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  1. #1
    Random Pics King FSANE's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
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    White Plains, NY
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    Silver
    2002 Trans AM

    Exclamation So, I have this apartment for rent...

    http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/rnr/964514051.html

    All the tenants I interview aren't good enough (Broadway and Commercial)
    Reply to: pers-964514051@craigslist.org [?]
    Date: 2008-12-19, 6:05PM PST


    I am a born again Christian. Why is this a problem for people????! I have a house that's MINE and I PAID FOR IT. I also have a basement apartment for rent. It's a great space for I'm charing very little for it, $480 monthly, for the right tenant. I know it's ILLEGAL to require a Christian in the apartment, against the human rights. That's why I NEVER put this in my ad. Why then does it keep getting taken down?

    HERE IS THE AD I POSTED, AND THE AD THAT KEEPS GETTING REMOVED:

    Available Immediately – Broadway and Commercial – Showing Saturday and Sunday – Email for directions and additional information.

    What kind of apartment is it?

    • One bedroom basement apartment with separate entrance
    • Tastefully decorated with modern décor
    • Approximately 650 square feet
    • There is even a window! Security bars installed for your safety and to prevent unauthorized activity
    • Closed circuit camera installed for security and safety. One in your suite, one at the entrance, and one in the exercise yard

    Rent:
    • $480.00 per month
    • First month’s rent + ½ month security deposit due at move in
    • Small pet allowed with approval and payment of additional ½ month pet damage deposit
    • One year lease permitted, option to renew lease at end of the term with no increase in rent
    • LANDLORD’S SPECIAL! Move in before January 1st and don’t pay for the remainder of December! That’s significant savings.

    Included in the rent:

    • Electricity
    • Heat – Maintained at 21 degrees with lock box to prevent unauthorized tampering. Additional heating available for $20.00 per extra degree of heating per month. You may not use your oven to heat the apartment. If you do, you will be fined $50.00 per occurrence.
    • Air conditioning – Maintained at 25 degrees during the summer with lock box to prevent extra cooling from being dispensed. Additional cooling for sale for $20.00 per degree of cooling requested per month.
    • 25" Zenith color television set with basic cable service - INCLUDED IN RENT!
    • Wireless internet (with content filter applied to block forbidden/immoral websites) - INCLUDED IN RENT!
    • Provision of coin laundry services - You will have your own personal coin laundry washer and dryer machines. Washers and dryers are paid using a token system. Tokens can be purchased through the landlord. Washer tokens cost $4.15 each and dryer tokens cost $3.60 each. You are not allowed to use foreign
    currency or slugs in the washer and dryer. Violators will be fined $100.00 per infraction.

    About us: (Landlords)

    We are conservative, bible believing, God-fearing, born again, evangelical Christians. We interpret the bible literally in every way possible. We live a strict moral code and observe God’s laws in our everyday life. My wife stays at home and teaches our home-schooled children. I work as a pastor at a local congregation and am active in the faith community.

    About you: (Tenant)

    • You are employed
    • You do not participate in lascivious deviant sexual behavior
    • You do not choose alternative lifestyles as your lifestyle
    • You do not have any criminal history
    • You must have excellent character references
    • You do not smoke, drink or take drugs. Mandatory drug screening required.


    Additional Rules/Conditions:

    CLEANLINESS: You are responsible for the cleanliness and orderliness of
    your apartment. Beds are to be made before leaving your suite,
    countertops must be wiped down, and you must remove all trash. Upon
    inspection, if the tenant's basement suite is not clean, the cost of
    cleaning services plus a fine of $100.00 will be levied.
    LIGHTS: The lights in your basement suite and in the day room are not to
    be tampered with. If a light needs repair, report the condition to the
    Landlord.
    WAKE-UP: Wake up will be at 5:30am each morning. All ceiling lights in
    the suite will be turned on automatically.
    LIGHTS OUT: Ceiling lights in the suite will be turned off at 11:30pm.
    CONTRABAND: The following items are considered contraband – alcohol, illegal drugs, tobacco, weapons, lock picking equipment. If any contraband is discovered to be in your possession, you will be subject to a minimum $1,000.00 fine. In addition, your items will be confiscated permanently. Second offense – you will be evicted without notice. A bailiff will escort you and your belongings off the premises. Your security deposit will not be returned.
    SMOKING: The basement suite is non-smoking. Anyone in possession of
    tobacco products of any kind or any lighter or matches, will have their
    contraband items confiscated and will be fined $100.00.
    INSPECTIONS: The Landlord will conduct unannounced inspections to ensure
    that these rules and regulations are being followed.
    VISITATION: Visitation periods will be on Saturdays and Sundays from
    1:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. All visitors and their vehicles are subject
    to search while on landlord property. Refusal to allow a search can
    result in their being barred from all future visitation privileges. All
    visitors must sign the Visitor's Log. Unauthorized visitors will be
    escorted from the property, and the tenant will be fined $250.00.
    I.D. BRACELETS: Each tenant will be issued an I.D. bracelet with his/her
    photograph. It must be worn at all times. If you lose your I.D.
    bracelet or it is broken, you will be required to purchase a new one at
    the nominal cost of $5.00.
    EXERCISE YARD: The tenant will have access to the exercise yard in the
    area to the back of the property for 2 hours per day from 4:00 pm to
    6:00 pm. The tenant is not allowed to bring any personal property to
    the exercise yard. Once the tenant leaves the exercise yard on a
    particular day, he or she may not return. No boisterous behavior is
    allowed in the exercise yard. There is no smoking allowed in the
    exercise yard. Minimum fine for exercise yard infractions is $50.00.



  2. #2
    Nuclear Cat Will End All LS1Powerhouse's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
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    Edwardsville, IL (So. IL Univ. of Edwardsville)
    Age
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    Mystic Teal
    1999 Camaro Z28 - A4

    Wow... Just wow...

  3. #3
    Impounded
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    Beaver Dam KY
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    79 T/A -91 Firebird
    1998 Trans Am -Oynx Black

    Looks like soviet russia IMO....

    and to that... F.O.

  4. #4
    Member CJREX's Avatar
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    GA
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    Gone:2001 Camaro SS #4846

    Gee, why hasn't anyone signed up for a sentence in that Prison, I mean apartment?

    Strict visitation hours! Random searches of your apartment, car, and visitors cars!

    All for less than $500 a month!

    But the 25" Zenith makes it all worthwhile!

  5. #5
    Senior Member Nhra Firebird's Avatar
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    Jul 2005
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    southern pa
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    I would move in just to mess with them. lol

  6. #6
    Rodzilla Tha Cavity Filla zero_proto's Avatar
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    San DEEEE Eggo
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    teal
    99 Z28 with an SS complex

    i would shit all over the place, and then draw satan in blood on all my walls and proceed to have hookers come over but by knocking at their door asking for me. All the while buddies from ls1.com shoot up and sing rap while beating some hoes

  7. #7
    Senior Member Blown Interceptor's Avatar
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    San Diego, Ca
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    Black
    1999 Camaro SS

    Sounds worse than Pelican Bay ...

  8. #8
    Desert Boat Guy SouthernBornThriller's Avatar
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    Charlotte, NC
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    35
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    Black 2002 T/A M6
    Green 1997 Ram 4x4

    I'd move in. Get deathly sick from being kept at 21 degrees and sleep deprivation (lights coming on a 5:30am FTL), then sue them.

  9. #9
    Impounded
    Join Date
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    79 T/A -91 Firebird
    1998 Trans Am -Oynx Black

    Quote Originally Posted by SouthernBornThriller View Post
    I'd move in. Get deathly sick from being kept at 21 degrees and sleep deprivation (lights coming on a 5:30am FTL), then sue them.
    Thats in celcius...........

    LOL....

    way to go

  10. #10
    Senior Member TransAm11973's Avatar
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    in my Trans Am
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    2,628

    Black
    2000 Trans Am WS6

    the guy forgot to post about the daily butt raping

  11. #11
    Desert Boat Guy SouthernBornThriller's Avatar
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    Black 2002 T/A M6
    Green 1997 Ram 4x4

    Quote Originally Posted by JoshieDoom View Post
    Thats in celcius...........

    LOL....

    way to go
    Damn Canadians and their...measurements....

  12. #12
    Impounded
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    79 T/A -91 Firebird
    1998 Trans Am -Oynx Black

    Quote Originally Posted by SouthernBornThriller View Post
    Damn Canadians and their...measurements....
    lol.. dont feel bad took me a sec to figure it out as well

  13. #13
    Senior Member bigrondownhiller's Avatar
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    always dirty
    2013 Ram 2014 Caddy ATS

    Rent it and have sex in the bedroom while doing drugs, smoking and drinking alcohol so the landlords can watch on the camera "for you safety and security."

  14. #14
    Senior Member SS02's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJREX View Post
    Gee, why hasn't anyone signed up for a sentence in that Prison, I mean apartment?

    Strict visitation hours! Random searches of your apartment, car, and visitors cars!

    All for less than $500 a month!

    But the 25" Zenith makes it all worthwhile!


    I am rolling on the floor...LMAO!
    This is the funniest thread ever, I had to pick someone to quote, this I
    think was my favorite? I really do not know what else to say, U all have
    covered it pretty good.

    On question: WERE THOSE BODY CAVITY SEARCHES?

  15. #15
    Senior Member SS02's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LS1Powerhouse View Post
    Wow... Just wow...

  16. #16
    LINGER LONGERRR DUBB's Avatar
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    NBM
    02 M6 Formula

    lol drug screening and a content for immoral material on your FREE wireless internet

  17. #17
    Member Damon33's Avatar
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    OK
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    138

    Red
    1999 Trans Am

    That's awesome..

  18. #18
    NY Representative basballny2's Avatar
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    NeW YoRk
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    3,394

    Red
    2001 ws6

    ppl....

  19. #19
    down in it 310stanger's Avatar
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    white
    90 Mustang 5.0

    some people have a lot of f'in nerve. And talk about greedy. Every single infraction is a freakin fine. Sounds like a freakin concentration camp. Haha is Speedaddict38 the landlord by any chance?

  20. #20
    Member CJREX's Avatar
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    GA
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    Gone:2001 Camaro SS #4846

    SleeperC5 is the landlord.

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