A Question on Morals

**ls1camino** · 01-08-2010, 05:22 PM

So my friend/roommate asked me to help him work on his C5. He bought a new Tranny, Clutch, Headers, Exhaust, and Supercharger, among other things, but those are the big ticket items. Sicne he really has no idea what he is doing, I thought it would be best if I at least was there to guide him. The work is being done at the heated garage on base near my house.

Wednesday we dropped the entire drivetrain (driveshaft, tranny, and rear). After this we went to dinner at a local diner. I was full expecting him to pay for my food, but when the check came he only paid for his. Fine...I'll let it go once.

Thursday, before we got to the garage, we went to Burger King, and he didn't pay for my food again. At this point, I'm a little peeved, but I let it go. At the garage, I got the new clutch and tranny in, while he worked on replacing the brakes. We then got everything back into the car in time for the garage closing at 2100. This time he bought me 3 tacos and a drink at Taco Hell

I might mention that I took paid leave from one of my jobs in order to help him. Yeah, "paid leave" sounds great, but now I can't use it later for me. Today (Friday), I had to go to my second job (after calling out Thursday because I was tired from working on the Vette...loss of $160). While at work, I started thinking that my friend should be compensating me for my time and effort on his car. Sort of like when you buy a case of beer for the friends that help you move.

How should I handle this? I don't want to be an ass and leave him stranded in the middle of a rebuild, but I also want to get something out of this. Am I wrong to expect something from a friend for putting hours worth of labor (16+ hours already) into his car and saving him from paying $100/hour at a performance shop? Not to mention the gas in my GTP that I am using to drive him to where his car is.

Thanks guys.

**Lysander** · 01-08-2010, 05:30 PM

I like to provide for my friends when they help me, but if he's not offering I don't think you really have any other right to compensation. If you're unhappy just stop offering to help!

**cammed goat** · 01-08-2010, 05:32 PM

Paying for food is the LEAST one could do when working on a car. Most people could be a REAL D1CK and take monetary payment for services. If it makes it easier, make up a BS excuse to not help him. If he becomes a doosh, remind him that shops don't accept Taco Bell as payment. Remember, shops charge MONEY for service.

**wheeliE-maxx** · 01-08-2010, 05:33 PM

Some people are just goofy like that and won't know until you tell them. All how you're raised I guess.

**310stanger** · 01-08-2010, 05:35 PM

Personally I cant stand people that buy a ton of shit for their car with no intentions of farming the work out to a shop when they know they have no fucking clue how to work on a car. He made all these purchases thinking some sucker is gonna just help him do all the work. Yeah theres nothing wrong with working on your car with your buddy but if you ask for help on a project like that, you better be throwing at least something their way. Theres a huge difference between asking a buddy to do your brakes and then buying him dinner, and then doing a project like this and only buying them a night at taco bell.

You are fucked pretty much now unless you wanna flat out tell him you cant afford any more time spent on the car be it the gas money, time off from job etc.

**310stanger** · 01-08-2010, 05:37 PM

That being said YOU volunteered to help him. You didnt discuss payment ahead of time, so you basically shot yourself in the foot.

But yes your friend lacks a lot of class and comes off pretty selfish. Hell hes even getting free shop time?

I would love to go get an estimate at a shop for that WHOLE job and show him.

**310stanger** · 01-08-2010, 05:38 PM

OH yeah, how come TSS didnt tell us he got a vette? lmao j/k

**Brian H Drifer** · 01-08-2010, 05:57 PM

I help my friends out and they help me out when working on cars.

**The Project** · 01-08-2010, 06:52 PM

Don't offer to help him for a while...when he does call, tell him you'll come over but he's paying for dinner and coffeer (or beer).

I have my motor overe at my buddy's place (he has a garage and hoist). Even though the motor isn't going in unti April or May, I make a point of going over every couple of weeks and buying coffee and a few lunches ahead of time

**PontiacFan** · 01-08-2010, 07:52 PM

Originally Posted by 310stanger

That being said YOU volunteered to help him. You didnt discuss payment ahead of time, so you basically shot yourself in the foot.

This.

**cammed goat** · 01-08-2010, 07:56 PM

Hey Jeremy, know something? Focus on Nymphadora. Problem solved.

**rbob93** · 01-08-2010, 08:08 PM

Originally Posted by 310stanger

That being said YOU volunteered to help him. You didnt discuss payment ahead of time, so you basically shot yourself in the foot.

Yep!

You expected some type of compensation before you began helping him, but failed to strike a deal for your efforts.....Now it's like you're trying to second guess his intentions.

So if it's a question of morals......Time was/is for some communication.

**INMY01TA** · 01-08-2010, 08:12 PM

Originally Posted by PontiacFan

This.

That.

**Y2KPewterSS** · 01-08-2010, 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by 310stanger

That being said YOU volunteered to help him. You didnt discuss payment ahead of time, so you basically shot yourself in the foot.

But yes your friend lacks a lot of class and comes off pretty selfish. Hell hes even getting free shop time?

I would love to go get an estimate at a shop for that WHOLE job and show him.

Originally Posted by Brian H Drifer

I help my friends out and they help me out when working on cars.

Originally Posted by The Project

Don't offer to help him for a while...when he does call, tell him you'll come over but he's paying for dinner and coffeer (or beer).

I have my motor overe at my buddy's place (he has a garage and hoist). Even though the motor isn't going in unti April or May, I make a point of going over every couple of weeks and buying coffee and a few lunches ahead of time

Agreed with all the above. You really dropped the ball by not making your intentions clear prior to any work being performed. He may be the type of guy that just thinks he is going to pay you back by helping you out at some point down the line, don't know the guy, so really hard to say on his behalf. Best thing you can do at this point is not help anymore, if he asks you to help, be straight with him and tell him you can't be blowing gas/time any further by assisting him. He may pony up and offer to compensate you, but he will at least get a feel for the situation then and have the chance to decide.

**Hi-Po** · 01-08-2010, 08:18 PM

Originally Posted by INMY01TA

That.

This and that.

You didn't set any rules. Your problem sadly. You should have set up some boundaries if you expected something. Simple as that. Good for you for being a good friend, shame of you for not planning for the work involved.

**Mr. Luos** · 01-08-2010, 09:05 PM

I needed help with the motor swap. Dropping it and putting it back in are things I didn't want to attack solo.

I had burgers, brats, chips, drinks for anyone that showed up.
Couldn't do beer sadly...

**suede** · 01-08-2010, 09:47 PM

start putting shit on backwards, and he wont ask for help?

**KMdef9** · 01-09-2010, 04:40 AM

That's a shitty friend. Amongst mine, we always have coffee/food/beer for during/after any work and then they are always willing to help you out when you need something.

He should be alittle more greatful for the help. It's not like your standing there simply telling him which bolt to loosen.

I'd talk with him about it, if he's got the money to do all of these upgrades, he can afford to feed you.

**Brian H Drifer** · 01-09-2010, 06:09 AM

If he is a real friend then you shouldn't want anything from him, because he would be helping you out when you need help.

**Frosty** · 01-09-2010, 06:19 AM

It's a shitty or at the VERY least a clueless friend for not offering to buy some food....however maybe he's waiting until the end to give you something?

Like stanger said, you volunteered and it's obvious he clueless. I'd maybe hint around about some compensation but if he doesn't get the hint don't do anything for him again.

Back years ago when I swapped a TTA/GN motor into my thirdgen Trans Am I had a ton of people help and every night we worked on it pizza or cheesesteaks were ordered...it's just the right thing to do lol