Some UPS Humor

[SMWS6TA]

UPS HUMOR

Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots ( marked with a P ) and the solutions recorded ( marked with an S ) by maintenance engineers.

P : Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S : Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P : Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S : Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P : Something loose in cockpit
S : Something tightened in cockpit

P : Dead bugs on windshield.
S : Live bugs on back-order.

P : Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S : Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P : Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S : Evidence removed.

P : DME volume unbelievably loud.
S : DME volume set to more believable level.

P : Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S : That's what friction locks are for.

P : IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S : IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P : Suspected crack in windshield
S : Suspect you're right.

P : Number 3 engine missing.
S : Engine found on right wing after brief search

P : Aircraft handles funny.
S : Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P : Target radar hums.
S : Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P : Mouse in cockpit.
S : Cat installed.

And the best one for last

P : Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S : Took hammer away from the midget.

By the way, UPS is the only major carrier that has never, ever, had an accident.

[SteveCZ28]

seen this like 6 years ago...but still funny

[SMWS6TA]

everything on the net a repost?

[67CamaroRSSS]

When I saw it was before there was an Internet. It was about AF planes then... Except for the "never had an accident" part.

[LSCyaL8R]

I saw this it was about Qantas...... very funny though

oh and hai UPS plane that's never been in an accident.. ever ever!!

[ls1camino]

I saw this it was about Qantas...... very funny though

oh and hai UPS plane that's never been in an accident.. ever ever!!

Must have happened in the last 6 years.

[LSCyaL8R]

if by 6 years you mean 1998

[ls1camino]

if by 6 years you mean 1998

Yes.

[blackSS01]

[86 IROC-Z]

everything on the net a repost?

Yes. There hasn't been any original content since 2003.

[Smkn_TA]

Doesn't take a college degree to fly a plane. Straight out of High School you can go to local airport and find an instructor.

[86 IROC-Z]

Doesn't take a college degree to fly a plane. Straight out of High School you can go to local airport and find an instructor.

This.

One of my friends has been in college 7 years now, hasn't graduated but he's taken me up in his Cessna a few times.

[DrMilhouse]

Yes. There hasn't been any original content since 2003.

It's a little bit like hip hop...

[SMWS6TA]

It does to fly the commercials

[DrMilhouse]

SMWS6TA, grammar is your friend.

[Smkn_TA]

It does to fly the commercials

Nope...I know SEVERAL commercial liscensed pilots, both single and multi engine with NO college degree.

[SMWS6TA]

lol.....not tonight....been drinking a few...

[Nhra Firebird]

ATP is the highest level and that doesn't even require a degree

[third_shift|studios]

LOL @ the midget one!

[KahanaReef]

Those are hysterical!

When I first saw this thread, I was thinking UPS as in...