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Thread: Sh*t my dad says
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10-01-2010, 12:24 PM #1
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
Sh*t my dad says
"You came out of your mom looking like shit. She thought you were beautiful. Don't know what scared me most, your looks or her judgment."
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10-01-2010, 12:25 PM #2
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
"Nervous? In 5 billion years the sun will burn out and nothing you did will matter. Feel better?"
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10-01-2010, 12:28 PM #3
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
"Put the rake down. I don't wanna sit around watching you 'give it your best.' Either stop sucking or get the fuck out of the way."
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10-01-2010, 12:31 PM #4
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
"See, you think I give a shit. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a shit? That's why I look interested."
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10-01-2010, 12:33 PM #5
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10-01-2010, 12:35 PM #6
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
"Invite them. A wedding is a loaded gun. Don't be the asshole staring down the barrel asking which button makes the boom noise."
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10-01-2010, 12:40 PM #7
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
"Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
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10-01-2010, 12:51 PM #8
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
"Engagement rings are pointless. Indians gave cows...Oh sorry, congrats on proposing. We good now? Can I finish my indian story?"
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10-01-2010, 12:56 PM #9
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- Sep 2005
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- TEXAS... U mad?
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Black / Stryker Blue- 2K WS.6/ 2K9 G8GT
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10-01-2010, 12:57 PM #10
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
"Look, we're basically on earth to shit and fuck. So unless your job's to help people shit or fuck, it's not that important, so relax."
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10-01-2010, 01:04 PM #11
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
"No. Humans will die out. We're weak. Dinosaurs survived on rotten flesh. You got diarrhea last week from a Wendy's."
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10-01-2010, 01:17 PM #12
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
"They're offended? Fuck, shit, asshole, shitfuck; they're just words...Fine. Shitfuck isn't a word, but you get my point."
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10-01-2010, 01:27 PM #13
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
“You seen my cell phone?...What’s it look like? Like two horses fucking. It’s a phone, son. It looks like a phone."
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10-01-2010, 01:37 PM #14
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My life is a- Ben Stiller movie.
"I like the dog's standpoint: If i can't hump it or eat it, i'll piss on it and walk away."
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10-01-2010, 02:27 PM #15
I brought you in this world I will take you out,and it don't metter to me because I can make another one just like you.
Son practice the dumptruck method,dump your load and leave.
When I get home I am gonna half kill you (been half killed so many times I am uberundead)
don't lie to me boy I have been there and done that long before you was even swimming in nutville
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10-01-2010, 02:46 PM #16
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
"I’m not sure you can call that roughing it, son… Well, for one, there was a fucking minivan parked forty feet from your sleeping bags.”
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10-01-2010, 03:04 PM #17
after coming out of the bathroom "I just shook the piss outta your daddy."
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10-01-2010, 03:27 PM #18
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10-01-2010, 03:58 PM #19
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10-01-2010, 04:00 PM #20
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Light Pewter Metallic- y2k 8-cylinder catfish
"Waking up when you got a baby, you feel like you drank a bottle of whiskey the night before, except the shit's in someone else's pants."
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