a real live x-mas tree

[0rion]

Every year the family and I take a trip out to a tree farm near here. The wife and I have been doing it since we first started dating. I was actually doing it before I met her. Just take the afternoon and go for a drive. The farm is in hill country down by where I hunt so it's always a nice drive. We've took the kids every year since they've been born which ain't really that long ( boy is 4 and my girl is 18 months). My boy is at the age where he gets a kick out of it.......until we get there and start walking. He bitched and moaned the entire time about being cold ( it was pretty cold but he was dressed for it) then we start cutting the tree. I normally use a hand saw but figured I'd save 5-10 minutes of my life and took my chain saw this year. Smart move. 10 seconds later and our wonderful, family selected, hand picked, and personally cut down x-mas tree was on the ground. Now came the 15 minute walk back up to the place to pay for it while my son bitched about being cold the entire walk. I pay the guy $25 and he shakes it to get the crap out of it while I tell my son to watch for squirrels to fall out which he really took an interest in doing . He then wraps it and says "thank you" and I haul it out to the truck. The boy is nice and warm in the truck while I'm trying to thow this 8 foot piece of crap on top of a Durango by myself. Finally get it up there and tie it down. Get in the truck and the boy has finally gotten warm but now he's hungry so I hear that all the way home. Take the tree off the Durango ( by myself) and go eat dinner. Get home and the little girl takes a nap. After she woke up the fun began.
I had to wrestle this monster into the house and get it in the base only to find out it's so lopsided the base won't handle it. I take my hand saw and cut off a foot or two from the bottom then stack a couple of bricks on the side of the base to hold it down. In the meantime my little girl had ornaments from one end of the house to the other and about 10 minutes into the decorating process my boy was done and wanted to wrestle. The wife and I get it all decorated and step back and take a good look at it. It's by far the ugliest damn x-mas tree I've ever seen. It looks like a good x-mas tree took a dump and that's what we cut down and carried home. I'm surprised the guy didn't pay me $25 for taking it down for him. We put as many ornaments on it as we could but at some point it was just like polishing a turd. After a while it just gets mushy.
I told my wife that even though it's ugly it's the experience we're after. When I'm 80 and can't go get a tree I'll be glad I have these memories to look back on. X-mas time is my favorite time of year and I love spending time with my family. Even though this tree makes me wanna puke in my mouth a little bit when I look at it I'm glad we went. This shot is from the good side and I didn't have the stomach to put the whole thing in there but even with the smoke and mirrors you can see the S-curve this thing has. Even though it looks crooked it ain't. The top is vertical of the bottom. How come they always look better before you get 'em home?

[sunsetorangess]

Lol, Its all about the memories, Well you had your son complaining, I allways has the Ex complaining and thats even worse, I think thats why she became the Ex.
J

[Firehawk1120]

Holy Shit orion you made my morning and I'm not even dressed for work yet. I have a little girl on the way and my wife and I are going tomorrow to cut down our tree. We do it every year, I can't wait for stuff like this. I have to show this to my wife I know she'll get a kick out of it...

[SSwt00SS]

Firehawk, congrats to you and your lady! Orion, I'm looking forward to the day when I become a father...

Happy Holidays to the both of you and your families!

[Spaz]

[0rion]

Holy Shit orion you made my morning and I'm not even dressed for work yet. I have a little girl on the way and my wife and I are going tomorrow to cut down our tree. We do it every year, I can't wait for stuff like this. I have to show this to my wife I know she'll get a kick out of it...

Did you ever notice as a kid that your dad would be relatively quiet on outings like this? You're about to learn why in the next couple of years. It's to keep from killing someone. I also learned that half the ass whippings I got as a kid by my dad weren't meant for me......they were meant for mom.

[Spaz]

Did you ever notice as a kid that your dad would be relatively quiet on outings like this? You're about to learn why in the next couple of years. It's to keep from killing someone. I also learned that half the ass whippings I got as a kid by my dad weren't meant for me......they were meant for mom.

[say'n somthin]

From ugly X-mas trees, to missing brakes, you have the best stories ever. I am surprised you were able to wrestle the tree after the shot to the pills you took from the sledge hammer. I figured you would be still staring at the work bench. lol Love the stories, keep em coming.

[ss~zoso~ss]

yea I love real trees, cant stand fake ones, my family likes balsams

[Spaz]

yea I love real trees, cant stand fake ones, my family likes balsams

+1...

i wish i could put up a giant california red wood... with nice decor...

[0rion]

From ugly X-mas trees, to missing brakes, you have the best stories ever. I am surprised you were able to wrestle the tree after the shot to the pills you took from the sledge hammer. I figured you would be still staring at the work bench. lol Love the stories, keep em coming.

that brake story actually got better but I never updated that thread. About 2-3 days after it was done I got a pimple on my ass....right cheek. It got real sore and I was thinking it was some kind of newly discovered pimple. After a day or two I decided to investigate and dropped my drawers in front of a mirror. My entire right ass cheek was pretty shades of purples, blues, and yellows with a sore at the nucleus that I had been thinking was a pimple. Now I'm perplexed. How in the hell did that get there I kept thinking? Then it hit me. At one point in the garage when I was doing the brake job I went to sit down and sat on my jackstand by mistake. It hurt like hell but I didn't think it would cause that much damage so I never gave it a second thought. After seeing what a jackstand will do to an ass cheek I'm damn glad I didn't hit her square in the brown eye or I woulda been in deep trouble.