Rant: big penis problems....

[DrMilhouse]

Where to begin? I hate my giant dick. I haven't always hated it, mind you, just for the last, oh, 17 years or so.

I loved my dick when I was 13 and had a nice 7 inch tool. I'd put it through its paces regularly and just couldn't wait to share it with some of my female classmates. At 14 I was starting to get just a little concerned as I then had a 9 inch member. It was great, but I was hoping for no further growth. No such luck. By the time I was 16 or 17, the growth finally ended. Unfortunately, not before I had reached my freakish proportions.

It's 12 inches long. It's about as big around as one of those tall cans of Coors Light (horrible beer, by the way). It doesn’t help that I’m a shower, not a grower. When flaccid it’s still 9 inches. In high school I picked up nicknames like cackyderm (creative), kickstand, and “the plunger.” I was smart, funny, athletic, and well liked, though, so the kidding was not mean spirited. I know that some awkward big dicked guys must go through much worse in high school.

Now, I’m sure some guys are thinking that this doesn’t sound like a problem and they wouldn’t mind swinging a stick like this around. Trust me, it sucks. To understand what it’s like to live with a giant dick you have to throw out everything you know about normal life. I love sports and athletic activities. Unfortunately, my dick loves this too and celebrates by flopping around like a frog on a frying pan. An extra large heavy-duty athletic supporter is an absolute must. Go without, and I could end up with a black eye. Of course, by the time I get everything stuffed into the supporter I look like I’ve crammed a grapefruit down my shorts in case I need a snack at half time. If the supporter fails, my dick will fly out of there like the spring snakes in one of those novelty cans of mixed nuts. I hope there aren’t any kids watching the game. I really enjoy swimming, but water + swim trunks = cling = gasps. My next house will have a pool and a tall fence.

How about non-athletic activities like, say, walking down the street? First off, boxers are out. No one wants to see that coming toward them. Even briefs only do a marginal job of keeping everything from swinging around. All new clothes must be tried on to see if they pass my dick visibility test (DVT). Jeans fail. Many slacks fail. Most shorts fail. Need to sit on the toilet? Hold on to snakey or he’s going swimming.

Fine, but it’s gotta rock in the sack, right? Wrong. Don’t get me wrong, it gets hard as a rock and stays that way, but finding someone able to work with it has been difficult. I’m a nice, attractive, and successful guy so I have met a lot of women who wanted to get down with me. That is, until they see my dick. My first time was when I was 18 with a friend’s older sister (23). The look on her face when she saw it erect was one of surprise, incredulity, and fear. To her credit, she was willing to give it a go, but it would only go so far. Guys, you know how great it feels to pound away “balls deep”? I don’t. I have yet to find a woman who can take it all. A lot of women have simply said, “Forget it” once they see it. Last month I met a really nice woman who followed me back to my place from a Belltown bar. We got close and it was getting hot until ol’ dicky came out. The look on her face was one of actual horror (you know, eyes bulged, hand over a gaping mouth). Without saying a word, she bolted up, grabbed her clothes, and was out the door. You’d think it had five dragon heads at the end (it doesn’t, by the way). How about a nice blowjob? Maybe if there were a bunch of female versions of Steve Tyler out there I’d actually be able to get one. That leaves few options. I’ve gotten very good at going down and handjobs are about all that works with most ladies. Given the crap shoot of reactions from new partners, masturbation has been my best option overall.

I know things could be worse. I’m 6’2” and 220 pounds, so at least it doesn’t look like an actual third leg like it would if I were 5’1”. It’s also not bent, doesn’t just get to half mast, or have any of the other physical problems a dick can have. But it’s a damn hassle every day. I’d give my left nut to give up 4 inches and some girth.

To those guys who wish they had a massive dick instead of their average or below average one, I say enjoy what you have. Things could be worse: your wish could come true.

[Sassy Cassie]

How joo doin'?!?

[Sassy Cassie]

[FuxOnTheFirstDate]

Nice thread,

Back to reality: www.mattersofsize.com/forum is the place to go if you want a bigger tool. You may not want 12" but a hefty 8 or 9 is very possible.

[FuxOnTheFirstDate]

Sassy, in all honesty what can you take? Can you take a foot of cock?

[Sassy Cassie]

I haven't made a habit out of measuring those sort of things.

[SSwt00SS]

wow, just freakin' wow...

[Mr. Luos]

I got 99 problems and my dick ain't one

[KyleLs1]

I got 99 problems and my dick ain't one

[Stone]

This thread makes me

[Bigrus]

You think you have problems? Try being 6'7 280 ontop of a 5'7 female who weighs 145....one slip and its right to the hospital. Its like a elephant trying to fuck a poodle.

Women fear you, men always challenge you.

[Hurley711]

Gotta love this site. Really you do. A tech question will sit on the pile and collect dust with 0 responses for days, yet this thread has 10 responses in 45 mins LS1.com

[FasstChevys]

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 8

FasstChevys, BADBLUE02, Bigrus, dag711, DrMilhouse, jb369ta, KyleLs1, rbob93

[Firebug]

Geez mate, I'd be worried about passing out when all the blood drains from your head to fill Mr Wiggly when he stands proud!

We are not worthy O keeper of the penis...

[5LtrBtr]

I'm just kidding I don't want to see any pics, just always wanted to have a good reason to use that smiley. Well there are plenty of sorority sluts around here that I'm sure could take that and much more. I'll take that extra 4 inches you're trying to give away, that might get me up to 6 1/2

[Bigrus]

Gotta love this site. Really you do. A tech question will sit on the pile and collect dust with 0 responses for days, yet this thread has 10 responses in 45 mins LS1.com

Cant beat'em join'em i give the site another 6 months with the way the posting goes. So why not have fun with the ride down.

[sassy]

Once had that similiar issue and my first reaction was ...."your not planning putting that thing in here....r'yah?"

[atilla2000tax2]

Where to begin? I hate my giant dick. I haven't always hated it, mind you, just for the last, oh, 17 years or so.

I loved my dick when I was 13 and had a nice 7 inch tool. I'd put it through its paces regularly and just couldn't wait to share it with some of my female classmates. At 14 I was starting to get just a little concerned as I then had a 9 inch member. It was great, but I was hoping for no further growth. No such luck. By the time I was 16 or 17, the growth finally ended. Unfortunately, not before I had reached my freakish proportions.

It's 12 inches long. It's about as big around as one of those tall cans of Coors Light (horrible beer, by the way). It doesn’t help that I’m a shower, not a grower. When flaccid it’s still 9 inches. In high school I picked up nicknames like cackyderm (creative), kickstand, and “the plunger.” I was smart, funny, athletic, and well liked, though, so the kidding was not mean spirited. I know that some awkward big dicked guys must go through much worse in high school.

Now, I’m sure some guys are thinking that this doesn’t sound like a problem and they wouldn’t mind swinging a stick like this around. Trust me, it sucks. To understand what it’s like to live with a giant dick you have to throw out everything you know about normal life. I love sports and athletic activities. Unfortunately, my dick loves this too and celebrates by flopping around like a frog on a frying pan. An extra large heavy-duty athletic supporter is an absolute must. Go without, and I could end up with a black eye. Of course, by the time I get everything stuffed into the supporter I look like I’ve crammed a grapefruit down my shorts in case I need a snack at half time. If the supporter fails, my dick will fly out of there like the spring snakes in one of those novelty cans of mixed nuts. I hope there aren’t any kids watching the game. I really enjoy swimming, but water + swim trunks = cling = gasps. My next house will have a pool and a tall fence.

How about non-athletic activities like, say, walking down the street? First off, boxers are out. No one wants to see that coming toward them. Even briefs only do a marginal job of keeping everything from swinging around. All new clothes must be tried on to see if they pass my dick visibility test (DVT). Jeans fail. Many slacks fail. Most shorts fail. Need to sit on the toilet? Hold on to snakey or he’s going swimming.

Fine, but it’s gotta rock in the sack, right? Wrong. Don’t get me wrong, it gets hard as a rock and stays that way, but finding someone able to work with it has been difficult. I’m a nice, attractive, and successful guy so I have met a lot of women who wanted to get down with me. That is, until they see my dick. My first time was when I was 18 with a friend’s older sister (23). The look on her face when she saw it erect was one of surprise, incredulity, and fear. To her credit, she was willing to give it a go, but it would only go so far. Guys, you know how great it feels to pound away “balls deep”? I don’t. I have yet to find a woman who can take it all. A lot of women have simply said, “Forget it” once they see it. Last month I met a really nice woman who followed me back to my place from a Belltown bar. We got close and it was getting hot until ol’ dicky came out. The look on her face was one of actual horror (you know, eyes bulged, hand over a gaping mouth). Without saying a word, she bolted up, grabbed her clothes, and was out the door. You’d think it had five dragon heads at the end (it doesn’t, by the way). How about a nice blowjob? Maybe if there were a bunch of female versions of Steve Tyler out there I’d actually be able to get one. That leaves few options. I’ve gotten very good at going down and handjobs are about all that works with most ladies. Given the crap shoot of reactions from new partners, masturbation has been my best option overall.

I know things could be worse. I’m 6’2” and 220 pounds, so at least it doesn’t look like an actual third leg like it would if I were 5’1”. It’s also not bent, doesn’t just get to half mast, or have any of the other physical problems a dick can have. But it’s a damn hassle every day. I’d give my left nut to give up 4 inches and some girth.

To those guys who wish they had a massive dick instead of their average or below average one, I say enjoy what you have. Things could be worse: your wish could come true.

wanna trade problems with me?

[1fastcamarosss11]

to "fucking" funny.

[Hurley711]

Does it have its own bed?