Single Parent stress rant

[knightryda01]

ok, just trying to get some opinions on this.

We have a shared custody order, yet we live nearly 100 miles apart. I get child on weekends and 1/2 summer. we also split transportation.

Child is 12 and was recently accepted into a program that will help with college expenses. This program is located down by the mother and I guess they are required to do things on weekends etc. so basically i'm going to pick child up on friday at 6pm driving 180 miles round trip, and the mother wants me to then have to drive another 180 miles on saturday morning so child can attend the event with this program. If i factor in my drive time for work etc, I'm looking at 10hrs of drive time every weekend. I mean I support my child succeeding but at the same time how much is to much? Not to mention my free time to do anything I would like to schedule with the child is pretty much interrupted because we have to do this instead.

I'm hoping I am not sounding like a jerk but it seems a bit much to me. Not to mention this was done without even asking my opinion on it and it does directly interfere with my time with child. At this point I might as well just cut a check for the schooling this program helps with.

I also work a lot of weekends to this directly affects my ability to spend time with child and will force me to use others to transport this child to these events. I also know for a fact that if I signed child up for something, I can't see her mom making a trip down here to make sure she attends. Just don't know how to feel about this one.

[Cutlass]

In 6 years, none of this stress will matter when you look back and know you did the right thing for your child's future.
I remember growing up, the was a multi-year period where I didn't see much of my dad for various reasons (nothing negative) and I don't look back judging him badly. And our relationship as grown ups is fine.

[Cutlass]

It's could be a long, tough 6 years even if you look at the situation as an overall positive thing.

[theorangeguy]

My dad lived less than 10 minutes away from me for the majority of my childhood and never came to see me or spend time with me. He left when I was born and I saw him for about 2 weeks when I was like 5-6 years old and that has stuck with me to this day. Its been somewhere around 22-23 years since I've seen him and to be honest I could live the rest of my life and not see him and be perfectly fine...with that said, try to figure out a way to spend time with your kid even if its a pain in the ass because all they will remember is when you were there and when you weren't there...not why you werent there.

[knightryda01]

I agree totally. It would be one thing if this place was 10-15 mins away. But now were talking 5 hours plus.. Not that the day is ruined after that but it's gonna knock out a good chunk of it.

Also it derails any possible plans I can make with the family for a weekend getaway or to simply just to do something my family and I want to do.

Then she tells me, well if you can't make it then just pick her up saturday. (Which if I work) means I get up there at 6pm and I'm home around 730-8PM What else is their to do except veg out. It's to the point that It's like whats the point? I don't schedule shit on her time and I especially dont schedule things that make her spend 3 hrs of there time driving to and from.

I really feel she did this deliberately to sabotage my time with the child. I have zero faith in the court system to do anything right so I am just stuck.

[Cutlass]

Is it just during the school year for this weekend program?

[knightryda01]

I don't have all the specifics on it yet. Its during the school year. Not sure if it is every weekend or monthly. If it's monthly then I can handle it. I'm not doing it every weekend.

[Cutlass]

It's rare that any program is every weekend, all school year long. It honestly probably not gonna be too bad. It'll certainly interrupt your normal weekend work or kid fun times, but if it's a good program for your kid, then it's probably something you should do

[0rion]

1. kill ex
2. spend as much time as you want with your kid
3.????
4. profit

[theorangeguy]

1. kill ex
2. spend as much time as you want with your kid
3.????
4. profit

Not sure I'd want to be giving that kind of advice...

[knightryda01]

Already thought about it.. lol. Think I've watched to much the first 48... lol