriage could be saved. But that's beside the point really because both people have to even remotely want that for it to happen. Well, things have been fine. I know that once you're separated you should be able to do your own thing and whatever... blah blah blah. But okay, here's the part that gets me. I told him that since he wanted the divorce, he needed to file it and pay for it. Okay, well he said he didn't know where to get the paperwork. I sat down and got the paperwork for him from the internet. Then I filled it out for myself. Told him he needed to fill out his part. No big deal right? I even told him that we would go as petitioner and co-petitioner so there wasn't big messes in court. Even though that was not what I wanted. Well, he took the paperwork over a month ago saying he would file it. Still hasn't been filed. Then the other day I found out that we have to sign the papers in front of the county clerk. So I told him that.... he would have known that if he had done what he was supposed to and filed them in the first place, right? Okay so thats not even my big problem. My big problem is that instead of taking care of finishing his marriage with me, he is leading a normal single guy life.... going out with friends, taking girls out on dates, modding his car... etc. I really don't think this is right and I think he needs to finish what he started with me! I am not saying he can't date and whatever else but seriously, he needs to get the ball rolling with the divorce first!!!!! Thank you for letting me get this out. I am better now!

**whoa guy** · 06-24-2006, 02:21 PM

just from your tone, it sounds like divorce is what you both want.. how long have you two been married?

**Mr. Luos** · 06-24-2006, 02:30 PM

Honestly, knowing both of you, this isn't the right place for this.

**SunsetZ** · 06-24-2006, 02:44 PM

We have been married for 2 years. And anybody who knows us, no names are being said, no specifics are being done and yeah I can see how you would say this isn't the place for this but I think as long as it doesn't get "personal" in that way, it can be okay.

**Mr. Luos** · 06-24-2006, 02:47 PM

Just saying that because I know he posts here. Not sure if he checks this section or not.

I understand why you posted, but maybe because I know both of you, it seems personal.

Good luck on everything.
To both of you.

**bandit95** · 06-24-2006, 03:09 PM

sorry to hear whats happening. i just got done with my divorce a coulpe of weeks ago. my ex said she would sign the paper work and do it all but she never did so i had to do it all myself and got her to sign a waiver so i could get it done myself. it's nothing fun, and i wish the best for both of you in whatever ends up happening.

**310stanger** · 06-24-2006, 03:32 PM

hes jus bein irresponsible

**SeVeReDiStOrTiOn** · 06-24-2006, 06:37 PM

Not trying to sound cold hearted...but that's what happens when you marry too young. It seems like it was more because of him then you, just tell him he's lucky he doesn't live in california....the courts ass rape the guys here.

**SSwt00SS** · 06-24-2006, 06:51 PM

I'm sorry to hear what you and your husband are going through. I hope however it turns out that it doesn't leave a bitter taste in either of you.

BIGRED Z · 06-24-2006, 09:36 PM

He initiated the divorce proceedings only without the cash....finish what he started and get on with your life.

Pony up the cash to do so and claim the cost of filing to him if you have proof he is cheating.

If you have no proof, split the cost and be done with the loser.

You can love a man with all your heart, but you can't love him enough to treat you like shit.

Lori

**Bigrus** · 06-24-2006, 09:49 PM

Originally Posted by BIGRED Z

Pony up the cash to do so and claim the cost of filing to him if you have proof he is cheating.

If they agreed on the seperation its not cheating. Either way you can finish it up. Just have him pay for the fee's and have his paperwork signed correctly. My friend had this done with her husband in 6 months with maybe 5 minutes of contact with him just to get him to sign the papers.

**illcul8troffcr** · 06-24-2006, 09:49 PM

Well no offense but this is maybe why he wanted the divorce in the first place.. your dictating what he needs to do and when and how.. and all he seems to want to do right now is not answer to anyone.. people marry for a companion not a mother.. and if you did this in other aspects of the marriage I can see why he distanced and then eventually pulled away..

I wish you the best .. but you cant dictate or tell him in what fashion or what time frame you want the divorce completed. Talk to him show your concern and stress how its hurting you. And yes maybe he isnt in love with you anymore but he has to love you as a person .. so with that ask him to respect you and do this final thing for you and make it a priority .. ask him key words.. not telling him

BIGRED Z · 06-24-2006, 09:53 PM

Originally Posted by illcul8troffcr

so with that ask him to respect you and do this final thing for you and make it a priority .. ask him key words.. not telling him

That is always the better way to go about getting what you want. As he said, no one wants to be TOLD what to do...'

Lori

**illcul8troffcr** · 06-24-2006, 09:54 PM

Originally Posted by Bigrus

If they agreed on the seperation its not cheating. Either way you can finish it up. Just have him pay for the fee's and have his paperwork signed correctly. My friend had this done with her husband in 6 months with maybe 5 minutes of contact with him just to get him to sign the papers.

Not sure where youre from but in our state once both have agreed for legal seperation there cant be any type of relations with another person for 6 months regardless of what terms by the two they agreed upon. By law its still a legally binding contract for that 6 month period.

**Bigrus** · 06-24-2006, 09:54 PM

Originally Posted by SunsetZ

I am not saying he can't date and whatever else but seriously, he needs to get the ball rolling with the divorce first!!!!! Thank you for letting me get this out. I am better now!

Is this post a stab at him on a place he hangs out so he will do what your telling him?

I mean Why not ttalk to him or do it somewhere that you know his friends, and people will not see.

Its not hard to know who you were with from the post on this board.

**Bigrus** · 06-24-2006, 09:57 PM

Originally Posted by illcul8troffcr

Not sure where youre from but in our state once both have agreed for legal seperation there cant be any type of relations with another person for 6 months regardless of what terms by the two they agreed upon. By law its still a legally binding contract for that 6 month period.

Was here in texas. He tried to bring that up in court to the judge with pictures that she was on a date. The judge wanted proof from her how long they were seperated and if they lived togther she showed her lease agreement at the new apartment, and had people saying they agreed to the split. He was told too bad nothing he can say about it.

BIGRED Z · 06-24-2006, 10:03 PM

Also, it depends on if you live in a common law state, or a community property state. If you're in the latter..it's all 50/50 anyway. Debt or what you own.

Lori

**illcul8troffcr** · 06-24-2006, 10:06 PM

Originally Posted by BIGRED Z

Also, it depends on if you live in a common law state, or a community property state. If you're in the latter..it's all 50/50 anyway. Debt or what you own.

Lori

That would be in my home state Virginia and they dont play with that shit either haha

BIGRED Z · 06-24-2006, 10:14 PM

You'd be suprised...for example...you are an unhappy couple in California which is a community property state.

Say said spouse is unhappy with other cheating spouse...they can literally go to Vegas and run up a $100K debt....legally, the other spouse is legally responsible for HALF that debt as long as they are still legally married. '
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